Page 37

A n hour or so later, fueled by coffee and anger, I cleaned up Sloane's SUV as much as possible before the kids woke up. I obviously couldn't replace or repair the broken windshield, but I at least got rid of the lipstick and shattered glass.

I called a guy that owned a local body shop who owed me a few favors.

He joked that I might be his last customer for awhile, given the mandatory shutdowns, but he assured me that he could have Sloane's car towed in, windshield replaced, and dropped back off by tomorrow.

I thanked him and told him that we were even.

It pained me to remember that his business didn't make it through the pandemic in my previous life. I couldn't even remember if he had.

With Sloane's SUV squared away, I planned to head up to the Master Builders Inc. office to shut it down and lock up for the coming weeks. On my way to the door, Sloane asked me if I'd run by the grocery store whenever I finished.

I kissed her neck and murmured, "I would do anything for you, Sloane. "

"Hmm… that's great and all, but I really just need eggs, milk, and meat."

I pressed myself against her as I said, "Meat and milk, huh?"

After she called me an idiot with a laugh and a playful slap, I headed out to my truck. The roads were mostly empty on my drive up to the office.

I double checked the place was locked up before I sat alone in that empty building to hold a conference call with Jose and our accountant; we needed to finalize the paychecks and ensure my people would be taken care of while the world shut down.

"That's a lot of outflow without any revenue, jefe." Jose’s voice was sharp with doubt after he heard the accountant announce the amount needed to pay everyone. "Are you sure about this?"

"Yeah," I said. "The guys have earned this break. That includes you, Jose. Take the money, rest up. When things open back up, we'll hit the ground running. Trust me."

Jose’s breath came through the line, a heavy pause before he said, “Okay. I trust you.”

I thanked him and the accountant, told them both to take care, and then the line went silent. I sat there in the dark and empty office for a time, thinking.

I was used to being the one who was in control, the one who gave orders… but at that moment? I was trying to keep everything from falling apart.

According to the news and my memories of the first time I'd lived through this pandemic, it would be at least three weeks before the national lockdown was lifted; three weeks before society attempted to claw its way out of this chaotic pit, back to some semblance of normalcy.

Three weeks hadn't been long enough, as the death toll continued to rise.

The first strain of the virus had been the deadliest; practically melting people's lungs into liquid shit.

There was no way in hell I was letting Sloane go outside without a mask.

In my previous life, she had gotten sick, causing her to miscarry in a hospital alone.

This time might be different, but I didn't dare risk it.

Not when the world felt as if it was teetering on a razor's edge.

Come on, big guy. We're done here and we need to get back to Sloane.

I finished up at the office and headed to the grocery store.

The place felt like a scene from some post-apocalyptic zombie movie.

The shelves were nearly bare. The store had been stripped of toilet paper, bread, hand sanitizer, milk, eggs; as if society had collectively agreed that these were the first things to hoard when the world began to crumble.

I adjusted my N95 mask and ignored the wide, uncomfortable stares of the people around me.

I kept my head down and focused on the task at hand, but it seemed impossible to escape the tension in the air.

That’s when she appeared.

An old woman shuffled over to me, eyes wild and bloodshot with some kind of fury I couldn’t place. “Are you one of those bastards?” she screeched, her voice shrill and vibrating with hatred. “This is all a sham. There is no virus!”

Her words slapped me as spit flew from her mouth.

I raised my hands in front of me, my pulse quickening. “Ma’am, I don't want any trouble.”

She raised her voice even louder. “Trouble is all you bigots bring us! Sheeple! Cowards! Poisoned by your screens and your science! You think this is real? You think they’re not watching? ”

I was between backing away and calling 911 when she threw her arms in the air like she was summoning lightning.

“The Four Horsemen ride again! The virus isn't real. It’s death in disguise! You’ve opened the gates! You’ve let them in!”

The old woman was not angry; she was unhinged, her entire body vibrating with raw, unrestrained emotion.

“They want your blood. Your babies. Your souls,” she said, pointing at random people in the store. “And you’re standing there. Watching. Like it’s all normal!”

I saw the manager rushing over, moving as quickly as he could, but he was too far away to stop the old woman from grabbing the front of my shirt.

She yanked me toward her. “Get back here, you coward!” she spat, eyes wild.

The manager was finally at my side, trying to pry the old woman off of me, his voice apologetic. “I’m so sorry, sir,” he said, his hand on the woman’s arm, trying to pull her away.

I shook my head, forcing a calm I didn’t feel. “No problem,” I muttered, backing away as fast as I could, avoiding any more confrontation.

Fuck me, what in the hell was that?

The fear, the aggression, the sheer lunacy of it all, left me rattled. I felt the adrenaline buzzing in my veins as I waited to check-out.

My hands shook while I scanned the items: pantry staples, extra slabs of meat for the freezer, anything that would last us through the coming weeks.

The Four Horsemen ride again.

The thought kept going off in my head as I stood there processing my payment. The encounter with the old woman had set my head to spinning. I knew something of the Four Horsemen, how each one represented a different thing: war, death, famine, and… plague?

With everything going on, with me being reborn, that old lady might be right.

The world was breaking down and there was nothing I could do to stop it.

The people around me, some of them desperate, some of them in denial, were all struggling to survive in a world that seemed to be slipping away from us.

That old woman was not the first to crack under the mounting pressures of this pandemic; she wouldn't be the last.

The moment I walked into the house with the groceries, Sloane could tell something was off.

She watched me in silence as I brought in bag after bag, my every movement quick, mechanical, and frantic. Once I'd gotten the groceries in, I beelined straight for the laundry room and closed the door behind me.

I stripped off my clothes and tossed them into the washer as if they were radioactive, like they might hold some contagious germ of the madness that had unfolded at the store.

Sloane's voice, gentle with understanding, floated through the door. "We do the same thing when there's a parvo case at the clinic."

Her words, while I knew they were meant to comfort, didn’t reach me fully. I was too busy struggling to breathe, my thoughts swirling in chaotic spirals.

I poured detergent into the washer with shaky hands, the sounds of the liquid mixing with the hammering of my heart in my ears. My memories, my knowledge of what was to come, clawed at me. It was a constant, oppressive presence in my mind .

My next words erupted from me, jagged and heavy. “It’s going to be bad, Sloane,” I said, my voice trembling as I gripped the edge of the washer. “It’s so deadly that five million people will die.”

She opened the door, placed her hand on my arm, and stood with me. She didn’t say anything right away, just… stood with me, her presence grounding me. When she spoke, her voice was a soft balm against my burning mind.

“Levi… it will be okay."

I want to believe that, my love.

Fuck, I really did. But I couldn’t shake the gnawing, aching worry in my bones. My eyes were haunted as I met hers, my voice barely more than a whisper. “I don’t think it will, Sloane.”

I saw the concern on her face. She stepped closer then and wrapped her arms around me. I let her. I allowed myself to relish her warmth, her steadiness.

The world outside was crumbling, but at that moment, she was all that mattered. She was the only thing that felt real, the only thing that made me feel real.

Later that evening, I pushed everything down and pretended my worries didn't weigh ten thousand pounds. We all watched a movie together as a family, the kids bickering over the popcorn, the soft sound of their laughter filling the room.

I indulged in some chocolates with Sloane and tried to savor the simple pleasure of the moment, despite the dark clouds lingering at the edge of my mind.

I knew the kids sensed something was off after our brief conversation about the vandalized car, but they let it go.

For a little while, it felt as if things might be okay.

Maybe we could hold onto what little normalcy we had left ?

Sloane took my truck to exchange books with her sister Dawn; a quick late-night coffee run and a brief chance to socialize before her late shift. I knew Sloane was excited to get out and see her sister, even if she pretended it wasn't a big deal. It was an escape, even if only a small one.

The rain had just started when it happened. Fat, heavy drops slammed the windows like impatient fists. The house was dim. Quiet. I had finished setting up Violet’s tablet for her virtual class tomorrow morning when I heard the sound.

Glass shattering.

I was down the hall within seconds, adrenaline spiking. Rufus barked from the living room, deep and guttural; this wasn’t a fallen tree limb or debris from the storm.

It was Angie.