Page 3 of No Strings

“Hey big bro.” I try to smile, but moving my face in any way, sets it on fire, not to mention re-splits my lip. I hate that my one repeating thought is; it’s been worse.

“I’m going to fucking kill him!” He yells while searching around the apartment. “He is fucking dead.”

“He isn’t here.”

“Ethan get your fucking slimy ass out here now, you fucking coward.”

“Shane,” I yell to get his attention but immediately regret it. “He isn’t here.”

“You’re coming home. Now.” He orders, always the older brother, always playing the protector.

“I’m not arguing, I already have everything I want and need packed.” I motion to the duffle bag.

Shane picks it up while I grab the backpack. I leave the keys on the kitchen bench. The movement has the light catching the small diamonds on the promise ring he gave me on graduation night. I slip that off and place it next to the keys. I close the door behind me and on this chapter of my life.

The drive home is quiet. Which is very Shane, but I can feel his anger coming off him in waves. I’m almost choking on it.

About halfway, he seems to have calmed slightly. And when we hit an hour out of Barrenridge he finally asks, “Why didn’t you say anything?”

“I didn’t want to worry you.”

“Morgan!” His hands tighten on the steering wheel, knuckles turning white.

“Because he wasn’t always like this. And when the good times were good, they were amazing. I thought this was just a dark period. If I showed him I was there and how much I loved him I’d get those good times—I’d get the old Ethan—back.” I dash away the only tear I will shed for that man.

Shane says my name again but with pity etched in every letter, and I hate it.

“Don’t Shane.”

He moves his hand to rest it on my shoulder, but he moves quickly causing me to flinch. Shane catches it and drops his hand.

Soon enough we’re pulling into our parents driveway, and I’m hit with every reason why I left here in the first place.

Drunk father.

Emotionally absent yet abusive mother.

And an overprotective, overbearing, keeping everything running older brother.

It’s all so stifling.

I don’t blame Shane for being the way he is. He had to play the role our parents neglected to fill while we were growing up. While I had him, he had no one.

Well, he had his best friend, Rhys. But even Rhys left him. I feel bad for Shane, but I don’t let that show or he’llgive me the same speech as always. I chose to stay here, don’t pity me for my decision. Ok, so a speech is a bit of a stretch. But for Shane, that’s a whole-ass conversation.

I think I’m back in town for five days before I feel brave enough to leave the house. The bruising has turned yellow and has faded completely in some places. But I still wear makeup to try to cover it up. I decided that the general store is a safe place to start. But on my way there, I think I see Ethan. I don’t see his face, but the figure and the way he walked has my mind racing. I have to convince myself that it is in fact not him.

The next day I go for a walk with Mum, and like the day before I think I see him. I hate the way this prick is plaguing my mind.

He hasn’t come looking for me. Why would he? He has Evie, let her be his new punching bag.

I shouldn’t think like that, but at this point, I’m just glad it’s no longer me.

The next few days are the same. Me thinking I see him, feeling eyes on me. I feel like I’m going crazy, constantly looking over my shoulder, constantly fighting my mind. It has gotten to the point where I’m once again locking myself up at home. I’m even keeping the curtains closed.

I can’t ignore it anymore.

He has to be here.