Page 40 of No Place Like Home (Orlinda Valley #3)

Summer

I piddled around the kitchen, trying to find something—anything—to take away the quiet of this long night.

I hated the quiet. I was about to turn on some music when headlights lit up the driveway.

“Who the hell is this?” I walked toward the door with heavy steps, and just as I got there, it flew open.

My heart skipped when I saw the wild look in Rowan’s eyes. My insides jumped in fear. “Is your mom all right?” I asked.

The wildness turned to confusion, then understanding. “Yes, she’s fine. When I left, she’d fallen asleep.” He closed the door behind him and walked toward me. “We need to finish our conversation.”

The way he was looking at me stirred something deep in my gut. I walked away from him to the counter to put space between us. “It’s been a crazy night. Are you sure this is the best time? I bet you’re tired and would like to rest.”

“No, I don’t need rest. You said something before Kaye called me that sounded like you thought I’d leave you. That tells me you think I’m no better than your old man. I’ve thought a lot about us tonight, and I can assure you, leaving you is not what I plan to do.”

I didn’t think that little of him. Rowan was the sweetest man I knew, and nothing at all like my father. He put everyone first. He loved his family and friends in a big way—and he loved me. My heart no longer stuttered with that thought. It sped up and I filled my lungs with much-needed oxygen.

His eyes softened as he walked across the kitchen toward me. “Even if I have to wait forever for you to come to your senses and realize we’re meant to be together, I will be waiting right here.”

I searched his sweet brown eyes, then let my gaze wander over his perfectly chiseled features until they stalled for a brief moment on his lips. I met his eyes once again through lowered lashes. “What do you mean?”

“I took the job.”

“You did?” I asked. My heart skipped a beat, and I swear I stopped breathing.

“I did. They gave me the choice: Dallas or Nashville.”

He stood right in front of me, where I could feel the heat from his body and smell his cologne. My pulse raced. The seconds that ticked by as I waited to hear more seemed like a century. What if he chose Dallas? What if he left again? What if I lose him?

He gently held my hands in his. “I chose Nashville. Because I chose you. I always will, Summer. No matter what.”

Fear coursed through my veins as his hands brushed up my arms on their way to cup my cheeks and tilt my head back to look at him.

“Summer, I want us together. I don’t know what the future holds.

” He brushed his thumbs across my cheekbones.

“Kids, or no kids—we’ll face that when we get there.

” He dropped his hands and again clasped mine.

Right now, I want us. I want you, Summer, because we’ve been apart for too long. And because I love you.”

His big brown eyes held mine. I was speechless, unsure how to react to those words. I’d always backed away when they were casually flung around between friends.

But . . . Rowan.

My fingers fell from his hands. I wanted to promise him something, but I didn’t know what. He’s staying. For me. That’s what I hoped to hear. That’s what I wanted.

But fear gripped me and wouldn’t let go.

I couldn’t think with him looking at me with that much feeling blazing in his eyes, so I took a step back. I had to put space between us to separate myself from him so I could think. Process. But I couldn’t get my brain to function.

“Summer . . .” He took a step toward me.

I took another step back, my pulse racing. I wanted to say something, anything, but I couldn’t. It was like I was having an out of body experience. I wanted to tell him I loved him, but the part of me controlling my brain wouldn’t have it. I couldn’t say the words.

He shook his head, and the muscle in his jaw twitched. He held my eyes, but I couldn’t move.

He pursed his lips and moved his gaze to the ceiling. “I . . .” He puffed out a breath. “I can’t.” And then he walked out.

My heart pounded in my chest, as if beating in his direction, and my stomach churned. What had I done? My brain finally took control and screamed at me to go after him, but my feet weren’t listening. They were glued to the spot. Heavy as lead.

This is bullshit! Get control of yourself, Summer. You can’t let him walk out. You can’t lose him again .

My feet finally moved, and I sprinted the short distance to the door and out onto the driveway. There was no moon, so the only light came from the headlights of Rowan’s Jeep.

I ran to the driver’s door and opened it. “Rowan, stop!” I threw all my desperation into my voice. “ Please .”

“What the hell, Summer?” He glared at me with one hand on the wheel and the other on the gear shift.

“I’m sorry,” I sobbed. When had I started crying? I had never cried over a man before, but the thought of Rowan driving away and out of my life felt too final. “Don’t go.” My insides were in turmoil, and I thought I might throw up.

What if he decided he didn’t want my chaos, or my stubbornness . . . or my infertility? But did I really want him to walk out of my life forever?

My voice came out soft, pleading. “I want you to stay. Please?”

He turned his face toward me, his eyes red-rimmed.

My stomach clenched. “Please get out. Please let me talk to you?”

He sighed and rolled his eyes. “Fine.”

I stepped back and climbed out of the Jeep. His face was filled with irritation and anger.

I didn’t blame him. I caused this—all of this. “I’m sorry. I know I should have told you about . . . Hell, I should have told you decades ago. I was alone and scared, and . . .” Shit. I looked down at my feet.

“And what, Summer?” he asked, his voice flat. Emotionless.

My eyes traveled up his body—the body that, until recently, I never let myself see as anything but “good-looking”.

But now I finally focused on the details: the tightness of his thighs, the contours of the muscles through his shirt, his loving heart.

My eyes met his—those large brown pools that I’d looked into so many times over the years.

I reached for his hands—the hands that held me and consoled me throughout my lifetime, and recently touched me and sent me places I had never been before.

A warmth oozed from my heart and a realization struck me like a bolt of lightning to the chest. The words I thought just now in the house were true.

I didn’t want to live my life without Rowan. Not anymore. He knew my secret and he didn’t care. He still wanted me.

A small part of me had not been surprised at all when he’d told me that—It was Rowan.

A single tear fell down my cheek and he brushed it gently away.

I reached up, grabbed his hand, and held it against my cheek.

“I’m sorry I screwed things up.” I opened my mouth and closed it, unable to form all the words I wanted to say.

My stomach rolled and my pulse picked up. “I want you to stay with me.”

He tucked my hair behind my ear, pulled his gaze away from me, and breathed out one word. “Why?”

Why . Such a simple word, but a difficult question. I gave him the only answer I could. “Because you make me a better person. Because I need you, and I like who I am when we’re together.”

I took a deep breath. “But, most of all, because I love you.”

His gaze caught mine and the corners of his mouth ticked up. “What did you say?”

My smile matched his and I breathed out a laugh. “I love you, Rowan. I probably always have but have been too stupid and insecure to realize it.”

“Summer, you are anything but stupid. Insecure, ornery, stubborn, pig-headed—”

I punched him in the gut, and he doubled over with a laugh. “Okay, maybe I went too far with pig-headed.” He stood and rubbed his stomach. “You’ve still got a mean jab.”

“I had a good teacher.”

He wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me to him.

I wrapped mine around his neck.

“Yeah, you did,” he said as his lips met mine. Our tongues danced and a moan escaped me. Kissing him made all my body parts wake up and come alive.