Page 18 of One Kiss in the Shadows (Singular Sensation #12)

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J une 5, 1819

Hamilton House

Berkley Square

Mayfair, London

It had been three days since that horrific night in the graveyard where Nathaniel’s wife had been buried alive, three days since the building that housed the Rogue’s Arcade had been destroyed, three days since his amazing wife had delivered the fatal shot that eventually killed her mother.

The day following, they had both spent recuperating in bed. In fact, Mallory had more or less demanded that she be wherever he was. For some reason, she didn’t want him out of her sight. Not that he could blame her, for he felt the same about her. What she must have experienced inside that coffin beneath the ground. It hadn’t happened to him, but he rather thought he might have nightmares about it anyway.

That day, they’d both dozed and had been treated to baths and had their wounds treated with the housekeeper’s healing salve, but neither of them had felt like talking about what truly mattered.

The following day saw visits from Bow Street principal officers as well as a couple of agents from the Home Office, which still managed to boggle his mind. After that, a solicitor, who represented the Regent of all people, came to call, demanding answers as to why two members of high society and very visible supporters of his circle were now dead in Bow Street’s morgue.

Nathaniel along with his man-of-affairs as well as the Duke of Edenthorpe took the meetings in stride and with a level of calm and patience he never thought was possible. They gave statements as to the criminal organization that Lady Stover had run along with the Marquess of Hallerston, had told stories about jewel thefts, murders, intimidation, and all the other things that had been dealt from the countess’ hand over the past two or three years. Finally, after hours of interrogation, everyone seemed satisfied with the explanations as well as the pages upon pages of notes exchanged.

On the second day, Nathaniel slept as if he’d been dead. From all accounts, so did Mallory, though she’d done it from her own bed. They’d met briefly in the dining room for dinner, but while she was very much a watering pot, he gave her the space to honor her feelings and become accustomed to all that had occurred.

On the third day, she’d kept to her suite, and he’d stayed busy when some of his club members had come to call and offer congratulations or condolences, depending. Everyone held a mixture of emotions, but the greatest of all was relief. Now the men who’d fled London could return and the men who’d sent their families away could recall them. Also, there was the happy news that Twinsfield’s wife had been delivered safely of a son, who though he’d arrived a couple of weeks early, was healthy and happy and who possessed two chubby cheeks. Once his friends had left that day, Nathaniel had sat at his desk in the study and sobbed, for he was so grateful for everything he had in his life, and that the carnage of that horrible night hadn’t been worse.

But now, since he’d had time to marshal his thoughts and think over exactly what he wanted from life and his marriage, he wanted to talk with his wife, say the things that were already etched upon his heart, for time was short and he didn’t know if he would have another chance to cheat death. He’d already done that twice in his life.

Eventually, he located her in the drawing room, for of course she was there. Dinner had come and gone. Neither of them had been particularly hungry and had requested trays to be brought up later, but she always enjoyed spending the evenings in the drawing room where they had passed a handful of happy nights.

Hopefully with more to come.

“Mallory?” As he came further into the room, his gaze went directly to her, for she sat curled up on a low sofa with a book on her lap and her cat stretched against her legs. She must have been intensely engrossed in the story, for she gasped when she glanced up and focused on him.

“Nathaniel. I didn’t hear you come in.” There was a certain longing in her blue eyes, and as he came closer, the irises darkened slightly. “Are you well?”

“That largely depends on the day, but for now, I am... well enough.”

“Ah. I am glad for that.” She wore a gown of peacock green, the same one he’d seen her in early on in their marriage, and damn, she was the most beautiful woman in that color. It made her eyes glow and gave her skin new life, even if portions of her arms and face were decorated with scrapes, scratches, and bruises. Her light brown tresses were pinned to the back of her head in a riot of curls and a messy knot. Around her neck she wore the jewelry he’d given her, and those sapphires sparkled in the low illumination from the few candles lit nearby.

Dear God, I love her.

“I haven’t been alone with you in an age after everything that happened, and I would very much like to talk with you, if you’ll have me.”

“Of course I will.” The delicate tendons of her throat worked with a hard swallow. “I apologize for being so absent. There has been much for me to square with and think over. I’m afraid I’m still at sixes and sevens because of it.”

“That’s understandable, and there is no need for apologies.”

“All right.” After laying aside the book, she smiled at him, and his world tilted and he felt as he if were tumbling down a rather large hill. “You look like a dog’s breakfast. Are you still in pain?”

“Much better, but it’s nothing I haven’t gone through before.” Though his face still sported bruises in varying colors and after a surgeon had seen him, it was declared that he’d suffered a couple of fractured ribs from where Lady Stover had rushed at him, and thus was bound with bandages for a few weeks. The muscles in his left thigh and hip still ached, but then, they always did. “You are physically healing, yes?”

“Yes. My mind, though, will require much more time.” She glanced toward the windows, that had been thrown open to catch the slight summer breeze. Outside, the sounds of the Mayfair night provided another layer of comfort. “Did you, ah, find the answers you sought during those meetings over the past couple of days?”

“I did. It’s been a comfort to have the rogues check in.” Needing to be close to her, Nathaniel joined her on the sofa with the book between them. “Everything happened so quickly I didn’t have time to ponder the implications of not having a club to attend any longer.”

“I rather think a club is more its members than a physical place. You can always rent a townhouse for a bit until new real estate is found.” Then apprehension jumped into her expressive, lake-blue eyes. “Are you sending me away? Going to tell me you don’t wish to be married to me any longer?”

How could she think that? “No. Nothing like that.” He shook his head. “I’ve thought over my next words a million times over, and yet I still find myself tongue-tied.” Then he sighed. “I’m not one for flowery words or poetic speeches.”

“That sort of skill isn’t needed in this instance, for unless I miss my guess, you and I are of the same accord.”

“Oh?”

She nodded. “It’s quite simple, really. After everything, I don’t want to lose you, Strathfield. More than that, I long to by your side for the rest of my life.” She frowned, and he nearly lost his nerve at that pout of her kissable lips. “Am I correct?”

How much did he adore her? “Damn, I’m already cocking it up.”

Mallory snickered. “You are, but as you said, you aren’t one for words.”

“Unless they will really matter.” With a shaking hand, he moved the book from the sofa to a table nearby then scooted closer to her. Immediately, the faint scent of lavender wafted to his nose. “I have realized something since marrying you. I am nothing, Mallory, and a bit broken.” As difficult as it was for him to say, it was the truth and there was no hiding it. “In mind, spirit, and body.”

“Oh, Nathaniel.” She took his hand in hers. “We are both broken, I think, and what’s more, in order to survive this life, I believe we all must have some level of that within us.” She squeezed his hand. “Besides, as I have had cause to know over the past ten years, there is no such thing as perfection.” A blush stained her cheeks, but her eyes gleamed like polished gems. “But I have also had cause to discover that you are perfect. For me.”

“Ah.” What did one say to that? So many emotions welled in his chest that his first instinct was to fight them, keep them tamped down so she wouldn’t see. However, as he had learned since marrying her, emotions are proof that a man had lived his life—good or bad. “I wanted more for you, for our future.”

“More than what? The thought of you and me together until death parts us?” One of her finely arched eyebrows went up in challenge.

“I...” Shock slammed into his chest. The fact she only wanted that humbled the hell out of him. “I don’t know what to say.” Even now, his mind refused to form words, and to his horror, moisture welled in his eyes. “It’s well past time to tell you what’s been on my heart since the night of the storm.”

“Oh?”

He nodded. “Let’s not deny it. I love you.”

“You do?”

“I do, and I think I will love you to the end of time. No matter how many lifetimes I should live, there will always be you in them in some capacity and me loving you, me protecting you, me rescuing you.” He paused to organize his thoughts. No, there was no going back. This was what he wanted. She was who he wanted—needed. “You are my life, Mallory. Or rather, you’ve given it back to me. Taught me that I am still worthy... of everything.” Peering deep into those blue eyes he would see forever in his dreams, there was no place he would rather be. “That’s all.”

“Oh, Nathaniel. That was the most romantic speech I’ve ever heard. I rather think you could take on the poets I so admire.” Tears filled her eyes, which shone with such love that he was afraid he might be lost in them, but then, there were worse things. “When I thought I would die in that horrid coffin, my only regret was that I wouldn’t be able to see you one last time, and tell you what I have only just discovered for myself.” She brought his fingers to her lips, kissed them. “I love you , not the things or the status or the position you’ve given me. Your past, my past, what we’ve both done doesn’t matter, because I love you , Nathaniel. Whole or not, you are worthy of that and much more.” When she brushed at the moisture on her cheeks, he handed her his handkerchief.

She loves me.

His chest was tight and his heart squeezed so hard it almost pained him. “I don’t take that lightly, and I will forever strive to be worthy of your trust, your heart.”

“You already are.” When he gawked, she nodded with such enthusiasm that a lock of her hair slipped to her shoulder from its pins. “Promise me that we will travel somewhere... anywhere, and that we won’t waste this second chance at life we’ve been given.” Then she looked at him with those bright, gorgeous eyes, and he could deny her nothing.

“I will spend the rest of my life doing anything you desire.” And he fully believed it. “However, I’m sorry your parents are dead. No matter what kind of people they both were, that must hit you hard.”

She shrugged, then giggled when Peri stood with an outraged meow because they were sitting too close. Then the cat hopped to the floor. “I can’t imagine life without you. Thank you for rescuing me, marrying me, giving me a future.”

“You did the same for me.” Funny how life worked. “Shall I show you the depths of my regard, then?”

Her grin was this side of wicked. “I hoped you would.” She winked. “In fact, I’m going to insist upon it, Your Grace.”

“Ah, sweeting.” A shiver of need went up his spine, and his heart constricted. She was truly his and always would be. “Just be mindful of the ribs, and I’ll try not to favor the thigh so hard.” Then he took her into his arms and claimed her lips with his. Damn, but she tasted like innocence and sin, as she had during that first kiss in the shadows, and it fired his desire. “I want you, right here, right now.”

“I don’t believe I’ve bid you nay, Strathfield.”

Was there any wonder why he adored her? She was his perfect match, and he suspected she would always lead him on a merry chase, and he would gladly follow. “Very well.” Nathaniel grinned as need tightened his shaft. Then, because he wished for more contact than a mere string of kisses afforded, he tugged her onto his lap, and encouraged her to straddle his hips. “I am the most fortunate man in England, but there is one thing I must know.”

“Oh?” Already, Mallory worked at the knot of his cravat.

“Indeed.” He pressed a line of feather-weighted kisses beneath her jaw. “Will you remain married to me, sweeting? We wed for a set of specific reasons. All of which have been met, so now, will you remain married to me because I love you desperately?”

“Are you sure?” One of her eyebrows went up in challenge.

“I am.” Never had he been more certain. He drew his hands up her sides to cup her breasts and grinned when she shivered. The mounds of flesh were the perfect size to fit into his palms.

“Then my answer is yes.” Her kiss-swollen lips curved into a smile. “I love you quite desperately back, and I can’t wait to see where life will take us next.”

“As do I.” For long moments, he nipped and nibbled the skin of her throat, beneath her jaw, under her ear, followed the scooped line of her bodice before she stirred restlessly on his lap.

“So many clothes,” she whispered and finally removed the cravat from his person. His collar followed. “I need to see you, Strathfield.”

“In a moment.” Not able to resist her charming order, Nathaniel eased her bodice down, and as soon as her beautiful breasts came free of the fabric, he kneaded them, fondled them.

“Ooh, I adore this.” A shiver racked her shoulders. “Make me fly.”

“Now that I can guarantee.” He encouraged her onto her knees so he could better suck a pebbled nipple into his mouth. A squeal came from her as she snaked a hand to his nape. “Never think you aren’t mine or that I would never have chosen you if given a choice.” Damn, he’d never thought to feel so possessive, but he was with her, and he would protect her with his life. “It’s always been you, I think.”

“Show me that I have married wisely,” she whispered as her back arched and she dug the fingertips of one hand into his shoulder while encouraging him closer with the fingers at his nape. “Oh!” A moan followed when he rolled the other tempting rosy bud. “More.”

It was so damned erotic when she begged. “Managing baggage.”

“Too late to change now.” When she wriggled on his lap, his shaft tightened to the point of pain.

“I don’t ever want you to change. You amaze me every day.” Then he spent the next several minutes taunting and teasing Mallory’s breasts, reacquainting himself with the feel of those pebbled tips against his tongue, the scent of her, the satin of her skin. There was so much he didn’t know about her, but a lifetime ahead to discover. When her breathing hitched and she pressed kisses to the side of his neck, he took back control, found her lips with his, and set out to kiss her senseless.

There was nothing he enjoyed more than having her in his arms.

The warmth of her in his hands, on his lap, the faint sounds of pleasure she made, the way her fingers curled into the hair at his nape, the elusive scent of lavender all worked to hurtle him close to the edge. This one woman had managed to turn his world upside down and make him into a man who adored having a wife.

“Mmm, yes.” She pressed a line of tiny kisses to the underside of his jaw, and every time she moved, his engorged shaft grew and pulsed. “I want all of you.” She parted the placket of his shirt and pressed her lips to the hollow of his throat. “Love me. It’s all I have ever wanted.” Tears filled her eyes. “That’s it.”

The urgency in her whisper stoked the fires already burning through his blood. “I will endeavor to do that every damned day.” He spent the next several seconds kissing and licking her neck, the slope of her shoulder, exploring the curves of her breasts until she quivered with need.

“Good.” Mallory tugged the front shirttails from his breeches, and when she put her hands on his bare skin, he hissed from the contrast of feelings suddenly coursing over him. “I want to see you, taste you, learn your secrets. In fact, I want to do so many things with you, share them with you, finally enjoy being a wife without fear.”

“We have time enough for all of that.” Christ, he was moments away from exploding, but he wanted to prolong the foreplay, to feel her satiny skin against his. For a distraction, he burrowed a hand beneath her skirting. When she wriggled her hips, he continued his exploration until his fingers furrowed into the curls hiding the swollen bud at her center.

“Oh, this makes me feel so...” Her eyes briefly closed, and she moistened her lips, apparently not caring to finish the statement.

With a groan, Nathaniel once more claimed her lips for the sheer joy of kissing her. With his free hand, he plucked a few pins from her hair and sighed as the mass tumbled down about her shoulders and back. Once he parted her flesh, he strummed his fingers along that tiny button, and as she gyrated her hips against his hand, he continued to kiss her, taking every sound of pleasure into himself, gathering them all as if they were the finest jewels. In her he’d found the most valuable of all the world’s treasures, and he’d be damned if he let anyone take her from him.

“I want to see you go over that edge,” he whispered against the delicate shell of her ear. “Show me that I am exactly who you want.”

“Oh, oh...” When Mallory hit release, it was the most gorgeous thing he’d ever seen. She threw back her head and arched her spine while grinding her hips into his. While she was still lost to bliss, he played with her nipples until he’d brought her to the brink once more. “Nathaniel!” He didn’t care that the shout was quite loud or that the drawing room doors were still open, for she was more than aroused; his fingers glided through that slickness between her thighs.

Damn but I want to taste her.

He nibbled the side of her neck. “I want you laid out on my bed so that I can kiss every centimeter of your luscious body.”

“Later tonight,” she countered, her dulcet tones breathless. “I adore it when we couple twice before dawn.”

“Absolutely.” When he withdrew his hand from between her thighs, she protested.

“No!” Mallory’s hands were at his frontfalls, pulling, yanking the buttons from their holes. “Finish me, Strathfield. This longing is too much.” The petulant annoyance in her voice tugged a grin from him.

“I adore your enthusiasm.” It made him feel years younger and more virile. “Let me.” He batted her hand away to complete the task of freeing his hardened shaft.

Her eyes winked with wicked promise. “Make me scream.”

Oh, God. Nathaniel groaned. “Haven’t I already?” There was every possibility he wouldn’t survive his first year of marriage if they kept up this pace. But it was infinitely better than dying by knife blade or a ball from a pistol.

“Semantics.” She nipped at his chin, pressed tiny kisses to his cheeks, his forehead, the side of his neck then finally claimed his lips, he was lost.

It was amazing how rapidly he’d fallen down that slippery slope and still did, continually going tip over tail in a relationship that had caught him by surprise.

“I love you.” Truly, there was nothing more to say, and it left him with a lump in his throat. Encouraging her to rise onto her knees, he guided the head of his member to her opening. As she slowly, so damned slowly, impaled herself on his length, a shuddering sigh left his throat. “Thank you for sending that letter to Edenthorpe that led me to you.”

“I wanted my life to change and was desperate. Though I was a bit disappointed you didn’t come on a white horse.”

He couldn’t help but chuckle. “Perhaps for our first anniversary.”

“Ha!” Up and down, she moved her body, sliding with exquisite perfection along his shaft, over and over and over with her gaze holding his with each pass while he guided her with his hands on her hips. Her breath came in small pants. “I need to feel you more deeply.” Desire mixed with love in the blue depths of her eyes. “Show me that you will always protect me, take care of me, that you have no regrets in marrying a woman whose parents were quite literally insane.”

“I rescued you from the first. That is not likely to change.” He kissed her, claimed her mouth with urgent passion. “And there are no regrets. Only gratitude.” As if she were made of the finest china, he urged her off his lap and helped her to lie back on the sofa. He was primed and ready to explode, and damn if this coupling wouldn’t end in embarrassment. The flush over her chest and cheeks was darling, her spread legs as he followed her down were divine. The way she brushed a fingertip over a turgid nipple so damned erotic.

She lifted her arms and pulled him close, and there was the sudden feeling of homecoming he hadn’t expected.

Nathaniel settled between her splayed knees, planted his elbows on either side of her to encompass her body within the cage of his arms while holding her head in his palms. “Is this what you need?” With a powerful thrust of his hips, he speared into her, burying himself in her tight honeyed heat so deep he didn’t want to find his way out.

“Yes!” A sigh escaped her as she wrapped her arms about his shoulders and held his hips between her knees.

There was no more need for words. Nathaniel set out to worship her body with his, to show her how much he adored her, and that he couldn’t wait to tell the world that he was thrilled with what their marriage had become. The pain in his body was forgotten as he found new reasons to live in her.

Again and again, he stroked into her, losing himself in the wonder of his wife. She held him close and that trust shook him to his core. With the subtle tightening of her fingers and legs, she told him where she needed him to be. And still he stroked into her, couldn’t have enough.

As he stared into her eyes and she gazed back with all the trust in the world, a piece of his soul flew into her keeping, and with a gasp he realized he had received that same thing from her. She was the piece he’d unconsciously been missing since he came home from the war, and it was damned overwhelming to feel whole again.

Emotions clogged his throat. Nathaniel pressed his forehead to hers, cradled her to him as best he could while he continued to claim her body. When a moan escaped her, that sound broke the hold on his control. Need tingled through his stones; his shaft pulsed with urgency. He changed his rhythm, quickened his movements, and after delving a finger between them, played at her nubbin with varying degrees of friction until she bucked beneath him. He stroked into her harder, faster, deeper, almost demanding that she go over that edge ahead of him. This was the woman who had shown him that life was bigger, larger, broader than what he’d known before.

“Nathaniel!” Then she was gone. Mallory slipped into bliss with a scream of pleasure that echoed in the space.

“Gorgeous.” He kissed her, selfishly took her sounds of release into himself, and with another deep, powerful thrust, he joined her in that void. The swirling vortex sucked him under, and for the next few seconds, he was lost with her.

In her.

Because of her.

After minutes, hours, perhaps another lifetime, he came back to himself. She still clung tightly to him, and slowly he untangled their limbs. In the process, he fell off the low sofa to land on his arse with a surprised chuckle, only to find that Peri stared at him from under the table. Good God, had the cat witnessed the whole of their coupling?

“Knocked you onto your arse, hmm?” She peered down at him with a smile that lit every chamber of his heart. “Must have been very good indeed.”

He chuckled but scrambled to his knees. “Always.” Leaning forward, he cupped her cheek and gently kissed her mouth.

“So romantic.”

“Gammon.” As soon as he tucked himself into his breeches and did up the buttons of his frontfalls, he joined her on the sofa. “Now that the danger to us both is over, what shall we do with our time?”

“I’m sure we’ll think of something, or perhaps we could take a trip to Brighton for a few days.” Mallory tugged up her bodice then she resituated herself so that she rested her head in his lap and gazed up at him. “Thank you for always being there when I need you.”

“Where else would I be? You seem to constantly need rescuing.” His heart trembled as they shared a laugh.

Sometimes, when a man was convinced his life was one thing, an unexpected detour hit his path that changed... everything. Without danger stalking him, he had the capacity to think toward his future, and all the possibilities therein.

And it shone brightly, indeed. Broken or not, he was no longer alone, and that fact made the difference.