Page 33 of Not in the Plans (London Lightning #1)
Chapter Twenty-Seven
TAG
“ Y ou want to grab lunch after film?” Alfie asks. “I want to go over a few more things about the upcoming game with Manchester.”
Manchester is leading the league. They’ve been on fire this season. Their center is unstoppable.
“Can we meet later this afternoon? I’ve got plans.”
“With Liv?” He smirks.
“Yes.”
I don’t actually have plans with her, but I’m hoping she might be up for lunch. Ever since we bumped into her parents, I’ve seen her sparingly.
She didn’t come with me over New Year’s, and in the few days since then, it’s been almost radio silence.
“Things seem to be going well.”
“More or less.” I shrug a shoulder. “Now, let’s go because it’s time to study film.”
“You got it.”
The team is already gathered in the locker room when I pull up the footage from Manchester’s last game .
We work through our plan of attack, highlighting their best players and their go-to moves.
“Kadlec tends to favor the left side of the ice. He pulls the defensemen over there, leaving Singleton all on his own. It gives them great opportunities from that side of the ice. Don’t let them trick you into leaving him open. Play your position to give Simmons the best chance in the net.”
“He tends to shoot stick side, Coach,” Simmons says. “I’ll watch for the fake out, but I’m ready.”
“I know you are,” I confirm.
Manchester might be the best team in the league, but we have the most heart. I see it day in and day out with these guys.
Sure, we’ve had our fair share of losses this season, but they keep moving forward. They study film, see what they need to improve upon, and do it. It makes my job as their coach that much easier.
I love these guys and hope to keep coaching them for years to come.
“Alright. Let’s hit the weight room before taking the ice. I want to run some conditioning drills. Make sure we keep up with them on the ice.”
“Yes, Coach,” they echo. I watch as they funnel out toward the weight room.
“I’ll be back before we hit the ice,” I tell Jack and Alfie.
“Tell Liv we said hi,” Alfie says.
I wave at him before heading to my office to grab the sandwiches I picked up earlier. Hopefully getting Liv’s favorite will warm her up.
I wave to the people in her department as I pass through.
“Hey, Liv.” I knock on the door and peek my head inside. “Lunch? ”
She peeks one eye open at me before going back to her computer screen. “Not today.”
“Everyone has to eat.” I smile at her, walking inside and closing the door behind me.
“Not today. I have a meeting in twenty minutes to discuss the new league initiatives and how they will affect the bottom line of the team.”
“That’s still twenty minutes. I got your favorite sandwich.”
Liv smooths a nonexistent piece of hair back into place. It’s perfectly smoothed into a low bun at the nape of her neck. Her blouse is buttoned up to her neck and her blazer is pressed.
“That’s twenty minutes I have to prepare. I will eat after.”
I blow out a breath and rest my elbows on my knees. “Liv, talk to me. What’s going on?”
“Nothing is going on. I’m busy. I have a lot of projects going on after the holidays and I don’t have time for things I used to.”
“You mean me?”
It shouldn’t sting as much as it does.
My schedule is crazy. Between practice, games, and travel, I devote every spare minute of time to Liv. It’s not a sacrifice because I love her. But trying to get twenty minutes from her is too much to ask?
“Tag.” Liv finally turns her attention to me, a sad look on her face. “You’re asking too much of me.”
“To see you? Sorry I’m such a burden,” I scoff.
“You’re not a burden!” she shouts. Her eyes go wide before she takes a deep breath, running a hand down her blouse. “But you’re not the plan.”
I hate that fucking word of hers. Plan.
Everything in Olivia’s life has to be perfect. Lined up. Neat as a pin. I knew that the minute I ran into her at the rink on my first day.
Ever since then, she’s been showing more and more of herself to me. I get to see the messy side of her. The one that she doesn’t show just anyone.
Now it’s back to the prim and proper side of her. Ever since her parents showed up, she was thrown for a loop. She won’t let me in. Won’t talk to me about anything.
“So? Screw your plan.”
“Tag. I can’t do this anymore.”
“What?”
Those are the last words I expected to hear come out of her mouth.
Can’t do this anymore?
“What happened, Liv? We had a really good thing going here, and then one run-in with your parents and you’re different.”
“That’s the real me. Is the real me.”
“No, it’s not. The real you is the one that takes risks. Does things that she normally wouldn’t. Lets her hair down and has fun.”
Liv shakes her head. “No. That’s the messy Liv. The real me is the one that has a plan. If I want everything by the time I’m twenty-eight, I need to get serious about my life.”
“And the fact that I love you means nothing?”
Not exactly the way I wanted to confess my feelings to her, but I guess this is what we’re doing today.
“No. This is my life, Stanley, and I get to say what I want it to be.”
“That’s it? There’s no chance of a future because I make life messy?”
“That’s it. ”
I drop the sandwiches on her desk and stand, but not before I leave her with parting words.
"Olivia, if you learn one thing from me, let it be this. Life isn’t perfect.
It’s messy and raw and real, and that’s what you have to look forward to, plan or not.
I don’t know what number your parents did on you, but we all deserve to have someone in our lives that loves us.
And make no mistake, Liv. I love you. I love every side you give me.
Even the ones you think might not be perfect.
You’re perfectly imperfect, and it’s what I love most about you. ”
I drink my fill of the woman sitting at her desk. The one that isn’t showing me an ounce of emotion. Her mask is in place—the one that doesn’t show the world anything—and I know I’ve lost her.
“Take care, Stanley.”
I guess I really didn’t know Liv as well as I thought I did.
I don’t say anything else as I leave her office. There’s nothing else to say. Because what else is there when the woman you love breaks your heart?