Page 38

THIRTY-EIGHT

DANNI

It seems like I’ve only been asleep for a couple of minutes when a gentle but persistent rapping on my door drags me awake. I try to tune it out—consciousness is a hard no after the day I’ve just had—but eventually the knocking gets too annoying and I stumble out of bed. I open the door a crack to find Rose standing there, holding a folded blanket in front of her. “Were you sleeping?” she asks, pushing past me to get inside.

“It’s, like, one in the morning, so yes,” I said, rubbing the sleep from my eyes. “What are you doing?”

“I couldn’t sleep. Also, you never messaged me back after your nap, and I was worried.”

I climb back into bed and find my warm spot, pulling the blankets back up. “Get in,” I offer, patting the space beside me.

She crouches in front of me. I think she’s going to kiss me, but instead she whispers, “Actually, can you get dressed? I want to go for a walk.”

“It’s freaking freezing out there,” I groan. “And my bed is so toasty. Can’t we just cuddle and fall asleep and pretend nothing outside the room exists at all?”

She holds out the blanket in response, looking proud of herself for her foresight. Yeah. Okay. It’s not gonna help much, but I can’t say no to that face, can I?

We steal down the hallway without saying a word. Her bodyguard isn’t with her, I notice. It’s the first time I’ve seen Rose leave the nearby buildings without one of them. There’s a tense moment when she gingerly opens the front door, and it creaks like an animal in agony, but no one comes out of their rooms. I can’t help breaking into silent, nervous laughter while we cross the courtyard. “Why are we doing this?” I ask.

“Because I don’t think we’re going to get a chance to see each other outside our rooms for a long time.”

My heart sinks. I want to ask her for more information, but I also don’t. I can figure out what she means from context, and I just can’t . I can’t handle any more bad news. So, I suck it up, and follow her into the night.

We reach the edge of the woods, and I zip up my parka. With winter only just behind us, it’s not snowing anymore, but it’s damn well close to it.

Rose cups my hands in hers. “Where are your gloves?” she chides.

“I forgot them.”

Wordlessly, she takes the gloves off her own hands and passes them to me.

“I don’t want to go in the woods, Rose,” I say, blowing onto my gloved hands to heat them up. “It’s creepy at night.”

“We lurk around the woods all the time,” she says airily.

“It’s not all the time, ” I protest. “And usually we have Theodore with us. Why didn’t you wake him up, by the way?”

Rose looks into the woods grimly. “I need to talk to you.”

My blood goes cold. “No.”

“No?”

“No.” I plant my feet firmly and cross my arms. “You’re not breaking up with me. We’re not having a serious talk. It’s not happening. I was outed to the entire world today. I don’t need to get my heart broken tonight. I need my fucking girlfriend to hold me and tell me everything’s going to be okay.”

I’m surprised I get that far before the tears come and cut me off. Rose has me in her arms before the first sob escapes, and she pulls me fiercely into her chest. “I’m not trying to break up with you,” she says, and I melt with relief. “Danni, I told you I was in at the start, and when I say I’m in, that means no matter what. You’re stuck with me, I’m afraid.”

“I just had a really bad day,” I cry, and she starts methodically stroking my hair.

“I know,” she whispers. “I’m sorry I woke you up.”

“No, I’m glad you did. I wanted to see you. I just…” I grip her coat for support, and she holds me, standing steady, until my breathing goes back to normal and my heartbeat slows down from the fright. God fucking damnit.

“So, what did you want to talk about?” I ask, still hugging her.

I rise and fall with her chest as she sucks in a lungful of freezing air. “I keep thinking about the student from Bramppath who told the palace about us, right at the start.”

“What about her?”

“It’s just, I can’t see how it could’ve been some random student. We were careful. We were hiding it. For someone to have caught on, they must have known us well. They must have been really close to us. Probably someone in Dewitt.”

I pull back and look at her in horror. “You think?”

“It’s the only thing that makes any sense to me,” she says. “And I’ve also been thinking about the online rumors. And the video of you and Harriet being sent into the media. It’s been making me feel surrounded by people who want to hurt us.”

“Me, too.”

“But what if we aren’t surrounded? What if there’s only one person, and they’re really close?”

I don’t know which thought is more stomach-churning. “Like who?”

Rose shrugs. “I don’t know. But what I do know is William said we have to pretend we aren’t friends anymore. Even to other Bramppath students. But, Danni, you should know they threatened to get rid of you.”

“Get rid of me?” I ask sharply. The first thought that pops into my mind is a man in the distance with a sniper rifle.

“He said they wanted you out of Bramppath.”

“Oh.” Yeah that sounds more realistic.

“So you need to know that’s what’s at risk here. If we keep seeing each other and we’re caught by the wrong person—”

“I’m not breaking up,” I say fiercely. “I don’t care what they threaten us with.”

Unless it’s a sniper, maybe.

Rose’s face is serious. “Don’t be flippant about that, Danni. It wouldn’t necessarily stop at removing you from the school. They could send your family away. You and your mum, your visas…”

Our visas? I try not to let on how much the thought of that rattles me. “It wouldn’t come to that, surely?”

“No, not surely. They did it to my dad. They deported his girlfriend, when he wasn’t much older than me.”

Okay, well that’s terrifying. And horrifying. But it won’t happen, because we won’t get caught. I’m not letting myself be bullied. Not again. Not anymore.

When Rose sees my look of defiance, she gives a weary kind of nod. She doesn’t look one bit disappointed, though. “Yes, well, that means we’re going to have to hide it completely. No friendship, no contact, as far as anyone but the two of us are concerned. We message each other using different contact names, or burner phones. We see each other once everyone else is asleep only . And we tell everyone we know we’re staying away from each other. Including Eleanor and Molly. Including Theodore and Sidney.”

“You think it could be one of them?” I ask, aghast.

“I think the stakes are too high to assume anything right now. Until we know more, the only people I trust are standing right here.”

It doesn’t make any sense to me. Why would Theodore or Sidney want to interfere in our lives? Why would Eleanor or Molly? But at the same time, I get what Rose is saying. An awful lot of anonymous strangers started becoming very interested in our business all at once. I think of the first forum poster, the one who created the essay using photos and videos from Molly’s socials. I figured it was one of Molly’s many fans. But what if it isn’t a fan? What if it’s one of Molly’s… friends?

Shivering, I turn back to the woods. In the daylight they seem kind of quaint, welcoming, like something from a fairy tale. One of the nice ones, not “Hansel and Gretel.” Now, they’ve got more of a Blair Witch Project vibe.

“Done,” I say. “It’s just between us.”

“Between us.”

“But as long as it’s just the two of us? I’m not setting foot in those damn woods.”

“No one can see us in there, though,” Rose whines. “We can do whatever we want, and we won’t need to be locked in a bedroom for once.”

“To be fair,” I say, spinning in a circle, “no one can see us right here, either.”

She looks around, thoughtfully. Then she lunges for me and wraps her arms around my middle, lifting me off the ground.

“ Rose, ” I cry, kicking into midair. “Let me go!”

“Make me.”

“This is kidnapping,” I protest as she walks me toward the trees.

She stops just inside the border of trees, approximately two feet into the woods, still holding me. “Now, isn’t this romantic ?” she asks, grunting under my weight.

“Put me down,” I order.

She does, and I swat at her. She dodges me, laughing. “Just because you’re the princess,” I say, “doesn’t mean”—she grabs my wrists—“you decide what everyone does.”

I try to keep glaring at her, but I break into a smile after a few seconds. It gets even wider as she steers me to the nearest tree and wraps my arms around the back of it, kissing me and pinning me in place, my back against the trunk, her hands on my wrists, and her hips against mine. Eventually, I wrench my arms free and draw her into me. We’re a tangle of arms and legs, tied up like a knot that was never supposed to be unwound.

“You don’t get away with it just because you’re hot, either,” I say against her lips when she pulls away.

She pretends to sulk. “But that’s the opposite of what I was raised to believe,” she says, letting me go.

I walk out of the woods, mostly just to prove a point. I’m giggling, too, now, though, so when Rose chases after me and pulls me back into another kiss I don’t protest.

Her hair is messy from the wind, and her eyes are crinkled, and her coat has slid off one shoulder. Even after all this time, it still surprises me when I stop and take in just how beautiful she is. And not just physically. It strikes me, looking at her now, that I’d do anything to protect this girl. Anything she needs, I’ll do it.

“I don’t think I’d be okay without you,” I say.

Rose runs a thumb over my jaw. “You’ve got me,” she says. “You’re not going to lose me.”

“I’m one wrong move from losing you,” I say.

She shakes her head. “Not as long as you’re on this earth. There’s nowhere they can send you that I won’t follow. You… how can I even explain how much you mean to me? You’ve redefined what happiness is. Each night, I climb into bed excited because when I wake, I get to live another day knowing you. And I know I let you get hurt last night, but I swear right here and right now that will never happen again. I won’t allow it, because watching you in pain is a thousand times worse than bearing it myself, and I simply don’t care what gets thrown at me anymore. The only thing that matters is you, Danni. I wanted to become a better person, but you make me good. I don’t think I realized it before, but I do now. I need you, and I need the version of me I become when I’m with you. If I lose you, I lose me, and I will fight for you until I’m broken and bloodied if that’s what it takes.”

I stare at her, completely stunned. “Rose…”

“I love you,” she finishes fiercely, and for just a heartbeat, the world stops.

“I love you, too,” I hear myself say, and it’s the truth. I’ve known it’s the truth for a while now. It scares the shit out of me, but there it is.

It’s incredible, I think, that one day could hold one of the worst, and one of the best, moments of my life, all in one.

She breaks into a grin like sunshine through clouds. “You do?”

“Of course I do.”

She takes a few steps away from me, tips her head back, and takes a shaky breath. “I love you.” She laughs.

“Don’t say it too loud.”

“I love you,” she says again, raising her voice and holding her arms out to the side. “I’m in love with Danni Blythe. I will always be in love with Danni Blythe. Make it the front-page news for all I bloody care.”

The only response is the wind, and no one can hear us but the animals in the woods.