Page 38 of Not in the Plans (London Lightning #1)

Chapter Thirty-One

TAG

“ Y ou have any plans tonight?” Alfie asks. “Want to grab a drink once we get back?”

“You don’t have to keep me occupied to keep my mind off Liv, you know that, right?” I kick my feet out into the aisle, stretching.

After recovering last weekend with a win, practice went well this week and we managed to scrape out a win tonight.

No matter what these guys do, whenever I slow down enough to let my mind wander, Liv invades my thoughts.

Her leaving wrecked me. I wish I could say it didn’t, but it did.

“Next time I’m not going to let you say no.”

“Pretty sure you’re the reason I’m in this mess.”

“It’s his fault?” Jack asks from the opposite side of the bus. “What does Alfie have to do with you being a sad sack?”

“He’s the one that invited me out my first night here.”

The fateful night I met the woman that has since left me and shattered my heart. But that’s not something I need to get into right now.

“Ah. Right.” Jack nods. “You sure you don’t need that drink?”

I shake my head, resting my hands over my stomach. “Nah. I’m going to head home and crash. I’ll be in early before the game tomorrow.”

Alfie laughs. “You know you’re allowed to enjoy the win, right?”

“Hey. I’m going to enjoy it tonight. Then back to work tomorrow.”

The city flashes by as we get closer and closer to our destination. Do I want to spend the night by myself? No. But at least a good night’s rest and studying film tomorrow is going to benefit the team.

By the time we’re pulling into the parking lot, I’m beat. Guys are filing off the bus as we follow them off.

“I’ll see you guys tomorrow, alright?”

“See ya,” Alfie calls out.

Grabbing my bag, I stop dead in my tracks. Standing under the security light is Liv.

Olivia.

What the hell?

“Hello.”

“What are you doing here?”

“Umm, well…you see,” she starts. “You didn’t answer my emails.”

“That’s it?” I heft my bag higher on my shoulder. “I didn’t answer your emails?”

Liv adjusts the black hat that sits on her head. “Well, I did ask you to meet. You didn’t respond.”

“Didn’t feel the need to. You said everything you needed to in your office that day. ”

Liv clears her throat, shifting back and forth on her feet. It’s clear she’s nervous.

“I, umm, I actually have more to say to you.”

“You do?”

I stuff my hands in my pockets so they don’t reach out to her on their own accord.

“A lot.” Liv pulls out her phone. “I umm, I actually typed it out. If you didn’t answer, I was going to email you. I can read that to you if you want.”

This is a new side of Liv. I’ve never seen her nervous. Fidgeting.

“If it’s easier for you, go ahead.”

Liv clears her throat. “I was wrong, Tag. Growing up, being perfect was the only way to get my parents’ attention.

Anything less than that and they didn’t care.

It’s in my nature to have everything be neat and orderly.

You, Tag, are not neat and definitely not orderly.

You made things messy and it scared me. When we ran into my parents, it brought up everything from my childhood.

Getting perfect marks in school. Playing the piano.

Being the best at everything. But after seeing a therapist, I realized messy is okay.

You make me feel messy. And I like that. ”

“You’re seeing a therapist?”

She nods. “It’s been hard. Picking at all these feelings from when I was growing up hasn’t been easy.”

“Then why are you doing it?”

Tears fill her eyes. “Losing you brought it all into stark clarity. I was working towards a plan that lived up to the expectations of my parents. To get their attention. It’s taken a lot to realize that I don’t need a plan.”

I smile. “Who are you and what have you done with my Olivia?”

That earns me a watery smile. “It’s been hard, trust me. It’s not easy to acknowledge everything you’ve wanted in life is to please people that don’t love you.”

I shake my head, cupping her cheek as the tears escape. “I’ll love you, Liv. I’ll love you so much that you won’t want for anything in life.”

Her hands close around my wrists. Fuck. I’ve missed the feel of her. The softness of her touch that lights me on fire.

“Even if I’m not perfect?”

“I don’t want you to be perfect. If that’s what you want, fine. But I love all sides of you. The perfect side you show the world. The messy side you only give me. The sad little girl that wants nothing more than to be loved. Let me love you, Olivia. All of you.”

“You really want to love me?”

“There’s no choice for me, Liv. I love you. From that very first hello, I was a goner for you.”

“I love you, Tag. I still have a lot of work to do,” Liv confesses. “But I want to be with you. If you’ll have me.”

I fuse my lips to hers. It’s like coming home. It’s the best feeling in the world, swallowing her gasps.

I drop my forehead to hers, brushing away her tears. “I’ve missed you, baby. So fucking much.”

“I’m sorry.”

I kiss her again—because I can. “I don’t want to hear those words again. I’m sorry that you had to go through all of it.”

“Thank you for showing me what it’s like to be loved, Tag.”

“Always. Every day. I will shower you in so much love, Olivia, that you are going to get sick of me.”

She shakes her head. “Never. I could never get sick of you, Stanley. ”

I steal one more kiss. “Then why don’t I get started and show you just how much I do love you?”

“Perfect.”