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Rad

Clearheaded.

Reasonable.

Straightforward.

I sigh as I think back to the old me—the old me that I’m starting to miss. This dazed and confused version of Rad Wellington that comes out every time I see Tealey is starting to bother me. Why? Mostly because it’s silly. There’s nothing between us. We’re the same friends that we were last week.

So what if she’s moving in? It’s temporary.

When did temporary turn into opportunity? Fuck, drop it.

Needing my ego kicked in the ass, I text the man for the job.

I drive deeper into Brooklyn to a neighborhood that hasn’t been reinvented with prices to match the rest of the borough—a hidden gem. The homes have been here for generations and still have chipped paint, rusty awnings, and people parked on their porches who wave at strangers.

Jackson, Cade, and I would make the long run from my building, literally run , and stop here to recover before heading back to the city. I should start running that route again. With the spring breeze blowing in through the open window, it feels good out here, like my lungs are free to breathe.

I park where the street dead-ends and the East River is the only thing separating me from Manhattan, then get out and wait.

Cade parks next to me and gets out. Tugging at his belt, he looks around.

“We haven’t been here in a few years. Good to see some things never change.

” When he shakes my hand, he asks, “What gets you out of the city, Wellington?”

The question feels loaded, although I know it’s not. While I’m sure he’s curious about my last-minute text to meet by the water, there’s no way he knows what’s on my mind—that she’s on my mind, and I’m worried about that.

“I checked in on Tealey. I needed to get her a key and wanted to see how she’s doing,” I say as naturally as I can.

“Cammie told me Tealey’s staying with you until she finds a new place. Could take a while in this market.”

“I don’t mind.”

He picks up a stone and fiddles with it. “Didn’t know you had it in you.”

Staring at the water and ignoring the smirk on Cade’s face, I ask, “Helping a friend out? Thanks . . . You guys really think I’m an asshole, don’t you?”

I glance over at him.

He tosses the stone into the dirt and kneels to pick a weed. His brown is pulled together as if he’s actually having to consider my question. “No, not an asshole,” he says finally. “You’ve isolated yourself in a lot of ways since graduation.”

This is news to me. “We watch games together all the time.”

He shrugs. “I wouldn’t say all the time. Sometimes.”

“Sounds like you miss me.” I pop his arm with my elbow.

“I wouldn’t go that far.” Laughter bellows from him as he discards the weed.

“I’ve been buried at work and spend most nights planning this wedding.

I’d marry Cammie today at the courthouse if she’d let me.

But a big wedding makes her happy, and her being happy makes me happy.

” He looks down and kicks the curb. “What I’m saying is I know busy.

I get that you’re busy and want to make partner to break some record at the firm, but are you happy? ”

Am I happy? Is he wanting to talk about real feelings? I’m surprised by the changing tide of his mood. I might have contacted him to help me see things clearer, but instead, the water feels muddier than before, causing my chest to tighten. “I wasn’t expecting a therapy session, Cade.”

“Sometimes we get what we need, not what we want.”

I could apply that to many aspects of my life, but the words hit home more today.

Stepping over the curb, I get closer to the water’s edge. “Why didn’t I know Tealey and Steve broke up until this week?”

“Refer to my previous statement.”

Fuck.

He adds, “And I can’t say I lost sleep over their breakup. Cammie was thrilled when she heard, but don’t tell Tealey.” He studies me. “If it makes you feel better, I hear everything from Cammie.”

I cross my arms over my chest, watching the water lap at the shore. We don’t need to fill every minute that passes between us, but so much seems to have changed overnight. Work is a nightmare, and now I have Marlow and Bob throwing a wrench in things.

Why does the best opportunity I have come with strings that dangle into my personal life?

And it’s not like my personal life isn’t complicated enough.

I now have these foreign feelings starting to become more familiar with each passing day for Tealey, who has always only ever been out of reach moving in with me.

There’s the logistics of that life change, too.

I wish I could sort all that out myself. I should be able to. I’m Rad Wellington—I sort other people’s shit for a living. So why can’t I make sense of all this?

Here goes nothing . . .“I’ve had some things on my mind and wanted to get your opinion.”

“I’m here. Might as well make the most of it.”

I take a deep breath and then confess on the exhalation, “I need answers, a solution to a problem I can’t seem to riddle myself out of.”

Something in my tone must strike a chord because he says, “You know I’ll help if I can. What’s going on?”

Confusion on his face greets mine. Rubbing my chest, I say, “Emotional crap I can’t seem to shake.”

To himself, he mutters. “Emotional crap?” Then he squints his eyes at me, reading me like a wide-open book. “Feelings?”

Bingo. Feelings for Beginners—the CliffsNotes version. That’s what I need. A crash course in why the fuck I’m suddenly turning soft. I’m not even thirty, dammit.

I shove my hands in my pockets. Why is this so fucking embarrassing to talk about? “There’s a lot of shit going on, and most of it I can’t talk about.”

“Stuff at work?”

Nodding, I briefly glance over at him. “Cases I’m working on.”

“Trouble with women?” Stuck in an agreement with Marlow wasn’t on the agenda, but it’s something I have to contend with. “In business?”

“You could say that.”

“Are you going to make me work for every last tidbit?”

“You’re doing a good job so far,” I reply sarcastically.

He volleys right back. “Thanks, Dad.” Pacing, he adds, “Trouble with women in your personal life?”

I blow out a breath.

I wouldn’t say that I’m having a problem with Tealey exactly. But maybe that is the problem. It’s so easy to be with her—a newfound fact since I’ve stopped my self-imposed ban on being alone with her. For this very reason.

It’s not really my fault. Who wouldn’t want to spend time with her? She makes me laugh, smile, and forget about the pressures of work. I’m funny around her, more intelligent, more interesting. She makes me feel that way, at least.

Around Tealey Bell, I’m not just a high-profile divorce attorney. And, for some reason, I like that.

“So, women in your personal life too?” Cade asks again.

“Probably.” Because I’m going to be in a whole lot of trouble if I keep letting my time with Tealey veer off sideways into areas we shouldn’t travel.

A hot pink lace thong comes to mind, and I can’t say any of my thoughts on those have been platonic.

Cade would kick my ass if he found out. Tealey’s like a little sister to him and Cammie. She spends the most time with them, eating dinner over there at least once a week.

Not sure if he’s joking since his expression turns serious when he crosses his arms over his chest. “When did this start? Are there any other symptoms?”

“Clammy hands. I’ve got ’em.” I hold up my hands and then press two fingers to my wrist, fighting a smile “Racing pulse. And sometimes,” I say, restraining a chuckle.

“I even hear birds singing, but when I look around, there are none.” Cade’s eyes grow wide as he pretends to be concerned.

“What’s wrong with me? Give it to me straight, doc. ”

He moves in front of me, his large frame blocking the view. “Hate to tell you this, but you’re either about to have a heart attack or . . .”

“Or?” He sounds so serious, keeping me on pins and needles.

“You might be in love.”

I think my performance was too convincing, maybe even Oscar-worthy. “I think I’ll get a second opinion.” I burst out laughing.

In love?

Me? That’s a stretch.

Who would I possibly be in love wi— Shit.

Blond hair. Bright blue eyes . . . Nah. Not possible. I even cringe at the term crush. Infatuation probably works better. It was a short-lived infatuation back in college.

Nothing more.

Never has been.

Holding his hands up in surrender, Cade says, “I’m just a Sunday afternoon armchair sports enthusiast. I can write you a prescription to watch a day of sports to get your balls back, but that’s the best I can do.

” I receive another well-meaning pat on the shoulder.

He finally breaks into a grin, a shit-eating one at that.

“But here’s the good news. Although I know it’s scary for you to develop feelings for the first time, worse things could happen, Rad. ”

I let my posture sag, you know, to add dramatic effect from learning that I might have caught a case of “feelings” for the first time. “Like what?”

Stepping back a few feet, he laughs. “Like having an actual heart attack.”

“Don’t put that into the universe.”

“Eh, you’ve never been superstitious,” he says, kicking a rock into the grass.

“There’s a first time for everything.”

He punches me in the arm, and teases, “Like joining the love club.”

“I’m not in love, Cade.” Even though we’re joking around, I don’t know why his words hit close to home. My neck is itchy under the collar, so I pull at it. Ah, fuck it. I tug my tie loose and undo my top button. “And I’m definitely not in the club.”

“It’s good in the club. The club serves tacos every Tuesday. Do you get tacos every Tuesday?”

“I don’t want tacos every Tuesday. I had them on Monday, and I’m pretty fucking sure they taste the same.”

“Sex whenever you want it.”