Page 36 of No Place Like Home (Orlinda Valley #3)

Rowan

“ H i, Uncle Rowan.” James dropped his school bag on the floor, climbed in the chair next to me, and grabbed the cookies I had on the table. It was Wednesday, and this was our new after-school ritual. I loved it—quality time with my nephew.

“Hey, stinker.” I slid my glass over to him and he dipped a chocolate chip cookie in the milk and took a bite. “How was school?”

He shrugged and popped the cookie in his mouth. “Boring,” he said through a mouth full of cookie.

“James, don’t talk with your mouth full,” Darlene said. “It’s bad manners.” She fixed a cup of coffee and joined us at the table. “So, are you still leaving tonight? Couldn’t you wait until morning?”

“I’ve gotta go. It’s a twelve-hour drive, and my interview’s tomorrow at two, so I’m going to be pushing it. I’ll get in early in the morning and try to grab a little sleep.”

“Where are you staying?” she asked.

“With a buddy and his wife. After the interview I’ll figure something out.”

“Come on, Row. Stay until morning. ”

I shook my head. “I’m packed and ready. As soon as Bryson gets home, I’ll say bye and head out.” I focused on dipping a cookie in milk and avoided Darlene’s gaze.

“James, honey, why don’t you take your backpack upstairs and go play until dinner.”

“Okay, Mommy. Say bye to me before you leave, Uncle Rowan.”

“Of course.” I gave him a high five as he ran from the kitchen. I watched after him, not wanting to be left alone with Darlene. She was going to try and talk me out of this, maybe even call Summer, but that was not going to happen.

I’d spent the past few days at Trevor’s, helping around his farm while he worked at the pub, which I avoided like the plague.

I didn’t want to see Summer right now. She had ignored my texts and I was done trying.

There was nothing Darlene could say to change that.

If Summer wanted to talk, she could find me. Hell, she could text me.

“Are you coming back?” Darlene asked.

That threw me off. “Why wouldn’t I?”

She shrugged. “Just not sure. With Summer ghosting you, I didn’t know if you’d take a job somewhere else.”

It was my turn to shrug. “I don’t want to be anywhere else.

I’ve missed so much already, but if the job at their office in Nashville doesn’t pan out and I’m offered a job in Texas .

. .” I couldn’t finish that thought. I didn’t want to be in Texas anymore, but I didn’t want to be here without Summer.

“Rowan, James would miss you if you stayed in Texas. He’s just getting to know you, and you’re his favorite person.”

I rubbed my forehead and sighed. “I know, Darlene.” I was drained, and it bled into my voice.

“But I don’t know if I could stand being here.

Seeing her and not being with her? Maybe in a year or so, yes.

But now?” I laid my hands on the table and sat up straight.

“I’ve spent most of my life loving her. I need to move on, and I wouldn’t be able to do that here. ”

“You don’t have to live in Orlinda Valley. Settle somewhere else around Nashville. Your family’s here.”

“I know, and I could, but Tennessee is filled with memories, and Texas is new.”

Darlene nodded. “It makes sense, but does she know any of this?”

“Know what?”

“That you might not come back because of her.”

“Seriously?” Heat rose in my gut. “She hasn’t even answered my texts.

The only time I heard from her was when she sent me a message asking me to clear my things from the house while she was at work.

” I held my hands palms up. “I had to sneak over to the house to get the rest of my things. So, no. I haven’t told her.

” My gut clenched and I raked my hands through my hair.

Darlene’s gaze held mine. Her eyes were filled with love and concern. “I’m sorry, Row.”

I swallowed hard and took a sip of the milk.

“What do you have to be sorry for?” Bryson entered the kitchen and glanced between us. “Shit’s serious in here.” He kissed Darlene and glanced at the full suitcase by the wall. “What’s going on?”

“A possible one-way trip,” Darlene said.

His brows shot up.

I sighed. “Only if they offer me a job in Texas, otherwise, I’ll be back,” I said.

“Did you even say bye to Mom, Jamison? Anyone?” Bryson asked.

His voice rose in anger. Our eyes held and his narrowed.

“Don’t run again, Rowan. You’ve got to learn that sometimes life is shit and doesn’t work out the way you hoped.

Running won’t do anything but keep you from those who love you.

Your family and friends. It’s not always going to be about you. ”

“I’m not running.” My voice rose to match his. Shit. What if he was right? It would be so much easier to leave and not face the possibility of living in Tennessee without Summer.

“Well, at least say bye to my son. He hardly knows you, but has become your biggest fan in the short time you’ve been here.”

“I know. Darlene said the same thing.” I pushed away from the table as James ran back into the kitchen. I gave him a hug and promised to see him soon. That was one promise I hoped I could keep. Then I hugged Darlene and lugged my suitcase out to the garage. I had to get out of here—now.

Bryson leaned on the driver’s door of my Jeep with his hands shoved in his pockets. I gestured for him to get out of the way.

“Go after her, Rowan.”

“Can’t. She made it clear. She doesn’t love me.” I felt the now-familiar lump form and cleared my throat for what felt like the billionth time this week trying to get it to disappear, but it was no use. It always returned. “Get out of the way, Bryson. I’ve got to leave.”

“You can get another interview—hell, another job. Find her and talk to her.”

I clamped my teeth together, dropped my suitcase on the ground, and balled my hands into fists. “Let’s not do this again. I’ve got to go. Get the hell away from my Jeep.”

Damn, stubborn-ass Bryson. I didn’t want to leave after a fight again, but desperation ate at me.

I needed to get out of here. I grabbed his arm and pushed him away.

He pushed back, and before I knew it, our judo holds came back to the forefront and we were grappling in the garage.

This wasn’t for fun, though. Like the last time I left, I wanted to hurt him. He had to stop getting in my way.

“What the hell are you two doing?” Darlene bellowed.

We froze. I had him in a headlock. He had his arms around my chest ready to lift me and throw me on the ground.

“Step away from each other. Now .” Darlene used her “get control of the room” teacher voice, which never failed to get our attention, and I was sure it worked on all her students.

In a quieter voice, she said, “Don’t do this again.

” She stood between us, glancing first at Bryson, then at me.

“You two are the most stubborn men I know.”

She turned to me and gripped my biceps. “Look, Rowan.” She paused and let out a breath. “She swore me not to say anything, but I can’t let this happen.” She turned her face toward the ceiling and said, “You need to know.”

Her attitude was making me uneasy. “What do I need to know?” I asked hesitantly.

Her gaze returned to mine. “Do you remember back in high school, when Summer missed a lot of school, but never really said why?”

I nodded. “Yeah.”

“She has something called endometriosis. Because of it, she can’t have children and doesn’t think you should have to deal with that.”

I took a step back and tilted my head to the side and glared at her. “What? I don’t understand.”

“She doesn’t want to love you because she doesn’t want you in a relationship where you won’t be able to have any kids of your own.”

A tangle of emotions twisted inside me, leaving me dazed. She doesn’t want to love me . . .because she can’t have kids? I turned away from Darlene, stunned. I shook my head and tried to make sense of what I heard. “She can’t have children? Is she sure?”

“Pretty sure. She’s talked to a lot of doctors over the years.”

I clenched my fists together and gritted my teeth. I tried to talk but words froze on my tongue. What could I say? This didn’t make sense.

“So, she’s decided,” I started slowly, the words forming as I spoke.

“That we can’t be together . . . because she can’t have children.

” I paced in the confined space of the garage.

“She thinks I deserve to be a father . . . she can’t promise me that .

. . so we can’t be together?” I stopped pacing as anger tore through my chest, my voice rising with irritation. “She’s making that choice for me?”

Darlene’s shoulders met her ears in a resigned shrug.

“That’s my choice to make.” My insides seethed as my pulse quickened.

“That’s what I told her,” Darlene said, her voice almost a whisper.

I paced again. This garage seemed big enough until I needed more space to sort out my thoughts. Now it was constricting.

I raked my hands through my hair and clenched my fingers together at the back of my neck.

When I’d gotten ahold of my thoughts, I said, “I’m not sure what the hell endometriosis is, but I don’t give a shit about children now.

I want to be with Summer and she’s letting this get between us.

” I leaned my elbows on my knees and struggled to breathe in.

I wasn’t sure what a panic attack was, but I thought in that moment that I might be having one.

“Breathe, Rowan,” Bryson said as he bent down next to me. “You look like you might pass out.”

I finally got control of whatever the hell had just happened and stood. A realization hit me square in the gut. “I’ve got to go to her. ”

“Hell yeah, that’s what I’m talking about,” Bryson cheered as he smacked me on the back.

“She’s at work,” Darlene added as she opened the car door.

“Perfect. Then she can’t run.” I was frantic as I climbed behind the wheel. The short drive to Shear Perfection never felt so long.