Page 49

FORTY-NINE

ROSE

I text Alfie to meet me in the courtyard.

He’s wearing his school uniform like a model student. His shirt is a bright white, his blazer crisply ironed. His hair is immaculately styled, clean and smooth and immobile. It’s as though he’s auditioning for the role of my husband. That’s a silly thought, though. His audition is complete. And it was conducted with far more secrecy and skill than I could ever have anticipated.

He approaches me at the fountain. A prompt response to my text. He must have already been on the grounds.

“Mum’s in there right now,” he says, as we sit side by side on the fountain’s edge. “She seemed very confident we’ll be able to straighten everything out. I think Danni’s going to be fine.”

I slump backward, so far that the spray from the fountain tickles my forehead. “That’s such a relief,” I say. “I’m in your debt, Alfie. I really am.”

He holds a hand out, startled. “Don’t fall in.”

“Who cares if I do? Nothing could ruin my mood right now.”

He beams.

“Really, I’ve been thinking about all you’ve done for me over the past several months, and it blows me away. First, there was the time you offered to fake date me for the cameras. Well, you couldn’t have possibly known this, but that day someone had told William that Danni and I were in a relationship. So, frankly, the offer couldn’t have come at a better time to douse that fire.”

Alfie’s smile becomes a little forced. Or am I imagining that? “Really?” he asks, as though he can barely believe the serendipity of it all.

“Yes. The whole thing was also being fueled by an anonymous account that was mostly taking photos from Molly’s profile. We’ll never know who that was, either. Could’ve been anybody. Your ice-skating idea was wonderful for shutting down those rumors, and it was an inspired idea to bring along someone with a crush on Danni to monopolize her the whole day. I know I messed it up by forgetting myself when she got hurt, but you did do your best to stop me from getting too close to her while there were cameras. Trust me, I’m very grateful for everything you’ve done.”

It’s abundantly clear Alfie doesn’t know how to reply now. He just sits, his back rod straight, as he waits for me to get to my point.

“Your support following Florence’s party was especially helpful. Oh, by the way, it turns out some friends of yours were responsible for the photo leak. Speaking of consent, I’ve been thinking about our kiss. It’s funny to me you found it so strained in hindsight, because at the time, I thought you simply couldn’t tell I didn’t want to kiss you. You did it twice, after all. But I’ve had so many kisses since then, and now that I think about it, a wanted kiss feels absolutely nothing like a forced one. I’m not actually sure you were confused at all. Anyway, I digress. Edmund did mention to Danni that the video of her was put in a group chat he’s in with his Ashford friends. Of course, it’s impossible to know who sent it to the press from there. But, forgive me, I’m probably updating you on something you’re already well aware of. You were in that group chat, yes? Surely. With all your friends?”

“Rosie—”

“And now today. Once more, you’re here to put out the fire and rescue me. Although, do you think your mother would know who it was, exactly, in the alumni association that put on the pressure to expel Danni in the first place? I can’t think of anyone in there who would want to hurt Danni, but”—I wave a hand—“sometimes your enemies hide in plain sight.”

Alfie stopped smiling long ago. I wonder what he’s thinking. I wish I could draw it out of him by force, a scarf from a magician’s sleeve. It’s a shame, really. No matter what he says, there will never be a way for me to know again whether I can believe a word that passes his lips.

“I’m not your enemy,” he says. Truth or lie?

“You hurt me, and you hurt Danni. Repeatedly. And I don’t understand why,” I say.

“I’ve known you my whole life,” he says. “Rosie, I know you. And you are a wonderful person, but you are impulsive. And you have a laissez-faire approach to life whenever things are working out. You aren’t careful to keep it that way. Harriet found out about you and Danni, and people were discussing you online. More people would have found out if William wasn’t informed. So, I called him and made sure he knew, so he could help you. I only told the person whose job it was to look out for you.”

I swallow. “William… knew the tip came from you? He told me it came from Bramppath.”

“Well, the person who figured you and Danni out came from Bramppath, so it wasn’t a complete lie. But yes, I asked him not to tell you I looped him in, naturally. You wouldn’t have taken it well.”

“Wouldn’t I?” I ask dryly.

“You mean well, but you just don’t think politically sometimes. So, William and I had to do it for you, to protect you. He told me he believed the best way to help your reputation was to give the papers something else to write about. He thought I would be the perfect person to assist, because I care about you. He got the idea from your father. He’d been talking about you and me dating for the papers for a while, apparently.”

“You called me,” I recall suddenly. “Right before he did.”

“Yes, he suggested it. He felt if you knew I was comfortable with you using me for the papers, you might be less resistant. And then he called you and offered to assist you in keeping your relationship with Danni a secret. We teamed up to help you. Was any of that so awful?”

“Did you send William the screenshots of people gossiping online, too?” I ask, before I realize. “Wait, were they you ?”

Alfie stops meeting my eyes. Apparently he doesn’t feel quite so justified in this part of the story. “The comments on Molly’s video of you weren’t. But I was worried that people were already suspecting you, and I wanted you to realize how easily your carelessness might out you online. So, yes, I made a post with some examples of the ways you had slipped up with Danni. But I purposely picked an all-but-abandoned forum, somewhere I knew wouldn’t actually kickstart a rumor. I hoped Danni might get an alert from her name being mentioned, because it couldn’t happen all that often. But as far as I could tell, you didn’t know about the post, so I sent it to William. Just so he could see how careless you were being. He needed to know how to help you change your behavior.”

If it’s true, then it was a remarkable gamble he took, relying on nobody seeing the forum post. All it would have taken was one wrong person to share the post, and the rumors would have immediately snowballed.

“I was supportive of you and Danni. I wanted you to see how easy it would be for you to be with me publicly, and her in private. I even made sure you spent Valentine’s Day together.”

“You invited a date for her. A guy who had a crush on her.”

“Exactly. So it would look like a convincing double date, and hopefully quell any suspicions people might have had regarding the two of you. That’s how you do this, Rosie. You manipulate the media before it can manipulate you. How else were you planning on hiding a secret girlfriend your entire life? Hoping for the best?”

“You outed Danni. You sent that video out. Did William know that part?”

“She was kissing girls in public, Rosie. I didn’t make her do that. And I’m sure William would agree, a story you control is a thousand times safer than a story controlled by someone else. By letting Danni face some temporary consequences now, I taught her a lesson she won’t forget anytime soon. She won’t slip up again.”

“Or, rather,” I say, “you knew that if that video went public, your mother would have a good reason to push for Danni’s expulsion. And that, with Danni on the line, you and William would be able to make me promise almost anything you wanted from me.”

Alfie shrugs a single shoulder. “If we’re getting engaged eventually anyway, why should we delay it, when it’s the perfect tool to rebuild your reputation?”

I can’t help it. I laugh at this. Not because it’s particularly funny. But because it’s so monstrous. “You know,” I say, “if you had put it like that—if you had appealed to my logic, rather than targeting Danni to appeal to my emotions? I may have agreed with you. It’s entirely possible I might have gotten engaged to you, Alfie. But you’re talking about me like I’m a bonfire you had under control. And for some unimaginable reason, you decided to throw gas on me.”

And the most ironic part of this? Before Alfie’s decision to toy with me, I was logic personified. I barely had access to my emotions.

If I’m a wildfire now, it’s partly because of him. And it’s the only favor he’s done for me I’m even slightly tempted to thank him for.

“Danni was never going to get expelled,” he says, as though I don’t understand. As though that’s the problem with all of this. “It was just a small story to prevent future ones. Like a prescribed burn,” he says, looking pleased with himself for adding to my metaphor.

I feel a shaking, hot fury suddenly spark in my stomach and spread through my veins, like molten spiderwebs igniting beneath my skin. I think I might actually hate him. “You weren’t manipulating the media, Alfie. You were manipulating me.”

“Only because I had to. To protect you. I care about you more than anybody, Rosie.”

At this, I slowly rise to my feet, and look down at him. “I believe you think you do,” I tell him. “Or, at least, I believe you’ve convinced yourself you do. But your eyes are empty.” I clench my jaw as he stares back at me. “And once you see it, you can’t unsee it,” I finish, before I leave him without waiting for a response.

I make a beeline for the office, and shut myself in the first vacant room. It belongs to the head of the English department, Mr. Promton. Hopefully he doesn’t return anytime soon. Steadying myself on the bookcase, I gasp for air and double over, my vision swimming. Then I shut my eyes, shove my fist in my mouth as a muffler, and scream until the air leaves my lungs.

I am a wildfire. And I intend to burn it all down.