Page 23 of Once Upon a Demon’s Heart
Chapter Thirteen
ALIRA
The snow started falling around midnight.
We’ve set up camp just outside the forest beyond the dire wolves’ domain.
It took half the day alone to make it out of that valley, but Kalel was driven to keep his word and have his army out of Fallen Ridge.
The forest spirit made it clear that it would kill anyone left on its land by twilight. At least Kalel cares about his knights.
Several demons were slain in the fight yesterday; many more were injured. The men are tired and weak, with only one healer and his apprentice. Kalel can’t afford for sickness to break out among the troops. So, we settle in for the night.
Tessa sits beside me around a campfire—a few other knights sit across from us. No one bothers me, which is nice. Either they’re too afraid of Kalel to mess with his pet, or they respect him explicitly. Something tells me it’s the first option.
“Hey, are you hungry?” Tessa offers gently.
I’m sure everyone in a hundred-yard radius of the tent last night heard us moaning. Possibly even my screams from the forest when he bit my wrist. Ugh. I try to keep the blush from my cheeks, but I can feel the warmth race across them anyway.
Tessa’s been keeping close to my side today. She seems to have picked up on my diminished mental and physical state.
I nod weakly, keeping my eyes on the ground. Something inside me changed last night. I’m broken. Kalel saw to making sure that I was a shell of myself before he made me come in his mouth, and his tactic worked because I feel utterly helpless.
He’s cruel in everything he does. I want to hate him.
I want to resent the way he made me writhe in pleasure last night after the way he hurt me, and yet I’ve been yearning for him to hold me all day.
My eyes constantly trace to him when he isn’t looking.
I want to see more of him. More than just the dark, grim parts.
Who is he really when he isn’t around me?
Why did he answer my prayer and save me? A weight burdens my chest.
My wrist aches, making my eyes narrow in pain, shifting my thoughts.
Mav has yet to make his check-in with me, and I won’t ask for him sooner.
He’s tending to those who were injured by the dire wolves.
Nikolai will probably pop in soon anyway, so I can wait.
It’s odd though, the other bites haven’t festered the way this one is.
My holy blood should’ve healed the small wound by now. I worry my lower lip.
Tessa hands me a chunk of bread. I take a few bites of the warm, buttery loaf. She sighs and sets her hand on my knee—my body jolts instinctively at the contact.
A frown pulls at her lips. It’s unsuitable for a demon to look so concerned for a demigod like me.
“Are you okay?” Tessa’s ruby eyes lift to mine and after a moment, I shrug. Her frown deepens. “Did he hurt you? We heard you screaming from the woods.” She clenches her hands over her knees as if recalling the sounds makes her uncomfortable.
“Isn’t that what he promised? Isn’t that what all of you want? My suffering is none of your concern,” I say, my voice raspy, before sipping another spoonful of soup. I know she means well, but I’m tired and bitter. Untrusting.
She lowers her head and seems troubled by my response. We finish eating in silence. I try to remain as small and unseen as I can until another demon sits on the other side of me.
Tessa greets him respectfully, but I am reluctant to look up.
“Alira, can you follow me to the tent?” His voice is soft and free of disdain. Nikolai . I lift my gaze and consider him.
He wears similar black healer robes as Mav does today—I wonder if word got to him about what happened last night, or if he heard it too. Gods. My cheeks flush with embarrassment. His medium-length fawn hair is swept to the side, and the kindness hasn’t left his brown eyes from our first meeting.
I nod and stand up to follow him back to the tent. Tessa’s brows are still pinched with concern for me, but she trails us silently and stands guard at the entrance.
Nikolai patiently waits as I grab a chair and sit in the center of the room where most of the natural light leaks in.
“I wanted to make sure I got to you as soon as time allowed. I heard you last night and I want to make sure you’re not in pain,” he explains as he sets down the bag he brought in with him. I can’t help but find comfort in the worry that accompanies his tone.
Nikolai waits as I roll my sleeve up. I watch his face turn to horror.
“Oh… Alira,” he stammers, seeming to be at a loss for words. I glance down at my wrist and see why. The wound has festered like a snake bite would to a mortal. My entire forearm is bruised purple and black veins sprawl out like branches from the two dark gold puncture holes on my wrist.
Nikolai kneels and gently takes my hand. His brows are pulled together with anguish, and his eyes flick up to me, then back to my wound like he wants to say many things that he can’t find the words for. His kindness will only earn him misery one day. I let out a breath but smile weakly.
“It’s okay. You don’t need to say anything to comfort me, Nikolai. Please continue.”
His mouth is pressed into a thin line. “This may sting a bit. Shit. He knows better than to bite the wrist; it always festers like this on extremities. Usually, he only uses it for interrogations,” he mutters as he raises his hands, a warm glow of magic brightens the space around them.
My eyes widen with awe. I’ve always admired healers’ abilities.
Their magic is arcane and passed through their elders.
The healers are the demons we have the most research on.
For whatever reason, King Borlin found them to be closer to demigods because of their restorative powers.
He’s always had a keen interest in their abilities.
I heard that once, many centuries ago, some even lived in Alzhor.
Nikolai utters a few words I don’t understand beneath his breath, and a sharp pain spreads through my arm. I hiss and shut my eyes against the assault.
“I know. I’m sorry, Alira. Just a bit longer.” He slides his hand down my arm. I open my eyes in time to watch all the bruising lift from my flesh and into his palm. He flicks his hand behind him, and black liquid hits the ground.
What is that? I stare in horror at the black bubbling ooze and shiver at the thought. The throbbing pain is gone, and my wrist looks perfect again.
“Right as rain.” Nikolai grins up at me—his eyes give away the strain his healing magic takes on him.
I’m overwhelmed with gratitude—I wrap my arms around his shoulders, and he gasps with surprise before patting me gently.
“Thank you for your kindness, Nikolai.” I’m certain that at some point, he’s had to help Mav heal many of the knights who’ve been horribly injured at my hands.
Perhaps he’s even borne witness to the aftermath of Thornhall.
It must be hard for them to let me live among them, let alone keep me from being in pain when Kalel left me in that state on purpose.
Nikolai chuckles lightly and stands to pull away from the hug.
“It’s no trouble at all. I was just surprised that a demigod threw her arms around my shoulders.
” He laughs in a relieved way. “Feel free to find me, should you need healing again, okay? You shouldn’t be left to suffer like that.
” His eyes linger on my wrist before he forces a small smile.
“I will. Thank you.”
He nods and stands to leave the tent, stopping at the flap and turning to look back at me.
“Can I ask you something, Alira?” His voice is more serious than before.
I blink at him with a pressed frown, dreading his question if it makes him look this upset.
“What is it like now that you’ve had to be so close to us—to the demons?
Do you still hate us?” His expression is filled with sorrow.
I consider him before forcing down the knot in my throat. No. Of course not. They are far from the monsters I was raised to believe they were.
“No, I don’t,” I whisper. My jaw trembles with emotion, but I don’t understand why. Maybe it’s the genuine concern in his tone, or the despair in his eyes.
He offers a weary grin before turning and leaving without another word.
The snow stops falling mid-afternoon, and I overhear Tessa giving orders to the knights that tomorrow we will resume our trek toward the kingdom.
I inhale the cold air as I walk through camp.
Tessa trots beside me and talks freely about the next few days of travel and how excited she is to return to her home.
She has an ill brother who awaits her return—she’s the sole provider for him and his young daughter.
Life in their kingdom must be complicated right now with all the supplies and money going straight to their army.
She shares that the mother of her brother’s child died in the attack on Thornhall.
I stop walking and face her. “Were you there that day?” The battles are a blur to me—I don’t remember many of the demons’ faces.
But in Thornhall, they were mainly villagers, and they were running away.
I couldn’t see their faces. Is that why it felt so impersonal?
It’s horrendous what we did, and it rots the very core of my soul.
Tessa’s cheeks and ears are red from the frigid air.
She takes a moment to look over the gray landscape before giving me a sad smile.
“Would it matter if I was?” She kicks some snow with her boot and lets a short laugh out.
“I know you fought there. Their blood lingers on you.” Her voice is low, but she shakes the thoughts and gives me a blank expression.
“We’re passing through Thornhall tomorrow, you know. ”
My blood freezes.
I don’t know how to respond to that. Her grief is tangible.