Page 3

I needed to steady my pulse before I walked through the door to my home. I couldn't barge in like some frothing madman, consumed by the knowledge of a horrific virus and the near societal collapse it would trigger.

Though, maybe I should? Hell, if nothing else it'll get me in the door.

Instead, I pulled into the driveway, practicing deep breathing exercises as my eyes caught the glint of Sloane's SUV parked in the garage. My heart sped up.

Well fuck, no amount of breathing exercises can help me right now.

I caught sight of other things I never noticed in my previous life.

My daughter's little hand-drawn monsters littering the pavement, their crayon colored chalk faded but somehow still bright, standing out against the cold, gray concrete.

Water guns lay discarded in the corner of the front yard, forgotten remnants of summer play, and a painful reminder of childhood innocence.

In that moment, something sharper hit me. I realized how much I had missed. I couldn't stop thinking about how much time I'd already wasted without my kids, and how little time I had left with to fix all I had broken.

The house loomed ahead, a modern two-story box of cold perfection, with its white brick and sharp black trim, the clean aesthetic a fucking mockery of everything that had crumbled in my wake. The place was a tribute to my once-pristine life, now marred by my own hand.

My only solace was that I'd been smart enough to buy the lots on one side, securing three and a half acres of land for whatever the hell I thought I could build. In my previous life, I had sold everything for pennies during the divorce; a transaction that even now made my stomach twist .

This time? I'd build something. Maybe I'd start a farm to fill the empty space with something that could grow? I was filled with purpose at the thought of watching my family experience joy in a safe space I would build for them; something I'd failed spectacularly at in my previous life.

Would that erase the trauma I inflicted on everyone and make things right? Maybe not... but it felt like the right thing, the only thing, to do.

The truck door slammed, louder than I intended, but enough to set off the little security camera above the garage door which blinked to life.

Its cold, mechanical eye tracked my every step as I moved toward the house.

Sweat slicked my palms, the roses trembling in my hands, and part of me mocked the pathetic gesture as I entered through the garage.

Inside, the house was still except for the soft pitter-patter of Rufus's paws on the hardwood, greeting me in his familiar way. His fluffy tail swayed low and slow, an old dog's awkward greeting, as he still recognized the man who had once called this place home.

"Hey buddy. I missed you."

Truth be told, I did miss him. Rufus had died in the middle of the divorce with Sloane while I had been locked down in Key West; partly for work, partly with Angie.

It took years for the weight of his loss to fully settle in.

I recalled the pain of not saying goodbye to such a good boy.

The Old Me had been so selfishly balls deep in Angie, that he was oblivious to the struggles of his own family.

I placed the roses on the counter and reached back down for Rufus, hugging him tight as I caught a brief look of his confused face; comical yet everything I needed in that moment. My good boy looked so old.

I was petting him when I heard her voice break the silence from behind me. "Levi, what are you doing here? "

For a moment, I couldn't move. My hand stilled on Rufus, who used this opportunity to lean in and lick my face. I took a few deep breaths, telling myself I shouldn't cry but I felt tears prick the corner of my eyes.

"Levi?"

Fuck, her voice sounded so sweet yet broken. The approaching guilt washed over me for everything she had to go through. Years of regret and longing swelled, pressing against my ribs as I breathed out through my nose in steady, practiced exhales.

You can do this, big guy.

Trying to steady myself, heart pounding in my throat, I stood and looked at her.

I'd spent hours memorizing her photo in the truck, but nothing could've prepared me for the jolt of seeing her in person.

She looked so young, so heartbreakingly beautiful.

Then and now, she still managed to steal the breath right out of me.

Sloane's red-rimmed hazel eyes stared back at me, her face pale from the little sleep I imagined she was getting as she tightened the robe around her curvaceous body, her tousled brown hair trickling down her face and frame.

Instantly I felt myself harden, balls tight and painful from the failed earlier tryst. Conflicting emotions of disgust and desire tore through me and I felt like a fucking animal. I wanted to punch myself.

"Hi, Sloane." I smiled at her, because I couldn't help it. I was so happy to see her and I'm sure I looked manic in that moment, drunk on the coursing adrenaline I had been battling earlier.

Sloane quirked a brow at me and took a step toward the island, completely ignoring the roses on the counter. "You aren't answering my question, Levi. Did you forget something while moving out? "

I shifted on my feet, feeling my cheeks heat at the low yet respectable blow she threw my way. "I actually came by to see you and the kids like you asked."

She was rummaging through the kitchen, looking for her coffee cup when I moved closer to the island to sit on one of the stools. Her icy voice cut me off before I could sit. "I never said you could stay Levi."

Sit. Stay. Speak. At this point, I would crawl to this woman if it meant I'd earn her forgiveness, but that wasn't what I needed to do right now.

Hand on the back of the chair, eyes downcast, I waited. Sweat pooled at the back of my neck as I felt her eyes on me, quietly sizing me up.

I know I look good.

Even with limited options, I'd managed to find a slim-fit black shirt that hugged my frame just right and a pair of dark navy jeans that fit like they were made for me.

I'd chosen the clothes on purpose, the ones I knew she used to love seeing me in and would make her say, "Mmm, yeah.

.. nothing like drywall dust and deltoids to get a girl going," whenever I flaunted my muscles like an idiot.

Being a builder had its perks, after all.

Now is probably not the best time to do that though.

I met her eyes, already narrowed and assessing, and spoke before I lost my nerve, "Sloane. Can we talk?"

The broken laugh that escaped her shattered something inside me, a sound that felt like a crack in the earth beneath my feet.

Bad start. Abort. Abort.

She filled her cup with coffee, her hands steady but her eyes hollow. "Talk?" She scoffed, the word sour in her mouth. "What the hell is there left to talk about, Levi?"

Well fuck, here goes. "I want to get back together. "

I knew the words were a death sentence as soon as I said them. I'd hardly finished the sentence before the coffee mug slipped from her hand and shattered on the floor, the sound of it exploding the silence like a gunshot. Hot coffee and ceramic shards flew everywhere.

“Fuck Sloane. Are you okay?” I rushed towards her.

She stepped back. Her breath caught as her face contorted with a flash of pain so raw I felt it tearing through me. She opened her mouth to speak, but no words came; only the silence of hurt and loss. Fuck. I had done this to her.

I took a tentative step away, as if backing up from a wounded animal, and collapsed onto the stool. My hands shook as I gripped the edge of the counter. My next words spilled out of me. "I'm sorry, Sloane. I'm so fucking sorry..." Hollow words falling out of a broken shell.

Her face twisted, the tears in her eyes shimmering but they didn't fall. Instead, fury replaced the hurt, blackening her eyes and even as the anger colored her face, I couldn't stop myself from admiring her like a lovesick fool.

Her voice broke me from my trance. "Don't you dare apologize to me now, Levi," she spat, each word sharp. "Not after everything you've done. Not after the lies, the fucking betrayal, the disrespect, everything you've dragged me through these last few days. You think a sorry can fix any of that?"

She was trembling now, her voice breaking between anger and agony, but she didn't stop.

Her eyes never left me as she pulled from the deep abyss of her hurt.

"You destroyed me, and now you want to come back like nothing ever happened?

You don't get to walk back into my life like that.

Not when you're the one who fucked it all up. "

Tears streamed down her face and I felt my heart splinter. Instinctively, I reached for her, my hand only brushing air. "I want to- "

"It's always you, you, you, Levi!" Her voice rose, boiling over like a storm that had been waiting to break, "What about what I want?

" She was unraveling in front of me, the woman I adored and cherished, spiraling into a whirlwind of anger and pain because of my choices.

.. and nothing I said could help her hurt.

"Sloane, I'm begging you."

Her breathing was ragged, her chest heaving with the weight of it all as she seethed. "I don't give a fuck if you crawl on your hands and knees begging me to take you back, Levi."

Each word stabbed me in the gut, every syllable cutting deeper.

And yet, somewhere in the back of my twisted, traitorous brain, I imagined myself in a collar, on a leash. Because, apparently, pain only made me want her more.

"Do you have any idea what I've had to deal with?

The tears? The anger from the kids? I've had to fucking protect them from this mess you created, while you.

.." Her voice faltered, but the rage was still there burning in her eyes.

"While you fucked around like it was some game with that dipshit gym rat. "

I couldn't speak. Couldn't find the words to defend myself, because what was left to say? She was right, and the weight of her fury crushed me.

Despite all this, seeing her in this little ball of rage and hearing her rip into me drove me wild with desire. I started to wonder if I'd had a kink for degradation that I'd never known about, or if it was just her presence stoking that heat within me.

Before I could respond, the sound of car doors slamming outside cut through the tension, jolting us both.

Sloane froze, panic flickering across her tear-streaked face.

Her eyes darted toward the door leading to the mudroom, and before she could say anything, I moved quickly from the stool, my limbs stiff with the need to fix something, anything.

I reached for her then, gently pulling her toward me, but she flinched away, her eyes burning with contempt.

"Levi... why ?"

I grimaced, a bitter knot forming in my throat. "Sloane, we need to talk. I promise I'm hearing you." Years of therapy kicked in as I tried to salvage something. "I'll handle the kids. Go wash your face. Get dressed. You need a minute."

She shook her head, disbelief seeping into every inch of her. "I can't," she hissed. "You have no patience for them. You never have." My grip on her tightened as she tried to pull away. "And don't tell me what I need. You can't waltz in here looking good and expect me to fawn over your every word."

So she had checked me out. A small cheer went off as I changed tactics.

I grasped her hand gently, almost pleading with my eyes as desperation crept into my voice. "I'm not trying to tell you anything but do you want the kids to see us like this? Sloane, I need you to be logical, for a second."

I took a chance, my face a desperate plea of puppy dog eyes despite the rising fear that she might kick me in the balls or rip my face off. Both of which might make me come at this point from a sadistic game of edging I seemed to be playing with myself indiscriminately. Fuck who knows.

Her eyes bore into mine as my truth filled the space between us.

I pushed a little more, ignoring the warmth of her body and the smell of her titillating my senses.

"I'll have patience, Sloane. I promise. For them.

For you. For all of it." I kissed her fingertips, my chest tightening with each soft touch.

She recoiled from me then, her body stiffening as she pulled out of reach. Violet and Liam's voices were closer.

I nodded towards our room. "Please Sloane. I am begging now. I'll even bark if you need me too."

Those words hung between us. She looked away towards where the kids were set to appear and I knew she was calculating in her head if this was a smart thing to do despite how desperately I needed her to trust me. Please Sloane .

Her decision was quick, a side-eyed glance to me as she nodded once. I watched the weight of everything settling onto her shoulders and without another word, she walked away.

The mud room door clicked and I turned to see my daughter…

The world froze, my lungs emptied, and tears blurred my vision. Violet… in my previous life, I hadn't seen her in nearly eleven years. Could I really do this? Was I ready to face one of my biggest failures from my previous life?

Oh, my baby girl, Violet .