Page 10 of Nine Inch Nasty (Hemlock Academy #9)

Delaney

I feel as if this is so much worse than what my mother had to go through.

Sure, maybe she was trying to prevent the demise of her own world, battling a creature that was trying to consume her magic and steal her mates permanently, but at least that makes sense.

Can we not have predictable villains anymore?

I'd give my right tit to go up against somebody with a clear, evil plan that’s well executed. That kind of thing I can get behind. This shit is just confusing.

I do not appreciate being forced into my lion form and then back into my human form so fast nor in so many successions. It's unsettling. My insides feel all squished, like they're still getting used to the change. Although to be fair, they could simply be a bit battered from my tryst with Cory.

I spin to them, making sure they're unharmed, because I have a few tricks up my sleeve I will absolutely tap into if I need to. Le sigh. They’re still a bit high.

My mom told me how to fix that though, so as amusing as it is to see them prance about on all fours with their ass up in the air like they have an honest to gods unicorn tail, I need a partner right now.

I suck the lust out of them, watching their body straighten out, their eyes bleeding back to their normal dilations. Then I stare until they’re with me.

“That was unsettling. But I'm fine, Delaney. Just tell me one thing; was I magnificent?”

“Naturally.”

They nod. “Perfect. Then let’s focus on what we're here to do.”

I squeeze them for being so darling, then take a look around my new environment. It's basically a big sports arena full of spectators. I'm fairly confident said spectators didn't come here on purpose, but that's neither here nor there.

“Right. Any guess who's in that cloud up there, Cory? Is it giving off any vibes to you? Shaped in a certain way to recommend one of my mates over another?”

They shake their head no.

“Worth a shot. Okay, this is actually great. I think this is the most classic villain behavior we’re going to get from her.

We've got a group of unicorns wrapped together with a fraying rope, dangling over a pit of fire.

They look pretty pressed, and I don't blame them. Probably not the day they were hoping to have.”

Between me and what is clearly the finish line, there’s a set of obstacles. But not in a way that makes sense. See my internal monologue earlier on the page about Fairygoddess being an improper villain. Honestly, I don’t even think she knows what she wants. Maybe she needs a cupcake, too.

Cory follows me to the first table, still stumbling slightly, and I'm irritated for some reason that the goddess sprung for a cheap folding plastic table instead of something nicer. Figures she wouldn't take this seriously. Although, the fire pit is undoubtedly a nice touch.

“What the hell am I supposed to do with this?” It's literally just a table full of spoons and a giant bag of vegan marshmallows.

Fuck this.

“Maybe you're supposed to shove them up your cunt and then see how many spoons you can fit in your mouth?”

“Cory, I mean this in the best way possible, but there's no way in hell that’s the correct answer.

That's … no. There're some things we just don't do.” There has to be an answer here somewhere.

I bet the goddess is sitting behind whatever cloud screen she concocted for herself, sipping a delicious cold beverage, and cackling at her own cleverness. Well, perceived cleverness.

“Wait a minute...” The next station is too far to reach on my own, so clearly the goddess expects me to do something with this trash assortment of objects she's given me.

I turn to a very reluctant mate. “I'm going to ask you to do something really weird, and you have to promise me you'll still love me when we're done with this.”

They take a step back, batting their eyes. “Oh good, you figured it out as well? It was going to be awkward if I had to explain it to you.”

Before I can enact my plan, which surely can't be exactly what the goddess was thinking but I have to remain a step ahead of her, evil darkness descends on me and Cory. Of course, this makes it more complicated to complete our task, but not impossible.

Never impossible.

It's unfortunate I can't see because it's going to make it that much more uncomfortable, but with only a few small ish yelps from Cory, a few bruises on me, and a very uncomfortable situation that me and Cory have promised to never speak of again, the marshmallows disappear, and the spoons…

Well, you don't need to know about those.

The point is, after some deft finagling on our parts, the darkness is lifted, leaving me and Cory there panting, red faced and deeply traumatized, afraid to look at each other, unable to proceed any further until we figure out this new puzzle.

Ah, fuck again. “Are you kidding me here?” Now we have a bathtub full of rubber ducks.

“We should have expected this, after that last one.”

“Cory...”

They jump back from me. “Nope. Don't even think about it. That was the last time, you promised.”

“Okay; think, think, think . What's the last thing she would expect me to do?”

I can't see the rest of the obstacles from where I'm standing, but I can't imagine they're any easier to solve. Maybe if I just do the opposite of what my first instinct is, I'll figure it out.

Cory watches, not interfering until I’m done moving. “Why are you sitting on the bathtub of ducks?”

“Hold on, I'm trying something.”

The crowd is starting to get restless; which is probably why the giant disco ball descends from nowhere.

“Dance for your lives, motherfuckers!”

The ducks turn into rabid little beasties, with a clear penchant for toes.

Oh no .

Ignoring the cackle of the goddess over the loudspeaker after her admittedly hilarious line, Cory and I discover that so long as we keep creating sweet dance moves to the music that is now playing, the little duckies don't try to kill us. So that's a plus.

That's when I notice a flaw in the goddess’ plan. “Cory!” I whisper yell. “Look!”

I dip them and then spin them out, their eyes catching on what I spotted; the very obvious drain plug underneath the bathtub the goddess forgot to hide.

“We need to get the fuck out of here, Delaney. This is crazy, even for Fairygoddess. Everybody's eyes are on us right now; what if we just use this platform to tell all of them that they've been lied to?”

Cory and I began to shimmy our shoulders back and forth, leaning forward and back as I inch closer and closer to the bathtub drain. I'm trying to be sneaky as I look around us, but if we're not miked, yelling will only show our hand.

Quick as can be, I punch a hole through the cloud underneath the bathtub at the same time I yank the cord, and even though the duckies are way too big to fit through that drain spout, they do anyway. They flow like water until the bath is empty.

The crowd gasps, and I have just enough mind to yank Cory into the bathtub with me as it begins to float like a magic carpet to the next test.

The tub tilts on its side and dumps us, leaving us on a cloud that's nothing but cloud.

Cory begins rubbing the back of their neck. “Perfect. Another test that makes no sense and proves nothing. This is great, really.”

“There's got to be something here, somewhere.” Then, I remember how Leo and Cory were discovered and transformed back to their normal bodies. “Help me feel this cloud up, Cory.”

“Alright, feeling frisky, are we? I'm down.”

We drop to all fours but it's hard to stay focused when Cory’s ass keeps peeking out of the bottom of their way-too-short skirt.

Especially considering I stole their panties.

I keep getting peeks of their balls swinging and it’s actually taking nearly all of my focus to not lay on my back underneath them and let them fall into my mouth.

Fuck, maybe I have a problem. “That skirt is dangerous, Cory. If we fail this test, it’s going to be because I can’t stop staring at your ass. ”

They huff as they keep swiping their arms through the cloud.

“And you think it’s easy to keep my eyes off yours in that nearly sheer cloud dress?

That has matching panties? Maybe the test is that we have to keep our attention off each other long enough to be productive.

I admit that feels pretty damn difficult right now. ”

I lean forward to kiss them, because how can I not? “Maybe.”

“Are we even sure we’re supposed to find something in the cloud? What if the answer is like, above us or something?”

I look above us just in case there’s something there that wants me to pay attention to it, then I decide to just go with my gut.

Also, with the magic I have. Fairygoddess doesn’t seem to be playing by any rules, so why should I?

I’m starting to think she doesn’t actually want my help with her realm, that this is just some sort of fucked up entertainment stint because she’s bored.

I tune into those bodysmith senses, convinced it’s not actually cheating. If there’s someone in this cloud that can give us an advantage, I would look far less stupid just checking internally than crawling around on a fucking cloud, waving my arms around in it like spaghetti soup.

I close my eyes as if I'm going to feed my magic, throwing my head back at the rush I get. This cloud is lusty as hell, eager for me to be wrapped up in it. That clearly can only mean one thing.

Now that I know there’s actually something to find in the cloud, I double my speed, swiping left and right; I'm about to give up when my fingers clip something hard in the cloud, biting my finger. “Son of a bitch!”

Before Fairygoddess can stop me, I hit that switch so fast, and me, Cory, and Adam plummet to the cloud below us.

“You little cheat! You weren't supposed to know he was there! Oh well. I guess I shall feed my unicorns to the fiery pit after all. Make sure you tell her thank you, children!”