Page 37 of October (New Orleans #10)

“S he brought India? What the hell is going on?” Juliet asked.

“She didn’t bring her; she invited her. It’s different,” she said. “And she’ll be right back, so I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Are you okay, though?”

“No,” she admitted just as Finley approached with two beers and handed Molly one. “Thanks.”

“Sure,” Finley said. “So, I know a few of them, but who are all these people, again?”

“Oh, I should introduce you. Gwen knows them better than me, but that’s Elisa and Myra. These are their houses.” Juliet motioned behind them. “They got together right before us, basically.”

“And they bought houses next to each other?” Finley asked.

“No, they were neighbors. That’s sort of how they met,” Juliet explained. “Buster is Elisa’s dog.” She nodded to the two dogs that were now lying in the yard after playing together for the past several minutes. “And that’s Logan and Rory, who you know already, with Candace.”

“Who’s next to them?” Molly asked.

“That’s Monica and Bridgette. They’re engaged. That’s Melinda and her fiancée, Kyle, walking their way.”

“We know Melinda,” Finley shared. “She was our tour guide.”

“Do you know Jill and Willa?”

“No,” Finley said.

“Jill works with Melinda. Willa is her girlfriend. Then, there’s Sophie and Bryce.” Juliet pointed to the couple standing off to the side of the main group gathering in the middle of the yard.

“We sort of met them at Candace’s,” Molly said.

“Okay. Well, Asher and Linden are over there.” Juliet pointed to the food table where two women were kissing and looking very happy, which made Molly a little jealous because Finley was standing at least three feet away from her.

“And Caroline and Enid are over by the beer, with Jodie and Viv. You know Ava already, and she’s on her way here now, so I’ll stop there. ”

“Hey,” Ava said to Molly.

“Hey. How are you?”

“Good. You?”

“Yeah, good.”

“It’s weird, being here. I think I’m the only single woman in the place.”

“Better than being Keith, who’s the only guy here. I think they put him on the grill just to give him something to do,” Juliet said of Candace’s fiancé.

“And you’re not the only single one here,” Finley said. “My friend India is here. She’s single.” Finley nodded toward her ex, who was standing by Myra and Elisa, no longer holding the fruit tray that would undoubtedly be the best fruit tray ever made.

“Is this your not-so-subtle attempt at setting me up with someone other than Molly?” Ava teased.

“What? No. I just–”

“India is Finley’s ex-girlfriend,” Molly said. “She’s here to meet some new friends, maybe. Right, Fin?”

“Right,” Finley replied. “I just meant that you two could talk about being single or something. Not that you have to talk about that. You don’t, obviously. You could talk about anything you want.”

“Finley?” Molly said, smiling at her because God, this woman was cute.

“Yeah?”

“She gets it.”

Finley nodded and gave her a small smile.

That was when Molly realized that she was being rude, and she shouldn’t be.

They definitely needed to talk, but she didn’t have to make things more awkward by being rude about this whole India thing.

She did wish that Finley had given her a heads-up or asked if she would be okay with it, but Molly liked India, and India had helped Molly see that she was about to give up on something that could be really great between her and Finley.

“Well, I’m going to get a drink,” Ava said. “I’ll catch up later?”

“Sure,” Molly said.

“Is that weird?” Gwen asked when she joined them after Ava walked away.

“Is what weird?”

“Ava being here. She’s Logan’s best friend, but she’s just now kind of joining the group around the same time you two went out.”

“One date,” Molly replied and looked at Finley. “It was more of a hangout than anything else. We didn’t even kiss.”

“Hey. Just wanted to say hi again,” Bryce said, walking over with Sophie. “You met us already, but we were a little off that night.”

“Oh, hi. Yeah, nice to see you again.”

“It’s Molly, right?” Sophie asked.

“Yeah. And this is my–” She motioned to Finley. “My date, Finley.”

“Nice to see you again,” Bryce said to her.

“How’s the movie thing going, Bryce?” Gwen asked before taking a drink of her beer.

“It’s still going, but not until next year, unfortunately. It’s some Hollywood thing, from what they tell me, which is whatever, but it’s left us in a bit of an in-between place, and we’re trying to figure it out.”

“What do you mean?” Juliet asked.

“They’ve got it slated for production for December of next year now instead of this year, and I have a job offer in LA.”

“You’re moving to LA now?” Gwen asked.

Molly listened to them talk but stared at Finley, who was looking out over the yard at nothing in particular.

Molly decided to be the one to fix this chasm that had grown between them since she had been the one to cause it.

She doubted that Finley would’ve invited India today had she not left Molly’s apartment so early that morning and needed that walk where they bumped into each other.

She’d only left because Molly had screwed up their first time together, and it was up to her to fix this somehow.

She moved between the gathered group of women until she was standing in front of Finley.

Then, she turned back around and took a drink of her beer, hoping Finley would know what she was going for with the move.

When Finley wrapped an arm around her from behind and tentatively rested her chin on Molly’s shoulder, Molly knew that she had.

“I’m sorry,” Finley whispered in her ear.

With everyone around, Molly couldn’t exactly respond, but she put her free hand over Finley’s and linked their fingers, hoping that would convey her message that she was sorry, too.

Asher and Linden walked over from the food table, and eventually, the group split up, with Juliet and Gwen heading toward the dogs who had started playing again.

She and Finley remained standing on the deck, though, and Molly didn’t know how to proceed.

Finley took her beer from her and set both of their drinks on the table behind them.

“Want to go talk to some people? Or maybe go inside and talk?” she asked.

“Inside?”

“We can stay out here, if you want.”

“Are you trying to be extra nice to me right now because of the whole India thing?”

“Not just that,” Finley said.

“What do you mean, not just that?”

“Molls, if we just stand out here, we will get interrupted again, and I don’t want to get interrupted, babe. Can we please go inside and talk?”

Hearing the concern in her voice, Molly nodded, and Finley nodded, too, but toward the open back door that was probably meant for people needing to go to the bathroom and not people needing to have serious conversations about the state of their relationship.

Molly followed her inside, but since neither of them had been here before, they had no idea where to go.

She walked through the long hall with Finley in front of her, and when Finley turned, Molly realized they were in the living room.

Finley then sat on the sofa, facing the front window, and Molly sat down next to her, leaving some space between them because she had no idea what was about to happen.

“I’ll start,” Finley said, looking down at the floor.

“No, I should start. This is all my fault.”

“What’s your fault? I left, Molls. I left you this morning, and–”

“I made you leave.”

“No, you didn’t.”

“Yes, I did, Finley. You know what happened last night, don’t you?”

“I think I know what happened,” she said. “Did you?”

Molly nodded in confirmation, letting the shame wash over her for making Finley feel like she was responsible for all this.

“I’m sorry,” she said.

“I guess it happens,” Finley replied. “Was it not–” She looked up to meet Molly’s eyes. “Was it not good at all?”

“What? No, it wasn’t that.” Molly moved closer to her on the sofa, taking Finley’s hand in her own. “I just couldn’t focus. I couldn’t get out of my own head. You were on top of me and coming, and I thought you wanted me to come, too, but I couldn’t, and I felt like I needed to, so I–”

Finley nodded and asked, “And the second time?”

“Yes,” Molly replied. “ You didn’t do anything wrong. I did. This is all my fault.”

“I pressured you last night, Molls. I got jealous because of Ava, and I pressured you. I feel horrible. I feel like you were trying to tell me something before the bar, and I didn’t listen.

Then, Ava was there, and I thought about how you and I still hadn’t called this thing between us anything official, which meant that you might still want to go out with her, or maybe you didn’t, but she did.

I let it get to me, and I started touching you.

I knew what I was doing, and then, we were at your place, and I could tell you weren’t really there sometimes. ”

“I told you that I wanted it.”

“Wanting it and being ready are two different things,” Finley pointed out. “I made you feel like we had to do that last night, and I am so sorry. I’d never–”

“You know what I’ve really been struggling with?” she interrupted.

“What?”

“There’s the ex-girlfriend being a perfect specimen of a woman, yes.”

Finley laughed a little and said, “She’s far from perfect. If you want a list of her imperfections, I can give you one.”

“I mean that that’s only part of it. Yes, I was worried I wouldn’t be enough, or that when I touched you, it wouldn’t be good, and it did get to me when you were touching me, but there’s more to it than that.”

“What?” Finley asked, squeezing Molly’s hand.

“I fantasized about that with you so many times, Finley. I wasn’t joking before when I said that in my fantasies, we’d done it on my desk, in the server room, in the kitchen, and in every room in my apartment and in yours.

I didn’t know what your apartment looked like back then, of course, so it was mostly in mine.

” Molly took a deep breath. “I let myself ruin what could have been. That’s what I’m so mad about. ”

“What do you mean?”

“I should have told you that I wasn’t ready yet. Not last night, anyway,” she replied. “I got really turned on, and I let my libido and the chance of finally being with you get in the way, even though my brain kept telling me over and over again that–”

“It was a mistake?”

“No,” Molly said quickly. “Being with you can never be a mistake, Fin.” She cupped Finley’s cheek with her free hand.

“But I should’ve been strong enough to tell you that I would have loved another long make-out session and maybe to let you get to second base or third, depending on where your bases are. My second base is shirts off.”

“I would’ve loved second base.” Finley smiled. “Second base with you is great. Your boobs are fucking amazing.”

Molly allowed herself a little laugh and added, “I wanted that perfect first time with you, and I got in my own way. I got in your way, and I’m sorry.”

“It will never be like your fantasies, Molls. You know that, right?”

“I know.” She ran a thumb over Finley’s cheek. “I don’t need it to be. I don’t know what will happen if we try again, though.”

“If?”

“It’s up to you.” She leaned in a little. “I don’t want this to be over, and I don’t think I’d forgive myself if I ruined it, but it’s up to you if I get another chance, Finley.”

“I want one,” Finley replied instantly. “I want another chance.”

“You do?”

“Yes. Molly, you can trust me,” Finley told her, pressing their foreheads together.

“If you’re in your head, you can trust me; you can tell me when that’s the case.

You can tell me to stop or ask me to start doing something else.

You can tell me if it doesn’t feel good or if you need something else to help you get there.

I just want to touch you. God, I want to touch you again.

I would love to make you come, but it’s not about that.

It’s about being with you. I wanted to come with you for the first time.

I wanted that connection to you. If you don’t like that, though, or if it doesn’t make you come–”

“Do that again next time,” Molly interjected.

“Yeah?” Finley asked.

“I liked it. And I wanted it, Finley. It’s not that I didn’t. It was just so much pressure to finally have you there with me that I crumbled beneath it, and I wasn’t ready to say anything about it last night or even this morning, so I’m sorry I’ve left you feeling like this all day.”

“Can we just start over?”

“Over?” she asked, pulling back a bit to stare into Finley’s eyes.

“Not all the way.” Finley smirked. “Just at that part. I know we can’t technically undo it, not that you’re saying you would, but maybe we can try our first time again.”

“I’d like that,” Molly replied. “But not tonight.”

“Tonight, I’ll just stay over, and we can try to get some sleep. Is that okay? I want to fall asleep next to you, Molls.”

“Maybe second base?”

Finley laughed, and for the first time that day, it seemed like she had a genuine smile on her face and appeared to be relieved.