Page 21

Rad

This is the biggest mistake I’ve made in years.

Why’d I ask her to move in with me? Why the fuck did I choose to torture myself like this?

Friends? With Tealey? I scoff. Yeah, not possible.

I could barely sleep a wink knowing Tealey was only down the hall from me. I could sense her in the apartment . . . so could my dick. I haven’t had to take a cold shower over a woman in a long time, until now.

Even pumping iron at three o’clock in the morning didn’t work out my frustrations. I added a five-mile run to help burn off the adrenaline. My mind finally cleared in the quiet early morning hours. I took another shower, hot this time, to lull my mind and muscles into getting some sleep.

Using the light of the early morning, I meander into the kitchen after little sleep. I start the coffee machine, so it begins heating the water, and then go to my cabinet for a mug. Opening it up, I grin. With the new distractions in my apartment, I’d forgotten about the mug collection.

The ass mug seems to fit my behavior best regarding how I ended our night, so I grab that one and set it on the coffee stand. When it’s filled, I take the steaming cup with me and sit on the ledge of one of the windows.

Even at this hour, the city is dotted with lights, and when I crack a window to get fresh air, I hear a melody that only someone who loves Manhattan would love—the honk of horns, the sound of laughter escaping an open window nearby, and the vibrant hum of the streets coming to life.

The wood floor creaks, and I look over my shoulder to see Tealey, dressed in pajamas covered in images of cats, tiptoeing out of her room.

She’s quirky, much more than I ever thought before.

I smile from the sight of her, though, and from her choice of sleepwear.

“You live here,” I say. “You don’t have to sneak around. ”

Her spine stiffens, and her shoulders shake with laughter when she finds me in the darkness. Holding up a glass, she says, “I needed water.”

“Help yourself.”

She moves into the kitchen and starts filling her glass. “Can’t sleep?”

“Not well,” I reply.

“Me either.” Crossing the room, she sits down on the sill facing me, her eyes dipping down over my body. I didn’t think to put a shirt on, not used to having company. I guess I’m lucky I pulled on a pair of sweatpants.

She leans against the brick column dividing the windows and gazes through the glass. Sticking her hand near the opening, she rolls her gaze back to me. “Spring is my favorite. When the bitter cold of winter is behind us, but the heat of summer has not yet set in.”

Her bare knee is bumped against the thick cotton of my pants, and despite learning to share a space with someone again, I can’t stop thinking about how much I like having a connection with her—the laughs, smiles, and little touches we’ve shared.

Jesus Christ, Wellington.

It’s been all of ten hours since she moved in. Get your head straight. Make small talk, for fuck’s sake. “I tried to be quiet.”

“You didn’t wake me.” Closing her eyes, she inhales. “That coffee smells so good.” I like seeing her at this time of day. There’s no tension in her shoulders, and her eyes are wide, taking in the world. It’s as if her body knows it can wake up with the day.

She straightens and starts padding across the floor. “I think I need a cup.”

I stand with my back to her and look out the window. If I don’t, I’ll stare at her in ways that I worked out in the middle of the night . . . or so I thought. I have no perspective at this hour.

“Nice ass,” she says.

I whip back, thinking I heard wrong. “My ass?”

There’s not much light still, but enough to see her cover her stomach as silent laughter takes hold of her.

“Oh my God, Rad.” Bursting out in laughter, she continues, “I meant the mug, but said—” She grips onto the edge of the counter as if she needs the support, bending over in a fit of giggles.

“I did say . . . I said ass . I said it and yep . . .”

Laughing, I glance at the mug, forgetting I’d chosen this one. But hearing her and seeing her on the verge of tears causes me to laugh, too.

With her body still shaking in laughter, she plants a hand on her face and runs it into her hair. “I’m delirious.”

“I think you’re quite entertaining at any hour, but this might be my favorite.” A few more chuckles run through me before fading.

“Yeah, I definitely shouldn’t be allowed to people before coffee.

” She opens the cabinet and stands staring at the mugs with a big smile on her face.

I’m still stuck on the fact that she just told me I have a nice ass.

The longer she stares into that cabinet, the more I start to believe that my ass might be too much of a distraction for her.

Let the woman have her coffee without fucking with her.

Or shift and let her enjoy it.

I face the windows, sipping my coffee, and when she opens the fridge, I watch her in the reflection.

She pulls out the creamer but still doesn’t pick a mug.

I’m sure the chaos of the cabinet stumps her as it did me.

Mugs aren’t something I want to think about before having my first cup.

Or ever. I don’t tell her that, but I appreciate the uncomplications of a simple white coffee cup.

The cabinet closes, and she says, “I might try to rest for another hour.”

Although she’s not asking me, I turn back and nod. “Searching for the perfect mug to use can be exhausting.”

She returns the creamer to the fridge. “That’s funny, Welly, or it’s early.”

“Guess we’ll never know.” Smirking, I shrug.

“I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt.” She gives me a wink, and then wordlessly, she slips back down the hall and closes her door.

Turning back to the outside, I look up, scanning the sky for stars to enjoy the last moments before dawn breaks.

Tealey Bell is distracting in ways that don’t truly bother me. I just can’t seem to figure out why. Cade’s diagnosis comes to mind, but that was us messing around.

Love is the furthest thing on my mind and love with Tealey .

. . “Don’t be ridiculous, Wellington.” I run my hand through my hair, refusing to let that idea sink in.

My personal life is sidelined for my career.

I have no time to indulge in attraction when I have a full load of cases.

Making partner. That needs to be my sole focus.

At this rate, I should either try for more sleep or just go to work early. I choose the latter since I’m caffeinated. Since my body’s already been scrubbed clean twice in the past four hours, I get dressed.

Before I leave, though, I wash up the mug, returning it to the cabinet, and then stand in the kitchen debating if I should leave a good-morning-I’m-off-to-work note or text for Tealey. We’re roommates, not dating. So I’m out the door before Tealey leaves her room.

On the car ride to work, I let my regular driver deal with the traffic while I check emails to get a preview of the day ahead, starting with my schedule.

I have court this morning and then meetings all afternoon.

That means another late night of research to prepare for next week’s court hearings.

My work is literally never fucking done.

That didn’t bother me at one time, but over the past couple of weeks, I’ve lost some of my enthusiasm for the job.

Cade wasn’t wrong. I have missed a lot of my friends’ lives simply because I have a job that requires an unreasonable number of hours. And maybe because, for the first time, there’s someone at home I’d rather see or enjoy a meal with instead of eating stale protein bars in the break room.

Running off adrenaline and caffeine, and after having two cases settle in my clients’ favor, I sit with Ashleigh at a café down the street from the office. Though there’s no time built into the day to take off, I needed a breather.

After sipping an espresso, she sets the cup down, the china clanking together. “Want to talk about it?”

My gaze flicks to her. “Talk about what?”

“What’s on your mind? You’ve been staring at that intersection for five light changes like you’re going to be tested on traffic patterns.” She nods her head to the right. “You haven’t even noticed that a cat is sitting in a stroller at the next table.”

I glance at the stroller. Sure enough, there’s a tabby contentedly sitting inside. Our eyes meet, and it meows. “Only in New York.”

“Yep, only in New York.” She turns her attention to her laptop and runs through a list of files that need to be verified before entering evidence, talking through each one with me.

She’s right. I’ve been staring off into space until she says, “Mr. Marché’s initial offered wasn’t accepted, as we expected.

In addition to sparing their reputations, his soon-to-be ex-wife has sent a list of demands to keep the settlement locked. ”

“And?”

“I’ve sent you the list.” She turns her monitor to face me.

I lean down and scan the list. “Some are reasonable.” I glance at Ashleigh. “She wants to release a statement, but doesn’t want to allow his side? We’ll be pushing back on some. When am I scheduled to meet with Bob again?”

She types, and then replies, “Two weeks. I wouldn’t normally suggest this, but Marlow has also requested a business lunch that day. Would you like me to make a reservation for the three of you? Two birds. One stone?”

“Confirm with Bob first, but I think it makes sense. If he’s open to discussions in front of Marlow, make a reservation at Highland on 5 th .” There’s no other reason to meet with Marlow. Our agreement has gone rather well so far. Without Bob, we’ve had no reason to put on a show.

She types, but then her fingers still. “You’re working too much, Rad. I can tell you’re burned out.”

“You are, too.”

“No, I leave well before you do. Sometimes, I actually leave on time. Other nights, you practically push me out the door. When you do, it gives me time with my boyfriend. We go out, to the movies, to a Broadway show, or stay in, but I have downtime. You left the office after ten and were back there before seven. That kind of schedule isn’t sustainable.

” She looks at me thoughtfully. “I know you want to make partner, but does it have to come at the expense of everything else?”

I finish my espresso, keeping my eyes fixed on the plain white cup . . . plain, like my life. Thinking of the cabinet at home, what once represented me and my orderly life, now represents the color and humor Tealey’s brought to it.

Ashleigh’s not saying anything I don’t already know.

Reaching beyond the job description to voice her concerns, she has me seeing the situation in a new light.

I shift in the chair, and say, “I want to make partner. It will come at the expense of my personal life. I’m willing to sacrifice that in the short term.

But even if I chose not to, we need to reevaluate our case load.

” I sit forward. “The last thing I want to do is burn you out in the process. I can’t go it alone. ”

Her smile is tight, but she nods. “I’m here if you are.”

The server sets the check on the table. She’s quick to slot it in the credit card machine, and hand it back. We’re left alone. When I sign the receipt, I set the pen down, and say, “Everything will work out just how it’s supposed to.”

She pulls her purse onto her shoulder, her smile still barely deviating from a straight line.

“I hope that one day you find a reason to leave work behind, to even skip out of work early, a reason to make you smile again, and most importantly, that you get everything you’ve ever wanted, and it brings you the happiness you deserve. ”

Her words hit me with a dose of reality, though I play it off by tucking the chair under the table. She sees through the facade I thought I was so masterful at projecting, but there’s no judgment. Ashleigh knows I’m going to pursue my goals to the fullest, and I appreciate her support.

Greatness comes from personal sacrifice. My father lives by that motto, even today. He gave up my mom and two other wives. He gave up me. That’s his legacy, though he’d claim otherwise.

He’s alone now.

But is that what I want? Is that how I want to end up in life? Working hard only to have no one to share it with? Fuck, am I having a quarter-life crisis? No. This is my life. It’s normal to be doing this, and often alone. Isn’t it?

“You’ve isolated yourself in a lot of ways since graduation . . . I get that you’re busy and want to make partner to break some record at the firm, but are you happy?” Cade’s words ring in my ears.

Happiness will come later. Now . . . now is about winning cases and moving up the ladder.

Greatness comes from personal sacrifice. Live with it, Wellington. This is your life.