Page 24 of Once Upon a Demon’s Heart

My house mother always told us, “ Demons are wretched creatures born to destroy the very world we live in. They lie, steal, and murder everything in their paths.” But we were the only ones who did any of those things. I would even say we were the ones who felt nothing.

Tessa’s kindness wears on my weary mind.

We continue walking without another word.

The tents stretch out far into the valley. Lanterns start to light the field with a warm glow as the sun sets over the distant tree line.

“Tessa.”

My spine straightens as Kalel’s voice rings through my ears. My heart beats faster, both from the pain and pleasure he invoked in me last night.

She gives me a worried look before leaving my side to speak with him. They talk in low voices, so I don’t bother trying to eavesdrop. I continue to stare out in the direction of Thornhall until Kalel approaches me alone.

I ignore him, and after a few agonizing minutes, he breaks the silence.

“Nikolai visited you?”

I nod and keep the indifference smoothed over my features. I can’t even bring my eyes to meet his.

“Let me see your arm.” He holds out his gloved hand. I hesitantly extend my wrist to him. He doesn’t miss the fear in my slow response. “I won’t hurt you, Alira.”

But you have. I narrow my eyes at the ground.

He pushes up my coat sleeve and examines my arm for good measure, and then gently lets it fall to my side.

“We are passing through Thornhall tomorrow,” he starts.

I flex my jaw with discomfort. “I know.”

Kalel side glances at me. “Our kingdom, a few days after.”

“Is there a chance your king will want to kill me and continue with the war?” I ask with an empty tone. He shifts and stares out into the misty forest.

“What would you do if he ordered it?” He makes it sound like a test.

I let out a short breath. “I’d want you to do it. At least I know you kill swiftly.” His brow quirks. “I’ve heard as much,” I add. We’ve never met in battle before the time loops. If we had, he would’ve killed me long ago.

“You have my word. It will be by my sword or no one’s, little godling.”

I find Nikolai slumped up against a tree, warming his feet by the fire as several other demons share stories over dinner. He grins and welcomes me with ease.

I don’t know why I feel so comfortable around him.

Maybe it’s because he looks the most like a demigod, with little features that would point to him being a demon.

But I think it has more to do with his contagious smile.

It’s too kind and inviting. Not in a way that draws doubt, but in a way that tells me he harbors pain from his past and yearns for a person to take solace in. A twin flame.

I relate to that.

“Alira, there you are. Here, have a mug of ale!” Nikolai already has an extra one, like he's been waiting for me this entire time. He thrusts it into my hands. I take it and give him an awkward smile.

“Ale?”

His jaw drops open, and he gawks at me. “Demigods don’t have ale? No . What do you drink for fun then?” He sounds utterly mortified.

I take a sip of the bitter liquid and wrinkle my nose at the alcohol sting. “Oh, we have wine.”

That earns me a savage eye roll. “Gods and their fucking wine.”

“It’s much smoother than this.” I lift the iron mug, spilling a little. Tessa plops down on my other side with a laugh. Her breath is heavy with alcohol.

“Nikolai, is this godling giving you trouble?” she jests, nudging her elbow into my side and making me scowl. “Oh, come on, you’re always so serious. Let loose. Have some fun while you can.” She lifts her mug and takes a few gulps.

She’s already plenty drunk, but Nikolai hands her another. “Cheers!” They say together with wry grins, looking pointedly at me. I relent and clink my mug with theirs, then down the entire thing, only feeling the burn after it’s all gone.

My cheeks instantly flush warm, and a loose smile lifts the corners of my lips.

“Strong, isn’t it?” Nikolai smiles, chuckling as he pats me on the back. Tessa laughs and bumps her shoulder into me again. I take them both in, feeling a sense of belonging and happiness. They’re embracing me like I’m one of their own. Like they can forgive me for what I’ve done.

No. I can’t let them make me vulnerable. They’re definitely trying to get my guard down, but for what? I try to blink past the spell that the alcohol has cast on me. But no matter how hard I try, only giddiness and good feelings fill me. I take another few big gulps.

Kalel stalks past us. The light from the fire illuminates the side of his face as he glances at us, takes us in, glowers, then struts across the camp to sit with his close circle of knights.

The ones that are always so serious they practically compete with his level of cruelness.

I only know one’s name because he’s usually guarding our tent. Gabriel.

Gods.

I don’t know if it’s just because the alcohol makes me bold, but I ask as I lean against Tessa. “Why are Kalel and his elite knights so uptight? The war is done. Someone tell him to loosen his corset,” I drawl, eyes cumbersome and a sarcastic smile pulling at my lips.

Nikolai’s expression drops, and he shares an uneasy look with Tessa before setting his hand on my shoulder. “Alira, you must remember that some of us lost more than others. Some of us lost everything to the demigods.” His tone is filled with warning.

As if Kalel can hear us, his eyes flick back to me, catching all three of us staring at him.

I’m compelled to look away, but something keeps me from doing that.

I hold his heavy gaze. “Kalel is a good person. He’s just damaged in ways that cannot be mended overnight.

Over years, for that matter,” Nikolai whispers.

I force my eyes away from Kalel’s and meet Nikolai’s soft gaze. “His mother was in Thornhall,” I murmur, not disrespectfully but as a fact.

Nikolai bristles at the question, eyes flashing to Tessa.

She sighs beside me. “Yes, and unfortunately, her death scent lingers around you. Not directly, so at least you didn’t kill her yourself, but you were close enough that it stains you.

His mother, Rene, was all that Kalel had left in this world,” Tessa mutters sadly.

My eyes shift back to Kalel in the distance, he’s speaking with his men, a tired frown weighing on his jaw.

It’s hard to picture him as someone who can be gentle with others. Someone who cares like they paint him in my imagination. He was once a boy who loved his mother. He was once not filled with this deep-seated hate.

I picture him younger, wondering why the world revealed how dark and callous it is to him to make him this way.

“What about his father?” I pry, focusing back on Tessa.

She purses her lips and considers my question. “You know, I actually don’t remember hearing about him. I think it was always just Kalel and his mother. Nik?” She tilts her head to see Nikolai on the other side of me.

He shrugs. “I’ve never heard him speak of his father, not once.”

I open my mouth to ask more questions, but the knights around our campfire stand and beckon the three of us to follow.

“Come on, you’ll love this,” Nikolai throws back the last of his drink before dropping the mug to the ground and hooking arms with me. His scent is sharp, like bark and leather. I grin as he tugs me along. Tessa trots to keep up with us.

We pass Kalel’s campfire, and they watch with heavy glares as we pass. Kalel’s is the only one whose gaze is filled more with curiosity than hatred. A small reprieve that is quickly dashed when he stands to follow us.

“ Shit , walk faster.” My tone has an edge to it. I attempt to drag Nikolai behind me, but he’s dense with muscle. I barely get two steps ahead before he’s reeling me back in tightly to his side.

“Don’t worry, he never participates. He never watches either. I’m sure he just wants to keep an eye on you.” Nikolai sounds so nonchalant about it.

“ Delightful .” I force a tight smile, and it gets a chuckle out of the apprentice. “What are they doing anyway?” My attention lingers around the demons as they build a large bonfire at the end of camp, far away from any tents.

Tessa snags my hand with hers and squeezes tightly. “The send-off for those who died last night. It’s a dance and a fire so big that the gods must take them to the underworld. No soul left behind to wander lost in the forest.” She nods to the tree line where the wolves are likely still watching us.

Just thinking about them makes me shiver.

They do all of this for their dead? It’s a warm sentiment that brings an ache to my heart. King Borlin lights a torch and lists the names of only the top knights who don’t make it back.

Some say that long ago, he used to hold prayer circles and a proper send-off, but after the gods abandoned us, his faith went with them. A few centuries without tradition and ceremonies has left our kingdom void of spiritual festivities like this.

“Is that why everyone is drinking ale tonight?” I look around and see a pleasant smile on every demon’s face, save for Kalel and his elites.

Nikolai nods. “It’s imbued with a potion to make everyone’s spirit high, even if they are mourning. A sendoff is meant to be a celebration.” He eyes me dubiously as he explains it. “Demigods don’t practice send-offs?”

I sheepishly shake my head. I mean, we literally have the blood of the gods in our veins, and yet we seem to be the furthest away from them.

How did it come to such dark times?

Nikolai pats my back and pulls me in close against his chest. My cheeks flush at his closeness. “It’s alright, you’ll learn tonight,” he says with a bright grin.

My teeth dig into my lower lip with anxiety as I watch the great fire spark to life.

Cheers erupt from everyone. Half of the knights remain standing and watching while the rest start to clap and dance around the fire.

Their boots pounding on the ground like war drums, and their voices calling for the souls to gather.

It’s a sound so enchanting that I become entranced. The embers flick from splitting wood and fill the dark sky with ascending bright sparks.

“Okay, watch one round and then join in!” Tessa says as she grabs hold of Nikolai’s arm. He winks at me before letting go and trotting into the dancing circle with her.

The hymn the demons sing is sad and filled with longing, but grows happier and more uplifting as they call their fallen friends home. Chills spread over my arms as the sound works its way through my bones and immerses into my own soul.

Nikolai’s voice is lovely, carrying over the rest. His eyes catch mine as he loops back for another round. He waves for me to join. I hesitate. This isn’t my place, but demigods died last night too. I should be a part of this for them.

I take the leap and merge into the bodies of dancing, singing demons. Nikolai catches me, his warm hands meeting mine and offering me a charming grin. “For a second, I thought you wouldn’t even try!” he shouts. It’s so loud in the crowd that I barely hear him.

“Your voice is enthralling,” I say loudly, but he doesn’t hear me, so he dips in close, letting his ear brush against my lips. My heart leaps in my chest at the contact. I repeat what I said, and he pulls back, smiling, really smiling like he appreciates it more than I thought he would.

“I can sing any creature to wealth or ruin. It’s my ability. So count your blessings that I like you, Alira.” He winks at me again. My cheeks warm and a giddy smile that I’m sure is more alcohol than not, has me shadowing his movements and dancing among the demons.

It’s intoxicating. A feeling so strong and overwhelming that I lose myself to the song and the orange glow of the fire. My gaze drops down from the sky and lands directly on him .

Kalel.

He must’ve just spotted me, because his eyes fill with rage and he bares his teeth with what I’m guessing is a shout of fury.

Nikolai sees it too. His features flash with worry, and he glances down at me with horror. “I’m sorry.” I read his lips because his voice is too low to hear the words.

My chest sinks, and as I turn around to look back at Kalel, I’m met with his broad chest. I tilt my chin up and find his amber eyes lit with hellfire.