Page 57 of Not In The Contract

“What do you think?”

“I think it’s almost scary,” she admitted after a long pause. “When I first started studying, everything seemed too big. So vast that I was convinced that someone like me wouldn’t be able to make a dent, let alone change an entire system. All these years later, I’m still afraid of it. But the fear looks different.”

“What does it look like?” I pressed, unwittingly hanging onto her words.

“Kind of like the way you described it.” She smiled. “Like there’s a first step.”

Something in my chest fluttered, pleasant and unsettling. “Shall we get going?” I asked, almost jumping out of my chair.

She flinched a little. “Where are we heading?” she asked, grabbing her phone off the desk.

“To the orphanage construction site,” I said, rushing out the door.

I blew past Katya who flagged me down. “Yeah?”

“It’s your sister’s birthday soon,” she reminded me, and I swallowed a groan. “You asked me to remind you a month in advance. Can I start getting in contact with our event planners?”

“Shit,” I murmured, my heart squeezing. My schedule was about to nosedive. “Yeah, get Alan and his team ready. I have no idea what Jamie expects this year, but it has to be perfect.”

“Roger that, boss.” Katya grinned, something unreadable glinting in her dark eyes.

“Is Jamie’s birthday always a big event?” Devon asked as she caught up to me.

“It’s the biggest event in my life,” I joked, the anxiety crawling up my throat.

The car ride to the site was silent, and I had the distinct expression that Devon was turning my words over. It turned my stomach. But there was little I could do to appease the other people in my life where Jamie was concerned. I’d fought with almost every person I held dear because of it.

Not that I cared for Devon in that way. That didn’t mean I wanted her to confront me about it. Jamie was my little sister. If I didn’t live for her, what else would I live for?

19. Doubts

Devon

Mylegbouncedbeneaththe table, my fingers pulling at the skin around my nails relentlessly. I was early, something that didn’t sit right with me because I’d never enjoyed waiting. And for once, Paula was late. Meaning I had to wait even longer.

The topic of discussion for today’s meeting was sure to be uncomfortable. At least it would be for me. I anxiously ran over the notes I’d made on my laptop, reading and rereading them until they became gibberish in my head. If Paula didn’t arrive soon, I’d book it back to Tamera’s place like my ass was on fire.

“Sorry to keep you waiting!”

I looked up just in time to see Paula’s colorful tote bag swinging wildly around her body as she jogged over. I pressed my lips together in some semblance of a smile.

“No worries,” I lied, worrying abouteverythingthat could be worried about. “Is everything okay?”

She huffed as she took the other seat and dropped her bag on the table with a dramatic flourish.

“I shouldn’t lie.” She sighed. “There’s a new professor who started last week but he’s been abysmal, to say the least. I have students complaining about him left, right, and center. I’m about to lose my mind.”

I frowned. “Shouldn’t the dean step in?”

“Oh please, the department head won’t even hear about it,” she scoffed. “But that’s not what we’re here for. How are things with you? Are you happy?”

I swallowed the cringe and lifted a shoulder in a non-committal half shrug. “I can’t say for sure,” I said honestly.

“Why not?” Paula frowned, leaning forward on her elbows.

“I don’t think Alex and I are a good fit to be honest,” I explained, my cheeks heating in embarrassment. “Our lifestyles are so different that I feel like I’m constantly treading water to keep up with her.”

“It won’t be forever,” Paula pointed out, and I deflated.