Page 8 of Olivia’s Only Pretending (Sweet River #3)

Seven

Gracie

hey big sis, it’s been a while! what’s new? can we catch up soon??

anything interesting happen lately ??

Me

I’m at work right now – let’s have a phone call some evening this week! We can catch up on everything.

“ I can’t read second chance romance. It always makes me want to throw my Kindle across the room,” one of the students in my romance book club explained passionately, rubbing their temples.

“The female main character says she remembers how his lips used to feel, and all I can think is how remembering kisses with my ex makes me feel the exact opposite. ”

I nodded along as we sat in a semicircle under the shade of my favorite tree. I agreed with this student. There was nothing I wanted less than a second chance with the ex I’d been dodging on campus this morning.

“Are you kidding? Second chance romance gives you the best pining!” another student nearly squealed.

A trope debate was on the horizon again. I could appreciate pretty much every trope, even if my own ex felt like an annoying gnat I wished I could swat away .

The conversation was a murmur around me. I let my eyes roam the campus.

Was it really only yesterday I was carefree and leading Victor along these sidewalks? Kissing him in my office?

Was there some way I could exchange Ryan for Victor’s presence on campus?

Later, after the club dispersed, I headed straight to my favorite coffee cart. It was a cool, overcast morning, with the trees blazing in rusts and golds against the gray sky. I kept my cardigan wrapped tight a little longer.

I stepped up to order my coffee, and the blonde-haired barista from yesterday was grinning back at me.

“Annie, hi,” I said, remembering her name even though Victor hadn’t exactly introduced us yesterday. She seemed to be burned into my brain for reasons I didn’t want to examine.

“Hi,” she said, her eyes squinting, head tilting, like she was trying to place me.

“Victor Hernandez’s friend from yesterday,” I offered. “I’m Olivia.”

I guess I wasn’t burned into her brain in quite the same way.

She nodded. “Yeah, yeah, that’s right.” She opened her mouth like she was about to say something else but then quickly pressed her lips back together, before asking for my order instead.

A few moments later, she handed me my hot chai latte. As I wrapped my hands around the warm paper cup, she blurted out, “Olivia, are you and Victor together?”

I took a step back, taken aback by her directness. “It’s …” New? A ruse? I swallowed. “Complicated?”

She buried her face in her hand. “I don’t know why I asked. I’m sorry.”

I shook my head, with auburn strands breaking loose from my ponytail. “Don’t worry.” I turned to leave but hesitated. Annie had popped into my mind several times since yesterday.

Was she Victor’s type? Did they text? Had they kissed? Had he met up with her after hanging around my house, painting with me all day?

I didn’t want to care about any of that, but as much as I tried to fight it, a part of me really cared.

I turned to her. “Did you and Victor …?” I winced, hearing that question in my own voice, as if the words left my mouth of their own accord.

Her eyes dropped as she shook her head. “No,” she said. “For a minute, I thought we might.”

“Oh,” I said, annoyed at the relief flooding my body.

“I should’ve known better.” She rolled her eyes. “He’s Victor Hernandez, you know.” She said the last part as if I’d commiserate, as if I knew exactly what she meant.

He’s Victor Hernandez rang in my ears the whole walk back to my office.

I plopped down in my office chair, dropping everything on my desk. Annie’s remark was like a little alarm bell waking me up from this silly fantasy I was about to let myself get swept away in. Because I did know exactly what she meant.

I knew Victor’s reputation. He was young and carefree.

He was one of the handsome Hernandez brothers from Sweet River—the one who notoriously broke hearts.

He’s not into serious relationships , was something I’d often heard people say about him when chatting with my friends, back before we’d developed our own friendship.

He’s not the type of guy you’d hang your hopes on , they’d sigh, and I’d nod along.

Now that I knew Victor better, I did notice that his reputation was right. He was never seriously dating anyone, or dating anyone at all , for that matter. Maybe he just wasn’t interested right now. He was still young and figuring out the next steps in his life.

Yet, there was a part of my heart that tugged toward him.

But if he was the type of guy who didn’t get into serious relationships, I was the type of girl who couldn’t ignore alarm bells.

I’d watched my own dad walk out when I was a little girl; even my straightlaced, safe-as-they-come boyfriend had left.

If I were guessing, young and playful Victor would definitely have an expiration date in my life.

Even if he kissed me in my office in a way that I couldn’t get out of my head

“Do not let this get you all confused, Olivia,” I chastised myself in a whisper. I was nearly thirty. I knew better by now.

My phone vibrated on my desk, jolting me from my thoughts. A message from Victor appeared on the screen.

Victor

am I still the talk of the campus today?

I typed up a quick reply . Definitely. It misses you already .

But then I let my fingers hover over the screen for a moment, rereading it before tapping delete until each letter was gone. I let out a slow breath. That was too flirty, right? I chewed on my lip.

Since when did I overthink my messages to Victor? I was letting the kiss get my insides all twisted.

I pushed my phone away, deciding to worry about the reply later, waking up my computer screen instead.

V ictor didn’t come over the next few days, which I tried telling myself was a good thing. I could use that time to make sure my head was in order when it came to him and whatever our arrangement was going to be, stacking up my thoughts and feelings like loose paperwork.

I also used that time to research classes and workshop ideas, printing out syllabi and reading lists. One rainy evening, they were scattered around my feet as Julia Roberts filled my TV screen and a half-drunk glass of red wine sweated on my coffee table.

“None of these courses feel right,” I told Gracie, who had FaceTimed me in the middle of my messy evening. I twisted my phone so she could see the papers everywhere.

“I’m sorry you’re still stuck,” she sympathized, sticking out her lower lip.

“I can’t imagine my students getting excited about any of these.”

“Well, I’m sorry. I know you, Liv. You won’t settle until you find just the right course,” she said encouragingly before switching gears. “How’s everything else going in your life? How’re things on campus ?” Her voice was higher as she finished the sentence.

Was she probing?

I sank deeper into the couch. Rain pattered against the window. “Campus life, huh? Well, the romance book club met up today. It turned into a venting session for some college romance drama.”

Gracie sighed. “I personally don’t have any time for college romance.”

“You’re not letting yourself get too overwhelmed again, are you?

” My voice went nearly maternal. Gracie had a history of overworking herself and cramming her schedule to breaking point.

Where I built nearly too many boundaries in my life, people-pleasing Gracie tended to forget boundaries altogether, especially with her time.

I pulled the phone close to my face and narrowed my eyes.

“No, no,” she said in a soothing tone. “Don’t worry about me. I’ve just plugged practice in where dating would normally go.”

“I don’t even know where dating would normally go in my own life.”

“Hey, how’s Vic?” Gracie cut in, her brows raised.

My palms felt instantly sweaty. My palms do not need to sweat over Victor. “He’s fine, why?”

“Because he’s become your best friend over the past few months, and you care about him?”

“You’re not asking about any of my other friends.” I sounded way too defensive.

“Why are you feeling defensive, Liv?” She raised a brow.

I took a long gulp of my plummy cabernet to stall.

“I mean, I’d be defensive too if I’d made out with my hot best friend on my office desk.”

I nearly spit out my wine. “ On my office desk?”

Gracie fell off her bed laughing.

“Freaking Lucy Rhodes!” I shouted. “We were not on the desk.” But I could imagine us on the desk. And my stomach dipped.

“ But you did make out in your office. We’ve been talking for nearly an hour—were you just not going to tell me?”

“Did Lucy say it was on the desk?” I demanded.

“Olivia! Focus. Why didn’t you tell me about the kiss?” She held the phone close to her face, like she was trying to get a better view of me.

I sighed. My little sisters were exhausting. “I didn’t want to get your hopes up. Or have to explain why it didn’t mean anything, you know? Because it didn’t mean anything.” Then I added, “Plus, why tell you when I know Lucy will do that for me?”

Mom would probably be calling to sniff around for more details soon.

“So, it doesn’t mean anything?” Gracie said. “You kiss your best friend in what Lucy said was definitely not a peck, and … somehow, it means nothing?”

“It was an accident,” I said. “I’m sure you’ve heard the whole story.” She probably heard the whole story, plus Lucy’s added embellishments for dramatic flourish.

“If it didn’t mean anything, I guess that means you didn’t feel anything? No sparks?” Gracie asked.

I remembered his hands on my waist, his lips rough against mine, his warmth and woodsy scent. I remembered everything it made me feel. Like he’d started a wildfire across my skin.

“It’s Victor. It’s not about feelings or sparks with him.”

“Why not?” Gracie nearly shouted.

I reached for the soft gray throw blanket Grandma Rhodes had knitted for me years ago and pulled it around myself for comfort.

“Because he’s my best friend. Okay? I don’t want to ruin that.

” I hesitated, looking down for a beat. “Plus, he’s not ready for anything serious.

He even broke the coffee cart girl’s heart! ”

“The coffee cart girl?”

“There’s a new server at my favorite coffee cart.

Victor had like a thing with her, and she told me how she should’ve known better since he is Victor Hernandez, after all.

” I made air quotes around his name with my fingers.

“Gracie, even the coffee cart girl knows you can’t let yourself get caught up in feelings when it comes to him. ”

“But the coffee cart girl doesn’t know Victor the way you do.”

I open my mouth, but a response evades me. I let out a breath.

“You’ve gotten to know him over the past, what? Six months? He’s your best friend. You know him better than that. He’s over fixing your freaking deck, not out breaking hearts.” Gracie laughed as if it were the silliest thing she’d ever heard.

I nestled deeper into the couch, because that was the problem. He was the sweet, dependable Victor who fixed my deck and knew me better than any best friend I’d ever had … but he was also the one person who could absolutely demolish my heart.