Page 5 of Olivia’s Only Pretending (Sweet River #3)

Four

I let out a long, slow breath as I sat in my comfy desk chair. I brought my coffee cup to my lips, savoring it a moment to collect myself after the emotional whirlwind of this morning, when there was another knock at my door.

“Come in?” I called out.

Ryan sheepishly popped his head around the corner, pushing open the door. He glanced around my office, presumably to check if Victor was still there. “Hi there.”

“Hi?” I resisted asking, What do you want?

It was the start of my office hours, and I had a packed schedule of meetings with students starting soon.

“I wanted to come by and, well, apologize for not giving you a heads up that I was coming for the seminar.” He walked toward the two chairs in front of my desk and plopped down.

“You don’t need to apologize?—”

“But I do. I know it’s hard on you to have me here.

You’ve been adjusting to everything, and then I storm in here.

And it’ll probably awaken a lot of memories for you.

And as a guest speaker, they’ll be pasting my name everywhere.

I just …” He shook his head. “I just feel sorry about it. I should’ve checked with you first.”

I felt nauseous again. It had been an adjustment over a year ago, sure, but now it felt nice to have carved my own place here in the history department, without his name always tied to mine. “I’m fine, really .”

“Hey, if it helps, I’ll be sure to talk you up. Give your name a boost, yeah?”

Oh, how generous.

“I’m fine, Ryan. No worries.” I plastered on a smile. He was right; this did awaken memories—memories of how he’d always acted as if our relationship was a favor to me. As if our relationship were a joint account, and what he deposited had higher value.

“Also, not to pile on, but someone I’m seeing might be coming out to visit for a few days.

I didn’t want to take you by surprise. I’m not sure if that guy who was with you was someone you’re seeing or just a student with a crush or something?

But I thought I should warn you so you could prepare yourself.

” He gave a small half smile. “You’ve been a real champ through everything. ”

A real champ. For what? Being able to handle being broken up with? Or for sharing the campus with him for an hour this morning?

I fought the urge to roll my eyes.

“Well, congrats,” I offered, blowing past his curiosity about Victor. A student with a crush? Victor was so much more than that, even if he wasn’t my boyfriend. “You’ve got the job. And a relationship. I’m happy for you.”

He stood up, and I did, too.

“You’ll get there, too, Livvy.”

Livvy. This time, I didn’t resist rolling my eyes.

I used to wonder if Ryan and I would ever run into each other again. I’d assumed we might bump into each other at a conference—neutral ground. I’d imagined a friendly, polite conversation. I would ask about his new position at the university. The position that was the first domino in our breakup.

Now that he was really standing in front of me, in my office, I didn’t want polite small talk. I didn’t want closure. I didn’t want anything except for him to go .

“Well, I’m sure I’ll see you around.” I gestured toward the door.

Victor came barreling back into my office. “Hey Liv, I left my coffee—” He stopped in his tracks, looking between Ryan and me.

I had my arms clasped tight around myself, and his gaze tracked it, his brows furrowing in concern.

Ryan looked annoyed. What? Is he irritated that the student and his silly crush are back?

I set my eyes on Victor and blurted out, in a voice as sweet as syrup, “You know you’re welcome here anytime, sweetie .”

Victor’s eyebrow shot up so far it almost blew through the roof. I gave him a big smile and silently begged him to go with it.

Whatever it was, I wasn’t sure. I just wanted Ryan to realize how wrong he was to dismiss Victor, to feel uncomfortable with how he spoke about him, to feel uncomfortable sitting in my office.

Victor slid behind my desk, beside me, reaching for his coffee, which I’d moved there after he left, planning to steal it. I slipped my arms around his waist, clumsily, unsure of my movements. Victor grinned down at me with his head cocked in question. I gave him a small, sheepish shrug.

A slight chuckle escaped his lips. He had to realize what I was doing.

“I was just on my way out.” Ryan thumbed back toward the door, tripping over one of the chairs.

“Oh yeah, I’m running out, too. I’d forgotten—” Victor started.

I grabbed his sweatshirt in my fists and pulled him closer to me. His eyes went wide as his chest pressed against mine with each rapid intake of breath.

Our lips were millimeters apart. I felt myself leaning in for a kiss, his eyes tracking my lips.

“Not without a goodbye …” I couldn’t bring myself to say kiss.

I’d always teased my sisters for their chaotic impulsivity. Why not think before acting? Yet here I was, shocked by the words coming out of my own mouth.

Ryan cleared his throat awkwardly, standing in the doorway.

Victor looked at me with a mix of wonderment and amusement as he replied, breathlessly, “Of course; I wouldn’t dare.”

The way his hands slid around my waist made my body flood with heat, waking me from this dangerous game I was playing.

Olivia Rhodes, you don’t have anything to prove to your crummy ex.

And Victor is your best friend. Kissing him would be trouble.

I blinked, pulling my face a few millimeters away. “You don’t have to,” I whispered, barely audible. I’d almost made a very stupid mistake. I was starting to pump the brakes.

Victor pulled me closer, whispering warmly in my ear, “Happy to help.”

Goose bumps erupted down my shoulder.

“I’m—” Ryan was saying something from the doorway. Maybe goodbye? I couldn’t hear a thing.

Victor had crossed the millimeters between us with his eyes dropping to my lips, then back to my eyes. Now I felt mine go wide as he slowly, tentatively brought his lips to mine.

I could’ve pulled away. Stopped him.

Instead, I lifted onto my toes to bring us closer. His lips were warm and tasted like maple latte and mints. He dropped his coffee cup back onto my desk so he could drag his hands against my waist, pulling me closer, eager and hungry.

There was a jolt of electricity between us, sending my hands around his neck, into his hair.

What I thought would be a small goodbye peck felt like opening a floodgate I couldn’t contain. Our kiss was frenzied and feverish. As he deepened the kiss, pushing me against the desk, a moan escaped me.

I’d lost all control the minute we’d made contact.

Victor rasped my name into my mouth in a way that made the hairs on my skin raise.

What are we doing? It felt like stepping out of a strong current, but I pulled away from him. Dizzy and dazed, I touched my fingers to my lips and looked up at him.

He looked temptingly undone: hair a mess, lips red, swollen. The urge to pull him close again hit me hard.

He swallowed. His gaze narrowed, examining me like he was watching for a tornado on the horizon during a storm.

My feelings were the tornado, wreaking havoc.

Victor cleared his throat. “He left already,” he said, gesturing toward the door.

Oh yeah, Ryan .

“Oh, good. We scared him away,” I said, trying to keep my voice steady and ignoring how my hands were trembling. Even my stomach was trembling.

“Was that what was just happening? Were we scaring Ryan away?” Victor ran a hand through his hair. “Not that I’m complaining, at all . I’m just curious about what you’re thinking.”

“I don’t know what I was thinking.” I glanced toward the doorway, realizing it was wide open. So much for the rumors blowing over.

Sonny, an older lady who was the secretary for our history department, was right in sight line of my office.

I squinted at her for a better look. Her lips were pursed, and she was actively looking away.

I rushed over to close my door, and she turned her head toward me for a moment, trying to suppress an obvious grin. She’d seen.

I closed my door and rested my head against it with my eyes closed. I had a student coming in eight minutes. “Victor,” I groaned.

He chuckled. “I’m liking these new sounds I’ve been eliciting from you the last few minutes.”

I narrowed my eyes. “Victor Hernandez. The office is going to think?—”

“That we just made out, and now you’ve hurried over to slam the door shut?”

“This isn’t a joke. We need to figure this out.” My heart was racing. Victor showed up on campus and turned my world upside down. Of course. He was like ivy growing wild in every area of my life I gave him access to.

“Figure what out?” He propped himself halfway onto my desk. Normally, that’d bother me, but on him, it gave me an ache of affection. I liked seeing him comfy in my safe places. “Annoying ex thinks you’ve moved on?—”

“I have moved on.”

“Annoying ex thinks you have a hot younger boyfriend . Your department thinks maybe you’re having a fling of some kind.

I don’t think it’s that bad.” He shrugged.

“Nothing to figure out. Let it fizzle. Later, if anyone asks, tell them we decided we were better as friends.” He cleared his throat. “Which we are. Right?”

“Right.” Victor’s perspective brought my heart rate down. I took a deep breath, resting my head against the door.

“Problem solved.”

“Now, I only have to deal with Ryan being at all the Fall Seminar activities I was looking forward to. We have the faculty dinner this weekend.” I stepped away from the door.

“Sorry, Liv.” Victor walked over to me, meeting me in the middle of the office.

He reached for my arms, and my skin flushed, remembering how his hands felt on me only moments ago, like an engine that had just been running and was still hot.

“I’ll be fine. I’m a big girl.”

He gave my forearms a gentle squeeze. “How about I come with you?”

“Oh,” I said, taken aback by his offer. As the eldest daughter, I was used to facing problems by myself. I’d grown up taking scary steps first, so my sisters had footsteps to follow in. I’d checked under my own bed for monsters along with theirs.

Asking for help was not an instinct for me. It was an after-I’d-already-figured-it-out thought. I was our family’s pioneer. The captain. Always on the front lines.

“Everyone thinks we’re together anyway. I can be your distraction,” Victor said. “Might make it more tolerable?”

I chewed on my lip. “My distraction?” Victor was skilled at distracting me.

“More than that, though. I can help you navigate everything, be by your side, so you’re not dealing with Ryan and office gossip alone. Like a copilot.”

“You want to be my copilot?” My chest tugged.

“Anytime. I help you fix up that old house. I help you deal with annoying exes. I buy you good coffee,” he said, grinning down at me and warming me all the way down to my toes.

“Okay.” I nodded. Just the idea of having him there dialed back my anxiety. “I think that sounds like a good plan.”

“So, that’s the plan? We let everyone keep thinking we’re dating?” His voice dropped, low and warm.

The words sent a rush through me that I didn’t want to investigate too closely.

“Yeah, it sounds like a good plan. Right?” I felt like I’d woken up this morning in some messy romcom movie.

“Right.” His eyes searched mine. “We can handle that.”

Victor left, leaving my office door wide open.

I avoided Sonny’s nosey gaze from across the hall and slid back behind my desk.

I realized one of my notebooks was soaked from where Victor had spilled his coffee during the frantic haze of our kiss.

Neither of us had noticed in the heat of the moment.

I grabbed a few tissues from a nearby box and tried to sop up the mess before anyone arrived.

But all I could think about was the way Victor had dropped the cup, like nothing else mattered, in a hurry to get his hands on me. The taste of maple latte and mint lingered on my lips the rest of the day.