Page 13 of Once Upon a Demon’s Heart
Chapter Eight
ALIRA
It’s still dark when I’m woken by sharp, uneven breaths. Pained gasps and groans. I sit up instantly, alarmed. It sounds like someone’s been badly hurt.
The tent is dark and cold. The ticking of snow against the tarp brings me into my surroundings. I’m still not used to waking up away from the barracks in Alzhor.
My eyes adjust in a few moments, and I realize the distressed sounds are coming from Kalel. Has he been wounded? I rise from my bedding and approach him carefully.
“Kalel?” I whisper, hesitant on getting too close to him.
He snaps his head in my direction, those sharp teeth flashing at me. “Stay back, Alira,” he rasps. His eyes are feverish, and another roll of pain has him clenching fistfuls of his sheets and exhaling heady breaths.
I freeze, something visceral hitting my nervous system and making my core flutter.
I watch the rise and fall of his chest, the painful way his veins are protruding from his neck that make his eyes narrow as he tries to stay in control.
This is the same way I get when I’m in heat. My chest tightens at the thought.
Is he in his heat cycle right now? Do demons have heat cycles?
Oh gods.
“What’s wrong?” I ask again, trying to keep my panic contained.
He sits up, grinding his teeth and shakes the sweat clinging to his forehead as he bites out, “ Nothing . Go back to sleep, godling.”
My brows knit together. “I can’t sleep with you making all this noise.”
He groans and lets his body fall back into the sheets. His breaths are heavy, and he kicks the blankets to the floor as if they are burning his skin.
“Are you… in heat?” I ask awkwardly, cheeks on fire.
His eyes fill with horror, and he looks away sharply. “I won’t tell you again, little godling. Go. To. Bed.” Kalel’s voice is gruff and on edge. Like he’s on the verge of losing his self-control.
I don’t listen to him. Maybe it’s because I know what it feels like firsthand. It’s agony, especially if you don’t deal with it. It’s almost like he’s never experienced a heat before, because he’s not handling this one well at all.
I take a step closer, realizing it was a mistake a second too late.
Kalel lunges at me, pinning my arms to the ground and breathing heavily over me. His eyes are filled with anguish and sweat beads down his forehead. My eyes trace over his bared fangs.
“Alira, run. I don’t think I can keep myself back much longer,” he growls, forcing himself off and clutching his head like voices are shouting at him.
What do I do? I want to help him. He’s in agony right now and I can’t explain the way that his groans are causing me heartache. Each one digging into my chest more and tugging at my sympathy for him.
“Let me help you,” I whisper, reaching for his arm and trying to give him comfort.
Kalel jerks away from me and shoves my chest back.
My shoulders hit the ground, and his hands are slamming on either side of my head in the next breath.
“I don’t want your fucking help. Leave!” He shouts an inch from my face.
My eyes widen and I stare at him with fear racing through my blood.
His eyes narrow with disdain. “I want to destroy everything about you. I loathe every part of you. Why is it that I must be punished to be with a filthy creature such as yourself? You want me to fucking tear you open? You want me to fuck you raw until you can’t walk straight?
” His eyes are feral. Drool spills from his lip as he thirsts for hurting me.
My body trembles. Terror has never moved through me the way it does in this moment. Kalel pounds his fist against the ground again and it sends a shiver straight up my spine.
“I won’t tell you again. Get out or I’ll hurt you in ways that I’ve longed for.
Ways that you’ll never recover from,” he threatens me with a sinister snarl.
Kalel’s breaths are ragged and his expression is hard, but there’s so much agony in his amber eyes.
It takes the sting out of his words. I still feel them, but they come from a place inside him that is bruised—a wound that has long since festered into rage.
I force my jaw to stop trembling and stare into his cruel gaze. My heart hammers in my chest and I can’t look away from his torn expression. He’s in so much turmoil right now. Leaving him like this would be harsh. Even if he hates me. Even if it makes me hate him just the same.
I take a grounding breath and slowly lift my hand to his face. His hair is wet with sweat and he’s trembling like I am. Kalel’s eyes are hooded by dark lashes as he gazes down at me, stunned by my soft touch after his outrage.
You don’t scare me.
“If hurting me will soothe the pain that wreaks havoc in you, then hurt me, Kalel. You’ll find there’s not much left inside me that can be broken.” My voice gets lost somewhere between us as his control fractures and he drops to his elbows, so our noses are touching.
“How bold of you to assume I feel anything,” he whispers against my lips. His alder wood scent slips into me like an intoxicating drug.
I shudder at the touch but hold his gaze steadily. “One has little to assume when your weary eyes give you away.” His eyes rake over me, filled with desire and hunger.
“You foolish flower.” Kalel leans into me more, pressing that taut body against mine as he strokes his tongue up the side of my neck. Tasting me. His cock is already hard and throbbing against my thigh. “You make me crazy, you know that?”
I let out a small gasp as he lifts my thin sweater and hooks a finger around the waist band to my pants.
He pulls them off easily and stares down at my underwear for a beat.
Kalel glances at me before moving the fabric to the side, clenching his jaw tightly, and turning his head to the side like he can’t bear to think about what he’s about to do.
He lowers his hand to my center and presses two fingers inside me. I firm my lips to stifle the moan that tries to escape as he stretches my core.
He groans and pushes his fingers all the way up to his knuckles.
Kalel’s head lowers to mine, lips against the shell of my ear.
“I won’t knot you. I only need enough relief to make this go away.
I despise you, little godling. I hate everything that you’ve made me do.
” He removes his hand, soaking wet with my arousal for him.
Then he lines up his engorged cock and with one brutal thrust, he fills me up completely.
I wasn’t prepared for his girth. The sudden intrusion and stretch tears a scream from my throat. Kalel’s hand comes down hard over my mouth as he ruts into me hard and fast. My insides are being rearranged.
“You made me a monster. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you .” He stares down into my watery eyes as he thrusts his hips into me like I’m nothing more than a ragdoll. His face is contorted with hatred, but his eyes are filled with so much misery it hurts.
I wrap my arms around his neck and pull him down so our chests are pressed together. His cold heart beats erratically against mine and his breaths stutter.
“I would take your suffering if I could.” I hug him tightly. He allows it for a moment, then seems to remember himself and pulls away.
Kalel’s arms are veiny as he stares down at me. Furious tears fall from his tormented eyes and pelt my face. I catch myself admiring how beautiful he is when he lets his emotions bleed into the night. How he alone is a somber song only the nightingales know.
Kalel resumes his ruthless thrusts. His hand is heavy against my lips, keeping all my cries and screams muffled.
I hate me too. I try to tell him with my gaze, but only streams of tears fall from each of my temples. His jaw flexes and he looks away sharply.
He pumps his hips into me a few more times before cussing and abruptly withdrawing from me. He pulls his pants back up, snags his coat, and storms out of the tent. My body feels broken and empty. My mind feels fractured like glass from our encounter.
I carefully rise, feeling bruised everywhere, but especially at my core. He was merciless and rough just as he said he would be. I’m glad for it. It makes it easier to see him as the devil he is. It hurt, but at least it looked like it took the pain away from him.
I collapse in my nest. Thinking of death and how it would ease the suffering I’ve brought everyone in this world. Yet even death itself evades me.
He hates me .
I can’t stop thinking about the way he looked at me with such loathing. The thoughts remain in my head until dawn.
Sleep eludes me, and Kalel doesn’t return to the tent until the sun is hitting the tarp. The Devicitian Knights are bustling around outside and preparing to leave.
I let the last few restful moments go and sit up to see if he’s feeling better. His hair is smoothed back into perfection like it normally is, but his eyes still have that wild look.
“Here, wear these.” He tosses a bundle of clothes at me.
I unravel them and find a cream colored, thicker long-sleeved garment, winter-grade pants, and a fire fox cloak.
A frown pulls at my lips at his kind gesture, but I’m not about to decline it.
The cold allows no mercy, and after yesterday’s horrendous trek, I don’t think I’d make it without the extra warmth today.
Is he just going to pretend last night didn’t happen? I wonder as I lift the cloak to admire its quality.
A small necklace falls onto my lap. It’s the one Korin gave me—I thought they’d thrown it away with my other belongings. I raise a brow and look up at Kalel. He’s watching me closely and takes a deep breath when our eyes connect before forcing his gaze to the ground.
“I had it fit with a warding charm,” he says gruffly, refusing to look at me.
My brows pull closer together. He kept it for me. I clutch the necklace, the only thing I have left of Alzhor, and try to not to make it look like it means as much as it does to me.