Page 26 of Not So Goode

She couldn’t quite stop a smile. “Well. It’s awful nice of you to make a drunk girl feel better. They’re kinda jiggly though.” She shook her thigh again. “See?”

I restrained myself, with great effort, from palming her thighs and showing her how those legs were meant to be touched. Instead, I pinned both of her wrists in one hand. “You always this self-deprecating when you’re drunk?”

She sighed. “Never been this drunk before, so I don’t know.” She peered up at me. “Wait. You said sexy-ass legs.”

I laughed. “Yes, I did.”

“Sexy ass legs, like sexy ass and legs, or sexy-ass legs, wherein sexy-ass is one word hyphenated?”

I snorted. “Does it matter?”

“Yes. It does. I have to know what you meant. So I can remember this moment.”

“What moment?”

“The moment in which I finally find a smidgen of validation that I am, in fact, still an attractive woman. See, Twinkle Mouse, my ex, really fucked me up. Did a number on my self-esteem.” She rubbed her beautiful face with both hands, frustrated. “God, you must really find this maudlin poor-me bullshit super sexy, huh? Really an attractive look for me, I bet.”

I squeezed her hand. “Well, with any luck, you won’t remember any of this tomorrow.”

“Yeah, but you will.”

“Everybody gets drunk and stupid sometimes, Charlie. No worries.” I eyed the bustle going on in the side-stage area. “I promise you, I’ll find you every bit as goddamn breathtaking when you’re sober as I do now. But, I have to work. You stay here, and I’ll check on you.”

She nodded, and slumped backward, resting her head on the back of the couch. I fetched a couple bottles of water from a nearby mini-fridge, cracked one and put it in her hand.

“Drink this, yeah?”

“Okay.” She sipped at it. “Hydrology is important.”

“Hydrology?”

“Being watered.”

I snickered. “You mean hydration?”

“Shut up. Just let me be wrong.” She sipped again. “Go away. You have to do whatever kind of work a tall dark and handsome man named Crow does at a place like this.”

“I’m the guitar tech for Myles North.”

She perked up. “Ooooh. My little sister has a major crush on him. If she knew I might possibly meet him through you, she’d be super jealous.”

“I’m sure I could set something up.”

“Might not be a good idea. My sister eats men for breakfast and has moved on by lunch. She’d just chew him up and spit him out.” She cackled. “Although I have a feeling she swallows.”

I guffawed. “Wow, that was some serious shade, Charlie.”

“She knows I love her. Plus, it’s true.” She looks around. “I need Lexie. She’ll get into trouble without me.”

Or you will, without her, I thought, but I didn’t say a word.

“Her name is Lexie?”

She nodded. “Lexie Goode. She looks like me, but a slutty gypsy version. Shorter, bigger butt and boobs. Big ol’ boobies. You’ll like ‘em. Just go out there and look for the slutty gypsy.”

“I think gypsy is a derogatory term, you know.”

“Well, that’s the most accurate word for her look. It works for her, but that’s just what I’d call it. You can’t say slutty to her, though, or she’ll skin you alive and eat your balls.”