Page 10 of One Kiss in the Shadows (Singular Sensation #12)

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M allory temporarily forgot the slights from her mother, for with every new kiss from Nathaniel, fires erupted in her blood and longing took hold of her, and suddenly she wanted to be more to him than a friend or a companion.

Her hands and his were seemingly everywhere, and she was very nearly in his lap by the time they arrived at their townhouse. Unfortunately, decorum was needed, but the driver had a knowing light in his eyes as she was handed down from the vehicle. Honestly, she didn’t care, for all she wanted was a continuation of the lovely kisses.

“Nathaniel...”

“I know,” he whispered as he quickly ushered her inside and then up the stairs. When she assumed he would lead her into his suite, he passed it and instead guided her into the duchess apartment.

The moment the door closed behind them, she took his hand and looked up at him, unsure of how to ask for what she wanted. “Don’t leave me; I don’t wish to be alone.” Before he could respond, she rushed to fill the silence. “Please stay. Be with me as a husband.”

He frowned. “But that’s not what our marriage is, and I don’t want to push you into—”

“You aren’t.” Daring much, Mallory slipped the buttons on his tailcoat from their holes. “I know my own mind. Consider this a one-off time because I need comfort and I... I want to experience everything a bride should, because I never thought I would have that when I was trapped in that asylum.”

“Say the words, duchess,” he whispered as his hands drifted to her waist. “I won’t have you crying foul later.”

“I would never.” Swallowing to encourage moisture into her suddenly dry throat, she nodded. “I am giving you permission to seduce me, Strathfield. After all the teasing from this week, I want... more from you.”

His eyes darkened as he peered at her. With only one candle burning in the bedchamber, the shadows were more like friends than demons, and it rendered the space quite cozy. Finally, he nodded. “If at any time you are uncomfortable, I’ll beg off.”

“Nothing about you has made me feel that.” And she reached to shove the tailcoat from his shoulders.

“Well, damn,” he whispered as he shrugged out of the garment. It fell to the floor with a quiet whisper. “You are both innocence and sin.”

“Is that good?” All of this was new to her, and her mind spun with possibilities while excitement buzzed over her skin.

“Yes.” Then he walked her backward across the room, and at the bed, he tumbled them both onto it. Apparently, that upset the cat, who sprang to the floor with a very grumpy meow. In a tangle of limbs, he slid a hand down her back leaving shivering awareness in his wake.

The warmth of the duke’s body next to hers was both comforting and exciting, and the scent of him was far too intoxicating. She stared up at him with her head resting in the crook of his arm, and the intimacy of her position sent intense flutters into her lower belly. “Forgive me for my ignorance in carnal knowledge.” When his hand drifted lower to the curve of her rear, she sucked in a soft breath.

“There is nothing to forgive, but I will teach you everything you need to know.”

That sounded all too mysterious. “No doubt you’ve lain with women better than me.”

“Hush, Mallory. There is no comparison. You are the one I married.” He pressed his lips beneath her jaw where it met her ear. “In time, we will find a rhythm if this is something you wish to have within our marriage.”

Those words had her imagination dancing. As she pushed gently at his chest, soft rain drummed against the window, and suddenly, second guessing took hold. “Perhaps we should...” Her words trailed off, for he’d nuzzled into the crook of her shoulder, and the sensations that zipped through her body as a result were so delicious, she held her breath in the hopes he would continue.

“Hmm?” The reverberation of his voice being so close to her ear had awareness of him multiplying like soap bubbles.

“I... Um... What are you doing?”

“Kissing you,” he replied in a low voice as if the answer was obvious. “Beginning my seduction as you asked.”

“Oh.” The sensual glide of his lips along the side of her neck was quite pleasant.

“Shall I continue?”

The flutter of nerves tripped through her veins. “Yes.”

“Good.” He dragged his lips down to follow the curve of her bodice. “Truth be told, having you close calms the storm within me, and I want to be able to give you the same.”

“That is so poetic.” She moved her hands to his cravat, and in moments, she had the knot undone. The meaning behind his words dawned on her. The demons he silently fought with every day, the nightmares that he suffered, the pain and the guilt brought on by what he’d experienced during the war could be kept at bay when he wasn’t alone... when he was with her, perhaps in this way.

“It is simply the truth.”

The press of his body against hers was lovely. With a tiny sigh, she slipped her hand up his chest to curl about his nape. Daring much, she placed an experimental kiss beneath his jaw. The wonderfully arousing texture of the just forming evening stubble caught her by surprise, so she skated her lips along the jawline in exploration, and when she arrived at the place on his neck where smooth skin met shadow, flutters released in her belly. The contrast was quite heady.

There is so much I don’t know about men.

When he cupped her arse and pulled her flush to his form with a groan, Mallory shifted her position slightly in order to loop her arms about his shoulders. As his arms went more securely about her, a thrill danced down her spine. This was the height of scandalous—perhaps not since they were married—but then the worry flew out of her mind, for she was with him, and she knew with unwavering certainty that he would protect her from all harm. Hadn’t he done that when her parents showed up earlier that night?

Finally, Nathaniel claimed her lips with his, and she nearly cried from the tenderness of the embrace. With her fingers furrowed in the soft hair at his nape, Mallory urged him closer. She kissed him back, following his clues and leading, and just when she thought she had no skill to speak of, he made a sound of approval in the back of his throat. Happiness warmed her chest, and she smiled against his lips. “I’m trying,” she whispered.

“You instinctually know what to do.” Then the mood of the kiss changed.

The duke slanted his mouth over hers, traced the seam with the tip of his tongue, urging her to open for him. It was singularly the most erotic thing that had ever happened to her, and she sighed from the experience, but as he tangled that tongue with hers and silk slid against satin, something caught fire deep within her. This kiss reminded her of the one they shared in her rooms when he’d put her on the bureau, but this one had more strength and intention behind it. The longing that had made itself known when they’d enjoyed that kiss flared, and she wanted so much more from this man.

My husband.

Over and over, they fought for dominance. Soon enough, she conceded to his mastery and let herself be swept along on that tide of new sensations that left her both breathless and trembling with anticipation. He plucked the short row of buttons at the back of her gown from their holes and once the task was completed, Nathaniel urged her onto her back. She stared up at him, unable to read the emotions in his eyes through the gloom, but she wanted him all the same. Did that make her wicked and somehow bad as they’d told all the residents in the asylum?

Propped on an elbow, he peered down at her as her heart beat out an erratic rhythm. “If you wish to bid me nay, Mallory, I will leave you untouched.” That delicious whisper in the gloom was the height of intimate. “If you want our union to remain in name only, that is what we will do.”

Trembles danced along her nerve endings. Dear man. She rested a palm against the side of his face, traced the pad of her thumb along his lower lip, thrilled when he shuddered from her touch. In this moment, when the world was far away and only they two existed as a respite from the nightmares that haunted them both, she wanted him—for herself, for him, to usher in something she had only dreamed of. “I need you as well. To forget...”

Everything . Her murky blood lines, the uncertainty of life just now, why he hadn’t told her anything of his past, what would happen if her mother was able to slip past his protection...

Nathaniel didn’t answer in words. Instead, he kissed her again and as he did so, the duke tugged down the bodice of her gown, pulled the chemise beneath it down as well until first one breast was free of the fabric and then the other. The sudden rush of cooler air over her exposed skin drew a gasp from her, but she needn’t have worried. He was there, fondling, cupping, gently squeezing one mound of flesh as if weighing it in his hand, and when she fairly quivered with anticipation, he lowered his head to the tightened nipple, took it into the warm cavern of his mouth, just as he’d done the day they were carried away on the bureau.

And the sensations were even more lovely.

“Oh!” Her world spiraled and tilted from the unexpected surge of pleasure. “Oh, goodness.” As he worried that tip with his tongue and teeth, which kept her swamped with erotic feeling, he manipulated the other nipple with his fingers. That constant cycle of rolling, strumming, slightly pinching left her panting with a need that confused her. “I don’t know what to do.” What did one do with their hands when nearly being drowned in foreign pleasure?

His low-pitched chuckle worked to further undo her. “Do not do anything. Simply enjoy and let me take you away—take us both to a place where there is no hatred or ugliness, where there is hope and a future.”

Surely it was insane how much she trusted him, but she did. He’d already shown himself as a man of honor. When he returned to claiming her mouth while he slipped one hand beneath her skirting, shoving the fabric up and out of his way, every thought she might have had scattered in the face of this new experience.

The teasing glide of his fingertips along the outside of her leg had her shivering with excitement, but when he drew those same digits over the inside of her thigh, she sucked in a breath and thought she might perish with need if he didn’t touch her where she wanted him most, and even that was confusing for she’d never done anything remotely like this before.

Not even to herself.

But the duke wasn’t in the mood to rush the seduction. For seemingly an eternity, he danced his fingers up and down her leg then he switched his attentions to the inside of her opposite thigh. Heat rolled over her; awareness and sensations were enhanced. An impatience circled through her lower belly with an ancient call. Not knowing what to do, Mallory shoved the loosened fabric of his cravat aside, intent to reach the skin hidden beneath, and once she did, she pressed her lips to his throat, his chest, luxuriated in the warmth of him, the smell of man mixed with the scent of his shaving soap. Springy curls of hair that were sprinkled over the patch of skin she explored rasped against her lips and made them tickle.

“Let me see you.” Would that they were both naked, for she desperately wanted to touch all of him, see him, run her hands over the whole of his form.

“Soon.”

“But, I...” A gasp left her throat when he ventured a hand between her thighs. Involuntarily, she closed her legs, keeping him trapped, but he chuckled again.

“Let me in, Mallory. You will enjoy this.” He dragged his lips beneath her jaw to nibble at a particular spot that left her breathless. “I won’t hurt you.”

Deep down in her soul, she knew this man would never hurt her, for he had done enough of that during the war—she suspected—and he’d been broken because of it, but he had a beautiful soul that he was only just beginning to show her. As he continued to kiss her, she slowly opened her legs and trembled at the mystery and the newness of this phase of her life.

“I am going to send you flying, to help prepare you for what is coming.” The whispered words were thrilling enough, but worry scudded through her belly, for she truly didn’t know what any of it meant, only had hints. Since she’d been sent away at such a young age, her mother certainly hadn’t talked about such things with her, but she’d accidentally spied a coupling at the asylum between a maid and one of the alleged physicians, and she’d been curious ever since.

“I am game for anything.” Trying not to show her nerves, she clung to him, clutched his shoulders, and steeled herself for she knew not what, but she trusted him to keep her safe. There was a certain hardness, the evidence of his desire, pressed against her hip, still contained behind his evening breeches, and oh how she wondered what he looked like and felt like!

I want to feel you.

Then, his fingers were between her thighs gliding along her slick flesh, and she waited, breathless with a wildly beating heart. He found the nubbin at her center, and the instant he brushed a fingertip along that swelling bud, a whimper of need left her throat. It was almost electrifying in its unexpectedness, and she gasped. “Oh, mercy.”

“Continue?”

“Yes.” The coupling she’d seen hadn’t been like this. Her thoughts scattered once more when he strummed his fingers over that button. “Oh!” Shivers of exquisite pleasure went through her. “I... I...” The ability to form words temporarily escaped her. “What...?”

Nathaniel claimed her mouth, kissed her with a mixture of passionate dominance and gentle security that made her mind tumble, and all the while, he applied himself to teasing the pearl at her center. While she attempted to acclimate to everything, he employed various degrees of friction and speed until her hips bucked of their own accord, putting her more firmly into his care.

“Oh, dear...” Mallory broke the kiss as something she didn’t fully understand built within her. Pressure stacked and coiled as it searched for relief. Her head thrashed from side to side. “This feeling is so big, so much!”

“As it should be,” he whispered and increased the rubbing on that nubbin. “Give in to the sensations; it will be well worth it.” While continuing the play with his thumb, the duke dipped a finger into her passage then added another to tease, stretching her, bringing forth moisture, testing her.

It was too difficult to try and chase whatever it was he spoke about, so she relaxed as best she could and concentrated on the wild sensations he invoked in her body. Then, when he closed his mouth around a nipple, the dam inside broke. A wave of pleasure slammed into her, caught her by surprise, and she shouted in response seconds before it felt as if she’d been hurtled over the edge of a ravine.

“What have you made me feel?”

Down, down, down she tumbled into indescribable bliss, singing, floating, flying, borne upon the wings of tickling joy that changed the flutters into faint contractions that made her shiver all over with both heat and cold.

“Your first sexual release,” he murmured against her lips, into the underside of her jaw, beneath her earlobe. “And damn, you are so beautiful when you come.”

The new vocabulary was quite interesting, but as the residual feelings faded and Mallory returned to reality, that longing which had plagued her from the first made itself known again. “Am I ruined?” Heat slapped at her cheeks, for she no doubt sounded like the untried innocent that she was. Would he think her too unsophisticated for a duchess?

“Ah, my little innocent, you aren’t ruined, for you are married, and this is only one part of what we’ll do together.” As he spoke, Nathaniel worked the buttons of his frontfalls. A groan of apparent relief escaped him when his hardened length sprang forward. “There might be certain consequences from this joining.” Strain graveled his voice. How long had it been for him since he’d taken a woman to his bed? “Or I can withdraw before spending if you aren’t certain you wish for children right away.”

The all too real penalty of what sometimes occurred from intercourse sent a bit of icy fear twisting down her spine. Though they were wed, if she fell pregnant, would he feel obligated to stay with her? The question pressed in on her brain in an effort to steal the joy of being with him, but she nodded, surged upward, and kissed him with a savagery that surprised her. “I want you. All of you, Nathaniel, come what may. We are married and will meet each challenge as it comes. Together.” Daring much, she let one hand drift between them to tentatively stroke her fingers along his hot, hard shaft. How interesting! If her words were a tad breathless, she couldn’t help it, for she’d never felt such a wondrous appendage before. “Might I play as you did with me?”

“Yes, but go easy.” He hissed a warning but put a hand atop hers, taught her how to fondle him, moved her hand against the length. “Dear God, that feels wonderful.”

“How long has it been since you’ve been with a woman?”

“More time than I should probably admit to, and in that vein, I might not give you as good a showing as other men since I have this damned injury.”

“It matters not. You are you.” Knowing he would soon deploy that interesting shaft sent shivers down her spine. “Nathaniel, please.” Honestly, she couldn’t wait any longer to know what it would feel like to be desired by a man. “I feel as though I have waited my whole life to experience this.”

“Indeed, you have, and if you hadn’t been locked away, you could have married and had a family by now.”

Unexpected tears sprang to her eyes. “But then I wouldn’t have met you.” She gave a tiny squeeze to his hair-covered stones.

Another groan issued from him. “Don’t borrow trouble, but this might go too swiftly.” He shifted his position and settled between her legs, urging her thighs wider.

“It matters not, for this is time well spent.” Flutters bedeviled her lower belly, for she didn’t know what would happen, but she knew she wanted to share it with him. Then inspiration struck. “Make me into your real wife, if only for this night.”

“Ah, Mallory...” The duke shoved her arms above her head and pinned her wrists to the mattress with one large hand. Through the gloom, he met her gaze, and his eyes were fathomless pools. “You’re certain?”

“Yes.” Her heart fluttered, for he was far too honorable. “Ruin me, Your Grace.” The giddiness that skipped through her chest knew no bounds.

“Not ruined but thoroughly pleasured and enjoyed.” The pressure of his hold on her wrists reminded her that he was a powerful man, and, in this moment, he was fully in control, yet if she tried to break contact, he would no doubt release her immediately. Again, he kissed her, and as he did, with a flex of his hips, he speared into her body and didn’t stop until she was fully penetrated and impaled.

That quick but intense stab of pain caught her by surprise; she was no longer an innocent, and she belonged to him. “Oh!” She stilled, acclimating, and when the discomfort faded, she wriggled into a more comfortable position to accommodate this delicious thick length.

“All right?” Lightly, he rested his forehead against hers.

“Yes, and it... you feel wonderful.” It was true. For an experiment, she tested his hold. It was solid; he was solid and slightly dangerous holding himself barely above her.

Of course, he didn’t answer with words. Instead, he moved within her, coming out and then penetrating her again. Was the act as pleasurable for him as it was for her?

With each new thrust, shivery sensation showered through her, set fire to her blood, and buzzed into each nerve ending. Confusion took some of the pleasure from the joining because she didn’t know what to do.

“Move your hips to receive me.” He released her wrists. “Eventually, you will find your own rhythm.”

Mallory tried her best as she looped her arms about his shoulders and clung to him. Just as he’d predicted, it took her a bit of practice but once she figured out how to move along with him, it was as if they’d been doing such exercise together for a lifetime. Never had she acclimated to something new with such alacrity, but there was no denying the connection she shared with him.

Would it always be like this?

Only a few moments later, he groaned. “I’m coming far too quickly.” His strokes became shorter, went deeper, and were more frantic. “Not a good showing for consummating our marriage.”

“Do hush, Strathfield.” She was lost to what he did to her. It was both heavenly and exciting all at once, and every time he thrust, intense pleasure became her world. Urgent pressure coiled again in her belly, but before she could explore his body, his hand was at her breast, rolling and plucking the nipple, and then she was truly lost.

This time when the release caught her, she was more prepared, and though not as intense as the first time she’d gone flying, it was just as lovely. Contractions rocked her core, and as she floated in that soundless, sparkling space, Nathaniel stroked twice more inside her then collapsed on top of her as his length pulsed.

“Good heavens, that was beyond my dreams,” she whispered against the side of his neck. For long moments, his ragged breathing rasped in her ear. Mallory held him, hoped that he would feel as protected as he made her feel, and when he remained in her embrace, her eyelids drifted closed. For the first time in her life, hope had returned to her, and she thought that perhaps there were many possibilities waiting in the future. “In the event you wondered, I am quite happy that we have broken our marriage in name only.”

He chuckled and the sound reverberated in her chest. “Ah, Mallory, much to my surprise, I rather think fate was wise when it shoved us together.”

She smiled. “Life is constantly surprising.” With a sigh, she stroked her fingers along the side of his face. A shiver of delight danced down her spine. “I am no longer an innocent, and am truly your wife.”

“Indeed.” He lifted slightly off her to peer into her face. “How do you feel about that?”

“It was by far one of the most wonderful evenings I have ever spent.” She giggled. “Well, except for the confrontation with my mother.”

The sound of his chuckle sent another wave of awareness over her skin. “There is that. At least she’s consistent in being disagreeable.” He rolled onto his side and took her with him, tucking her against his chest. “Please know now that we have shared intercourse, it doesn’t mean I respect you less; I merely wanted us closer than we were before, and hoped that in this, you would know you aren’t worthless.”

“Oh.” The words were the height of romantic. “I understand exactly what you mean.” She brought one of his hands to her lips. “Where do we go from here?”

“Your guess is as good as mine. However, nothing has changed. I will still protect you from everything. And if you wish it, we shall return to the marriage of convenience.”

“After what we just shared?” Was there any going back?

“You are allowed to change your mind, and I don’t want you to feel as if you are trapped.”

Once more her eyes filled with tears. “I am not trapped. In fact, you gave me my freedom. I don’t take that lightly.”

“I am coming to understand that all too well.”

What did that mean?

Gently, Nathaniel encouraged her onto her back. He found her gaze with his. “I enjoy that you challenge me, for I haven’t had that in far too long.”

“I’m glad.” Mallory scrubbed at the moisture on her cheeks. “I hope you will do the same for me. I need that after the life I’ve already led.”

“I will.” When he laid down again and bundled her into his arms, she sighed, for it was truly a luxury. That certain safety she’d found in him never failed to surprise and delight her. With him by her side, nothing could harm her, not even her mother.

She hoped.

“When I was at the asylum, so many times one of the people in charge told me I was too damaged and would never have a husband because no decent man would ever take a woman like me to wife.”

“Then they were rather dim, and it should show you that no one can know the future of another.” As he spoke, his lips brushed her temple. “We are not finished with our own stories until we are dead. Remember that.”

Would that he could teach her how to be as brave as he. For the moment, she was content. What was coming for them would come, and they would meet it, but now neither of them was alone.