Page 102 of No Strings

“Fine.” I say through clenched teeth. “Be like that, you stubborn asshole.” And with that I pick up my bag.

The dining table chair scrapes over the floor. “You’re calling me stubborn? You realise you’re leaving because I didn’t fuck you yesterday? So, who’s really the stubborn one?”

I turn to face him. “You’re the one that called Shane.”

“You told me to!”

“Yeah but, fuck… Rhys let me—” I step towards him, pleading with him to listen, but he once again cuts me off as I try find the right words.

“Whatever you’re going to say won’t change the fact that you’re leaving. So just leave.”

I watch as he turns his back and walks to his room. When he gets to his door, and he pauses, I think he’ll look back, but he pushes into his room. I just need to utter the words; Rhys I’m falling for you; I want you and only you. But they don’t come, because what future would we have? We’re too different. He likes it here. The work, the seclusion. And I, I just need more.

My heart is breaking more in this moment than I think it ever did with Ethan. This is my own doing; I pushed him away. I walk out of his house and wait on the veranda. Beau and Davis arrive along with Brent and Molly.

Molly is crying. “Do you really have to go?”

“Yeah, baby I do. But you have my number, you can call me anytime!”

She wraps her arms around my neck and squeezes as she buries her face into my neck. Tears prick the backs of my eyes. I do the best to ignore them even as she mutters, “I love you.”

“I love you too sweet girl, don’t forget to give them hell.” I squeeze her back and let go, allowing Brent to pull her up off me. He holds a crying Molly while I address him, “Sorry for all the chaos I brought.”

“You know you can stay?”

“I don’t belong here.” Is all I say. I can’t find many more words. Turning to Davis, I thank him for the knife, and apologise for letting them deal with the body. “Anytime Barbie.”

“Beau, it was, well it was something.”

He just laughs and wraps me in a hug. It’s not like him to not have something to say.

Dani and Miles pull up in the car; I don’t see Miles letting her out of his sights for a while.

Esky is at my feet, expecting to follow me to the car. I bend down and pick her up; her tail is wagging with excitement, making this hurt that little bit more. Putting my forehead to hers, I whisper to her, “Be a good girl, Esky.”

I pass her to Molly. Esky tries to get free, and Molly’s cries have turned to sobs. She buries her face into Esky’s fur. Brent holds both of them tighter, and offers me a small nod.

The tears I was desperately trying to hold back come flooding out as I get into the car.

“Ready?” Miles asks.

“More than I’ll ever be.” I look out the window one more time, and catch Rhys walking out of his place, and some small part of me hopes he is going to stop this; tell me to stay. But he just walks behind everyone and towards the sheds.

We had a no strings deal. Feelings weren’t meant to be involved. And now, I have to leave the one person who saw me for me and made me feel loved and safe; like I was home.

Stepping off the plane in Sydney, I spot Shane waiting for me. He waves, happy to see me. I try to smile, but my bottom lip quivers. He doesn’t hesitate to wrap me in his hold. He doesn’t ask, just mutters that it’s good to see me. I love that about Shane; he never pushes, but is always there.

My eyes are puffy and red, my nose is dripping, and I feel like I’ve been hit by a truck; all because I couldn’t utter four words.

Dani and Miles tried to get me to talk on the way to Burra Point, but that was futile. I apologised again for Ethan having Dani held at gun point, but they told me it wasn’t my fault.

Shane picks my bag from the bag return, and insists on carrying it to his car. I don’t protest. The drive back to Barrenridge is silent. Not hard to accomplish when I don’t want to talk, and Shane is almost allergic to it; but he is the one to break the silence.

“So, Rhys killed him?”

“I did.” I’m not sure if I’m in shock, or I just don’t care that I took someone’s life, but the way I say it, I almost seem bored by the statement.

“You what?”