Page 19

Chapter 19

AMBER

My heart is racing. I fan myself with my notebook, still reeling from Zack’s surprise visit.

If Donatello hadn’t walked in when he did…who knows what might have happened.

I take a deep breath, smoothing down my hair and trying to bring my mind back to my work. Not that I’ve been able to focus much today, anyway.

I’ve been thinking about Zack and our date all morning. I’ve never been on a fondue date before, and it was surprisingly fun. He encouraged me to take the leftover chocolate and fruit home with me. Gone 7:30 this morning – sooo good.

It was a good thing that practice today wasn’t all that important to observe, because I was barely paying attention. When I saw the way Zack handled his stick, I thought back to his arms around my waist in the park. And when the only sounds were the skates digging into the ice and the players’ heavy breathing as they skated laps, I let myself zone out and replay our kiss.

I keep reminding myself that we’ve kissed before, so last night shouldn’t be affecting me this way. It certainly shouldn’t be causing me to drift off into fantasies at work. Yet, here I am…

But this kiss felt different than any we’ve shared before. Maybe it’s because I know more about Zack’s past, or maybe because we’re more grown up now, but I feel more connected to Zack than I did when we were teenagers.

It might have taken us a while to get here – ten years, to be exact – but I feel like we’re picking up right where we left off. Only better.

I couldn’t ask for more, except for being able to date out in the open. I don’t like having to keep our relationship a secret, but I don’t want either of us to lose our jobs.

I think we can keep things relatively quiet for a few more weeks… right?

I glance at the calendar, tempted to count how many days are left in my contract, then shake my head. Get it together, Amber. I can’t be counting the days until my contract with the Blades is over.

I don’t even know what I’m doing next! My job might take me all the way to Alaska, what would Zack and I do then?

I’m about to give in and start counting the days anyway when a knock on the door interrupts my thoughts.

“Hi, Coach Green!” I say brightly. “Come on in, please sit down.”

He does, taking a seat in the chair across from my desk. “Dr. Morrison! I’m just coming from a team meeting, I wanted to check in before your first session today. How’s my team?” Coach Green leans forward eagerly, waiting for my response.

I fold my hands on the desk. “How do you think your team is doing, Coach Green?”

He laughs, shaking his head. “Ah, you psychologists. Always turning things around.”

I give him a small smile. He leans back getting comfortable in the chair. “So far so good, I’d say. I’m not seeing that same hesitation there was at the end of last season when things were going poorly. But maybe that’s just the fresh start of the preseason, with the new roster and all.”

I nod slowly. “Yes, I think some of the trades made over the summer could be affecting the team’s confidence in a positive way. Fresh blood will usually bond the veterans closer, and if you’ve got a good team, they’ll work together to bring the new guys into the fold. Make no mistake, Coach Green, I think you’ve got a very good team.” I smile reassuringly.

“I’d agree with you there.” Coach Green leans back in the chair thoughtfully. “Leadership’s been solid. Scott and Colt are backing your performance coaching, and the guys are listening.”

“I’m glad to hear it.” I duck my head and pretend to review my notes, hoping Coach Green doesn’t notice the way my cheeks heat at the sound of Zack’s name. “Anything else I should be aware of?”

Coach Green shrugs. “Same old, same old. Campbell and Thompson need more work getting their impulsiveness and anger under control, but they might be too stubborn to accept any help. Harris and some of the other vets are warming up to you, though, now that they’ve seen the improvements in some of the other guys.”

“That’s fantastic! I assume the improvements have been mostly with the newer players?” I ask, my mind on Griffin and Donatello.

“Yes, but Colt has made some tremendous progress as well. He had a few “off days” last week, but he’s doing better now. He’s skating like a twenty-three-year-old again, and he’s been in a better mood than I’ve seen him in years.”

Coach Green ponders for a moment, then shrugs. “Don’t know what’s got him so happy, but as long as he can bring back some aggression for the season, I don’t mind it.”

“I’ll keep that in mind, see if there’s anything I can do.”

Considering his moods tend to line up with what’s going on between him and me, I’m pretty sure that I’m the only one who’s able to do anything to help Zack in that area.

It doesn’t look like Coach Green has any idea that I’m the one who’s affecting Zack’s mood. We’ll have to make sure to keep it that way.

Coach Green stands and offers me his hand to shake. “Thanks, Dr. Morrison. I appreciate what you’re doing here.”

“Happy to help! And as always, please let me know if there’s anything you want me to do differently, or if you have any ideas of new things I can try.” I shake Coach Green’s hand and escort him out of the office, just in time for Mark Shepherd, my first session, to arrive. Time for me to focus.

That evening, as Zack walks me home, he takes my hand as soon as we’re out of sight of the Blades facility. I let him for a moment, but then I pull away and decide to bring up the delicate subject that’s been on my mind all day.

“Zack… we need to be more careful.”

“Nobody can see us.” He tries to take my hand again, so I stick it in my pocket, ignoring how much I want to feel his hand in mine.

“Is this about earlier?” he asks. “That was a total fluke. Donnie could have just let me be late to the meeting, and he got lucky when he checked your office.”

“He went looking for you because he couldn’t let you be late. You’re really important to the Blades, Zack. Coach Green was even telling me about it earlier.”

I shake my head at him, my eyes on the ground. “I don’t want to be the reason things go sideways for you.”

Zack scoffs. “Please. I’m positive Donatello didn’t see anything. He would have said something to me.”

“Okay, but if he’d arrived just a few seconds earlier…”

“But he didn’t.” Zack stops and turns to face me on the sidewalk. “I don’t want you to worry about this so much. Why ruin a nice thing by borrowing trouble?”

I chew on my lip, still unsure. “I’m just trying to be realistic. We cannot get caught kissing, or touching, or anything like that while we’re still working together. I’ll lose my job, and maybe my whole career, and you could too. You know that.”

“You’re right, you’re right.” Zack wraps his arms around my waist, pulling me in close. “We’ll be more careful at the rink.”

I loop my arms around his neck, but make sure to look him in the eyes. “I need you to take this seriously. We’re in the honeymoon period, where the novelty of the relationship makes things feel more exciting. Plus there are high levels of dopamine in your brain clouding your judgment. We have to outsmart our brain chemistry.”

Zack rolls his eyes at me fondly. “Sometimes I forget you’re a psychologist.”

“Well, I am, and I’m also right.” I give him a look. “I think we can make it work, but only if we’re smart.”

“So let’s be smart.” Zack smiles down at me. “This might just be the dopamine talking, though. I’ve always felt like I can’t help myself when I’m around you.”

His words fill me with butterflies, but I force myself to resist his charm until I’m sure I’ve made my point. “You have to, though. Until the season starts, and my contract ends. Practice some self regulation, Hockey Player.”

Zack drops his head, trailing his nose down the side of my neck. “But only at the rink.”

His breath at my ear sends shivers through me. “Especially at the rink,” I say breathlessly, but my defenses are falling, and Zack knows it. He takes my face gently in his hands and presses a tender kiss to my mouth.

“We’ll figure it out. And whatever happens, you’re worth it, Amber Morrison.”

Those are words I didn’t even know I’d been waiting to hear for so long. And now that I’ve heard them—I don’t want to let him go.