Page 103 of No Strings

I face his wide-eyed expression, “What? You said if I killed anyone, you’d help me.”

“Well, yeah… Yeah, no I did, and I will.” And because I can feel the ‘but’ coming, I continue to stare at him. “Taking someone’s life, it can mess with you.”

“I’m fine, Shane.” And that is all I say before turning back to face outside, and continue to watch the landscape pass us by.

He just grunts and continues with the drive in silence. I’m sure he’s taking my silence as guilt, or that I’m breaking. And I am breaking; but not for the reason he thinks.

My phone vibrates. Hope flickers in my chest that it’s Rhys, but why would it be? With my phone in my hand, I turn it to see it’s not Rhys, but Molly. I open the message, and my heart breaks all over again.

Fresh tears roll down my cheeks as I look at the screen; a photo of Molly and Esky with the words:Miss You.

I flick the tears away. I have only been gone twelve hours, but it feels like a lifetime.

Two days ago, I was falling for my brother’s best friend. Two days ago, I felt whole. But now we’re states apart, and I feel more heart broken then I ever have.

RHYS

I watch the cloud of dust as Miles and Dani drive out, taking Morgan to the airport.

I refuse to acknowledge the feelings I have surrounding that.

Last night was rough. As soon as I heard the first scream, I instinctively got up, but when my hand rested on the door handle, I dropped it and went back to bed. Listening to her cries and screams, broke me that little bit more. I fought myself to stay put; she’ll have to deal with this when she gets back, so why not start now. I hated myself for thinking that, because it would also be the last night I got to hold her, so why not just give myself that?

And that’s the question I ask myself as I walk over to the sheds.

If I just gave her what she wanted, what she needed yesterday, I wouldn’t be here throwing myself into work. I could still have her next me while we did jobs together.

I’m so used to people leaving, but I thought Morgan would stay. But the rules of our agreement play over my mind.

Rule One- Shane never finds out.

Rule Two- We only sleep with each other.

Rule Three- This ends when she leaves.

Rule Four- Condoms.

Stupid rules, stupid agreement. And stupid Morgan. Fuck her for making me fall for her.

I turn the ignition and floor the car out of the shed. Brent, Davis and Beau watch as I peel out the shed, and in the direction of the next muster.

For the rest of the day everyone gives me space. I know Beau wants to tell me I fucked up.

I’m sitting out front of my house nursing a now warm beer. It’s quiet, and that makes me uneasy. Esky is at the homestead with Molly. I fucking knew she’d leave the thing behind. But no, she insisted on taking her when she was allowed to keep her. Now look where she is.

“I hate you, Morgan Elliot.”

But I don’t. Not really.

My phone rings. Shane’s name flashing on the screen, I almost don’t answer. “You let her kill him?!”

“Hello to you too.”

“Rhys.” He sounds equally pained and angry. “She’s been quiet since I picked her up. She’s been crying, thinking I can’t see or hear. She’s been locked in her room since we got back from Sydney. Murdering someone takes a part of your soul, and you let her do it!”

I don’t know what to say. I want to know if she’s okay, I want to tell him how to soothe her. I want to be the one to soothe her.

“You know your sister, I didn’t let her do shit, she did that all on her own.” Like the fucking badass she is.