Page 5 of One Kiss in the Shadows (Singular Sensation #12)

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M ay 24, 1819

Nathaniel huffed when his valet continued to work at twisting the length of white silk of the cravat into an elaborate display. “Will you be quite done soon?”

“One can’t rush perfection.” Theodore Barnes lifted a blond eyebrow. “You are a duke, which means you need to look put together each time you step out of this suite.”

“There is no such thing as perfection, and if there was, it certainly wouldn’t pertain to anything about me.” He had been broken for a long time, and for an equally long time, he’d accepted that about himself. “However, please, for the love of God, either finish with the cravat or let me do it.”

Barnes snorted. “I am trying to give you the best advantage when you appear before your new bride.” He met Nathaniel’s gaze. “I assume you’ll spend time with her today where you avoided her all of yesterday?”

“Do shut up, Barnes. That couldn’t be helped.” Did he feel guilty about that? Yes and no, but it hadn’t been a lie that life had suddenly become complicated and busy since he’d wed Mallory two days ago.

After the wedding breakfast, where she was introduced to a few of the rogues and their wives, he and she were left suddenly alone together by early afternoon. Not knowing what else to do, he’d given her a tour of the townhouse and had the staff meet her, telling them all that she was the new Duchess of Strathfield. The housekeeper had been beyond pleased, and since Mallory had been in residence for two days prior to the wedding, she was then moved to the duchess suite, which was located at the opposite end of the corridor on the third level from his.

Once his wife had settled into her rooms, he’d left her to make appointments for the following day. It was good that she had her own space where she could shut herself away if the new life became too much, and she deserved that as well. By the time he came to check on her around the dinner hour, he’d found her in a deep sleep, so he’d left her to it. Yes, it had been his wedding night, but he meant what he’d promised her; theirs was a union in name only. If that was meant to change, she would need to be the one who initiated that. The poor thing was exhausted, and he refused to force himself on a woman, regardless of if he was married to her.

Then yesterday, while Mallory had been inundated by a modiste in fittings and planning, his mind reeled over the worry and responsibility of taking care of a wife. It was a weighty subject, indeed. He’d summoned his man-of-affairs as well as his solicitor to make the necessary legal changes, and had been quite satisfied with what he would leave Mallory with should something untoward happen to him. After the life she’d already lived, she deserved to be left a wealthy, pampered widow.

His valet huffed as he finished with the cravat. “Yet you didn’t answer the question.”

“If you must know, yes, I do plan on spending some time with Her Grace today.” Especially during this lull between bouts of danger, he might as well come to know her better. Though theirs was naught but a marriage of convenience, which took some of the pressure from him, he oddly looked forward to having a companion, someone to talk with.

Did she enjoy reading, painting, writing? What made her laugh or cry? What was one of her favorite foods? Did she aspire to anything in her life? Beyond that, he was curious about her. She’d seemed ill-at-ease during the nuptial ceremony, but he couldn’t help but wonder what had been done to her in that asylum.

“That is all to the good, Your Grace.” The valet nodded as he stepped away in order to fetch a jacket of bottle-green superfine. “I have been with you for years, and it will only benefit you to have a wife.”

“Why? I felt I was rubbing along quite nicely by myself.” Except, he rather thought it wasn’t good for a man to go through life alone.

Barnes’ expression proclaimed him an idiot. “If you are fortunate enough to find someone—regardless of how you were matched—then consider it fate’s way of saying you needed someone in your life. And if your bride has a history, then all the better.”

Nathaniel grunted. “Do you know who she is?” Truly, there’d been no time to explain to his friends at the club the decision to wed her, but he inherently knew they would understand... or rather Edenthorpe would. And if she was a traitor? Well, she would be dealt with accordingly.

“I have heard a few things.” He held up the jacket while Nathaniel shoved his arms into the sleeves. “Do you believe her story is genuine?”

He shrugged, which helped him settle the garment more comfortably over his shoulders. “I have no reason not to, but I hate to see anyone suffer or be kept a prisoner for no logical reason.”

“Right, so every time you come upon someone like that, you marry them?” Sarcasm threaded through the cheeky inquiry. “There must have been something compelling about this one to lead to marriage.”

Nathaniel glowered. “I am not going to dignify that with a response.” He accepted a pair of ivory kid gloves from the valet, who smirked. “Now, if you don’t mind, I am going to find my wife and ask her to share a drive with me.”

Barnes grinned. “May you find what it is you seek, Your Grace.”

The trouble with that was he didn’t quite know what it was that he wanted.

“T hank you for joining me,” he said from the bench of his carriage beside Mallory. “There is much happening just now to prevent our taking a wedding trip, but I did want to come to know you better all the same. And who doesn’t enjoy a stroll in Hyde Park?”

“Considering I have never been to Hyde Park, I’m looking forward to it... even if our union is not real,” she said in a soft voice from the left side of him.

He manipulated the ribbons as he hit a small pocket of traffic at one of the arches that led into Hyde Park. “Even still. We are wed just the same.”

“Are you concerned that you’ve made a mistake?”

Silence stretched between them while he maneuvered the vehicle to one side where others were parked. “No. I am still of a mind that this was exactly what we both need.”

“Ah.” She remained quiet, watched him as he jumped from his perch then came around to her side of the open carriage. When he assisted her down from the bench, her body brushed lightly against his, which sent startling awareness tingling over his skin. Surprise filled her eyes; had she felt it too? “Truth to tell, I am not sure what I need.” A hint of vulnerability went over her face. “Does that make me appear mad to you?”

“Of course not.” He gave the reins to a young man then tossed him a coin. “Thank you,” he told the youth. Then he took her hand and threaded it through his crooked arm. “It means you haven’t experienced all in life that you should have to be at this age, so I feel we should try to rectify that.” His ire against Lady Stover reached another level for her abandonment and treatment of her daughter.

“Meaning what?” There was a certain wariness in her tone as she glanced at him from around the shallow brim of her bonnet.

“Meaning that I am going to give you whatever you want in this world. Dancing, clothing, anything in society you can imagine, what have you.” Walking with her on his arm while relying on his cane was a difficult prospect that required far too much concentration. “A nearly twenty-six-year-old woman should be immersed in experiences, have something to look forward to.”

“Sadly, I don’t even know enough to realize what I’ve been deprived of.”

He nodded. “I understand, but you’re not alone any longer.” For long moments, companionable silence brewed between them. “When you were trapped in the asylum, how much gossip or news did you have from the outside world?”

“That largely depended on who I was with. Visitors were told they were allowed, but they were heavily vetted, which meant some didn’t meet the requirements. But there was still gossip from the maids or footmen in passing.” Some of the spirit she’d shown upon first meeting had fled. Had it been an act or a lie?

A trace of cold disappointment went through his chest, for he’d rather enjoyed that spark of life she’d shown before. Or perhaps the change was due to the fact that she was merely overwhelmed with everything she’d faced since the rescue.

Though it mattered not. There was time enough for everything.

The stroll along the gravel bridle path was pleasant enough, and rays of sunlight filtered through the leaves of the trees. They were both content to walk in silence. In the distance, shrieks and laughter from children on outings with governesses drifted to his ears. Birds played in the boughs over their heads and the songs they chirped added to the pastoral backdrop.

Before he could introduce another topic of discussion, something large whizzed through the air. It hit the side of his head, knocking off his hat.

“What the hell?” Looking about on the ground, he realized it was a rock the size of his palm, but when he glanced about for the attacker, there was no one there.

Another rock was hurtled, and this one grazed Mallory’s arm. She gave a startled scream and clutched more tightly to his arm.

When a third rock came in quick succession, Nathaniel didn’t think; he just acted. “Down, quickly!” He shoved his wife off the path then covered her body with his on the ground. “Do you still have the dagger on your thigh?”

“Yes. I never go anywhere without it.” Fear was all too evident in her voice.

“Good. Use it if you must, but stay here. I’m going after the bastard who dared to issue an attack on us.”

She looked over her shoulder at him with rounded eyes. “You’re leaving me alone?”

“Just for a moment.”

“But—”

“Don’t argue with me, Mallory.” If his command was harsher than he’d intended, he couldn’t help it. Time was of the essence. In a low voice, he said, “You’re an intelligent young woman. If someone comes near, find a branch and beat the hell out of them, or feel free to stab them at will with your blade. No one attacks a duke or duchess without reaping some repercussion.”

With a grunt, he lifted off her body then regained the path. As quickly as he could with the old war injury and his cane, Nathaniel moved toward the direction from which the rocks had come. Though there were trees and shrubbery and other foliage all around, there was no sign that anyone had passed through. Uttering a curse, he continued to investigate. Eventually, he found one boot imprint in the dirt about five feet away. There was also another rock in the dirt not far from the print. The attacker must have retreated up the gravel bridle path, which wouldn’t have left prints, or else he had a horse nearby for a quick getaway.

“Well, fuck.” Who was it? One of Lady Stover’s goons or a completely different threat? Looking back and forth, there was no sign of either equine or human. What was more, only the sounds of the forest met his ears. With a sense of urgency pressing in on him, Nathaniel returned to the spot where he’d left Mallory. She hadn’t moved far, and yet she’d also not drawn her blade. While that was reassuring, it was also troubling. “Are you well?”

She shrugged. “As well as can be expected.”

“Right.” His chest was uncomfortably tight as he helped his wife to her feet. “Did you see anyone while I was gone?”

“There was no one. Are you hurt?”

“Slight pain in the head from that first rock, but otherwise, I am well. You?”

“The rock didn’t manage to break my skin, thanks to the spencer.”

Nathaniel nodded. “Come. We’re too vulnerable here. We’ll return to the carriage.”

As they retraced their steps along the path, she blew out a breath. “Was this attack because of me?”

“It is difficult to tell.” He didn’t wish to frighten her, but he couldn’t ignore the fact that her mother was still causing havoc. “It could be because I’m in the Rogue’s Arcade. Or for something entirely unrelated.”

“Don’t placate me, Nathaniel.” There was a waspish tone to her voice that hearkened back to the spirit he’d first encountered from her. “You and I both know who ordered the attack.”

“Yes, but don’t speak of it here.” By the time they reached the arch, the muscles in his left thigh as well as his knee were screaming out for a surcease of movement. When the young man he’d given the reins to glanced at him in surprise, he growled out a thank you as he flipped a coin to the lad. “We have realized our schedule doesn’t allow for a long walk.” Without ceremony, he handed her up into the vehicle.

Had he already failed her and the promise he’d made to keep her safe? Clearly, he was out of practice in having someone close to him.

Once he’d climbed onto the bench beside her, he took up the reins and urged the horse around to go out of Hyde Park.

“We shall return to finish our stroll, but not without me carrying a pistol.” He’d known an attack would occur on him or Mallory, yet he hadn’t known it would be so soon. “If you are interested, we will drive around the park then meander through Mayfair before going home.” Because he needed time to calm himself and put his mind back into a serene place, for the unexpected attack had brought him perilously close to falling into a day terror.

And he didn’t wish to show that side of himself in front of her right now.

“That sounds lovely, actually.” When she gave him a tremulous smile, his world skipped a beat, for it transformed her face. “I am enjoying driving about.”

“I like it as well. Sometimes, my mind drifts off and I don’t remember how I arrived at a destination when I’m there.” What the devil should he talk to her about? It had been ages since he’d spent time with a woman for anything other than a bit of slap and tickle. “Uh, do you wish to talk about what just happened?”

“I do not.” She clenched her gloved fingers in her lap.

“Fair enough.” Nathaniel blew out a breath. “Do you want to talk about your time in the asylum?”

“Absolutely not right now.”

This wasn’t going well. Before he could speak, she asked a question of her own.

“Do you want to talk about your time in the military?”

“Hell, no.”

Mallory nodded, but the faint grin had returned. “Then we’re at an impasse.”

“Perhaps.” He couldn’t help but frown. Was this how the whole of their marriage would go? It would make for painfully long years. “Let’s just dive into the heart of the matter. Would your mother come after you once she determined you’d escaped?”

“She might, especially if gossip reached her ears of our marriage. I would imagine knowing I’m wed to a duke, and a member of the Rogue’s Arcade, would have incensed her.”

Damn, what a coil. “I’m sorry. Sometimes, the people closest to us who should have loved us and protected us prove they are naught but shitty vessels for even shittier souls.” Gathering the reins in his right hand, he took one of hers with his left, hoping she wouldn’t mind the tactile feeling of another human. “You have my promise that what happened today won’t occur again. I will bring everyone involved to justice.”

For long moments, she held his gaze before she slowly curled her fingers around his hand. “I don’t know enough about you to believe that, but you have been honorable thus far, so you no doubt speak the truth.” Then her chin trembled. “Not many men would have done what you did, for it is quite a risk.”

His frown deepened. “Are you suffering from reaction?”

“I don’t know.” To his horror, her eyes filled with tears. What should he do? He had no experience around emotional women outside of holding his friends’ wives when they were overcome. “I suppose I’m at sixes and sevens. Four days ago, my life was in a hopeless spiral. Now I’m married to a duke and being put into society where I feel as if I haven’t a clue how to act, what to talk about, what has been going on in the world let alone England.” She visibly struggled to compose herself. “I can go on and on, but I feel as if I’ll disappoint you more sooner than later.”

Well, fuck.

“Don’t say that. It isn’t your fault you’ve been shut away from the world. And I certainly won’t put any such expectations on your shoulders.”

“I appreciate that.” Yet a few tears fell to her pale cheeks all the same. “All is not lost, for I was given tutors once a week while in the asylum. No doubt my mother didn’t want a dumb daughter as well as a mad one.”

“Except there is nothing wrong with your mind.”

“We would like to hope. At least I can read and write. Otherwise, you would eventually be embarrassed by having an idiot for a wife, although that eventuality might not be far off.” After that statement, she began to cry in earnest.

What was he to do about that?

Not knowing, Nathaniel guided his horse over to the side of the street. They were still on Rotten Row, so parking beneath the canopy of tree branches provided a modicum of shade, and it was too early for the fashionable hour, so they wouldn’t be readily disturbed. While the horse was happy enough to graze from the grass at the side of the hardpacked earth, he gathered his wife gently into his arms. It had been an age since he’d held a woman thusly, for the last time he’d been with one, it was for carnal purposes only, wherein he’d left not long afterward.

But now, with the warmth of having Mallory cradled against him with her palms resting on his chest and her softly crying in shame or perhaps emotions from not being stuck in the asylum any longer, he couldn’t help but think it was rather a pleasant experience.

If he looked at recent events from her viewpoint, the life she’d been thrust into with him was no doubt overwhelming, and with no proper training or education, being a duchess and sitting so high up in society must seem like an insurmountable task. To say nothing of trauma she held that she hadn’t told him about.

How could he help ease her into those new responsibilities when she’d had no experience in such since she’d been locked away at the age of fifteen? He well remembered being deep inside the darkness of his thoughts where he didn’t think he could ever amount to anything. Hell, it still happened, for he wasn’t a whole man nor did he have a whole mind, both due to the effects of the war. And he remembered how difficult it was to climb out of that mental pit without having anyone to rely on. He had the rogues; she had no one.

Except me. The responsibility was driven home to him in that moment. With the impetuous decision he’d made to marry her, he needed to follow through and prove to her that he was indeed honorable. She has no one on her side, and even now is being hunted by her demented mother.

“Mally, look at me.” With a finger curled beneath her chin, he encouraged her head up until their gazes met. “I will be by your side every step of the way. You are not alone, and neither will I abandon you.” Briefly, he paused as he thought over his next words. “Regardless of what our marriage is or whatever path we will follow, I’ll not forsake you. I made you a promise; I’m a man of my word.”

“Thank you. I appreciate that. It means much to me.” For long moments, she cried in his arms, and oddly, Nathaniel was far too content to hold her. In those seconds, he felt closer to her than he had when they’d spoken vows to each other. Then she took a shuddering breath and let it ease out. Finally, she nodded. When she once more raised her gaze to his, determination reflected there. “I still want revenge on my mother. Any parent who does such a thing to their own child—their own flesh and blood—deserves whatever comes their way.”

“Oh, I quite agree.” He couldn’t help but chuckle. “And I will make certain you have that revenge.” He was quiet for long moments. “Do you wish for me to act as a tutor of sorts and teach you the highlights of things you should know regarding society or that might come up in polite conversation?” That should be an easy enough task and would help keep his mind occupied and the nightmares at bay.

Surprise filled the blue depths of her eyes. “You would do that for me?”

“Of course. I’m not a monster, even if I am a duke.”

“Oh.” She gave him a tremulous smile, and once more, his world tilted about him. “My mother is a monster. You, I suspect, are a white knight.”

Some of his humor faded. He was certainly not that, but he appreciated her faith in him. “Let’s go home and order tea. I suspect we have much to discuss.”