Page 109 of Off Plan

“I’m trying out a new trend,” I informed him, lifting my chin defiantly. “It’s alook.”

Beale burst out laughing. “Uh-huh. You know, Fenn took a wrong turn yesterday while he was manning the wheel on our morning tour. Wanna know what he told me when I called him on it?”

I stared at him and shook my head slightly.

“That he was just looking for ashortcut.” He chuckled to himself. “The tour goes in a fucking circle around the island, Mason.”

I rubbed a hand over my forehead. “That’s…” I cleared my throat. It was actually really fucking nice to hear I wasn’t the only one having trouble, even if it didn’t change anything. “It could be totally unrelated.”

“Nope. He hasn’t slept in days. If someone says your name, he looks vaguely like he’s gotten kicked in the nads.” Beale tilted his head to one side. “He’s got a broken heart.”

“Well, I’m not sure how much he told you, Beale, but if he’s got a broken heart, he’s broken it himself.” I jumped up from the couch and slurped the last dregs of my coffee. “It was his idea to proactively not be together since I’m… I’m leaving the island.”

“Right. Yeah. So that’s the thing.” Beale rubbed his hands on his pants. “It’s like this, Mason… Has Fenn told you anything about his past?”

“Some.” Angry as I was at Fenn, if Thad Chambers ever appeared in my vicinity…

“Right. So you know, then, that Fenn’s never been good enough for anyone, right?”

I squinted at him. “Are you insane?”

Beale shrugged. “I mean, Thad—”

“Was a closeted asshole who led him on and then literally got him beaten! That’s not on Fenn. God.”

“Right. But you know, his mom and stepdad—”

“Arehomophobicassholes who abandoned him when he was at his lowest point. Also not on Fenn.”

“Yeeeees,” Beale allowed. “But you know, his dad—my uncle Jared—left his mom before he was born—”

“And then abandoned his responsibilities for years and left Fenn at the mercy of his mother and stepfather. Again, Beale, not seeing how this is about Fenn.”

Beale gave me a lopsided smile. “You’re so good for him, Mason Bloom, and you don’t even know it.”

I shook my head. “That’s not—”

“To Fenn, Mason, every single one of those incidents, plus a hundred more besides, have been him not beingworthyof being chosen.”

I frowned. “What?”

“Come on,” he chided softly. “You’re a smart guy. Fenn’s mom wanted a nice, straight Christian boy. His stepfather wanted a man’s man, whatever the fuck that means. Thad wanted someone who would stay his dirty secret for as long as possible. Uncle Jared wanted someone who’d take care of him, in the end, and that’s what Fenn did for the first couple years he lived here, until Jared died. Even my dad, who loves Fenn to death and wants the world for him, has never bothered to try to understand whatFennwants. It’s like they speak different dialects of the same language, and they have entire conversations at cross-purposes. It’d be funny if it weren’t so damn sad.” He sighed. “Nobody’s ever looked at Fenn and wantedhim. Can you imagine what it’s like to have everyone you’ve ever loved turn you away or hold you at arm’s length?”

My stomach inverted and filled with lead. I had to press a hand under my ribs. “Strong coffee,” I told Beale.

“Sure.” The sympathetic look in his eyes said he knew better.

“But,” I said, attempting to rally, “that has nothing to do with me, you know? Fenn doesn’tloveme. This was a short-term thing—”

“But it doesn’t have to be. You could stay here. My dad wouldshithimself.”

“Charming.”

Beale smiled affably and shrugged, unbothered. “Point is, you have a job here. You’reneededhere. And not just any doctor—youspecifically.Take the job.”

I blew out a breath. “There are reasons why I can’t just take the job here, Beale. I need stability. I need… I need to not tie my entire life to a person who doesn’t want me. Every time our relationship gets the tiniest bit real, he gets scared off. He’s not all in with me. Which is fine! You know? Totally… very…understandable.That he doesn’t feel that way about me.” I tightened my free hand into a fist and shoved it in my pocket. “I’ve been down this road before. I was dating someone for a long time, and we broke up in January—”

“Afiancée,” Beale said, nodding. “Yes, I know. You were going to spend your whole life with her, and no wonder! She’s perfect, and lovely, and blonde, and female, and everything you deserve in your life.”