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Chapter 29

Kieran

“We loved with a love that was more than love.” Edgar Allan Poe

M y fingers hover over my phone, rereading our last few messages for the third time, a smirk tugging at my lips. This woman has awakened the man I used to be, loving, passionate. Happy.

Kieran: Change of plans. Pack a bag. You’re staying at my house tonight, Miss Ravencroft.

Miss Ravencroft: So bossy.

Kieran: I’ll show you bossy soon. Now be a good girl. I’ll be up there in fifteen minutes.

Miss Ravencroft: Yes, Professor.

I let out a large exhale, pressing my head back against the seat as I maneuver through traffic.

Fifteen minutes. Fifteen minutes, and I’ll finally have her, all of her. Not just stolen moments. Not just hurried touches between lectures and rushed nights tangled in the sheets, always with the looming threat of time running out.

Tonight, I’ll get to hold her. All night. And I don’t know if I’ll ever let her go.

T onight, I will finally say the words I have been too much of a coward to admit.

I love her.

I’ve known for weeks, shit, maybe even the first time I saw her in my class, but something about saying it aloud, giving her that part of me, has scared me. But not anymore.

Not after tonight.

As I pull up to the dorms, I grab my phone, shooting her another message.

Kieran: I’m here. I’m coming up.

No response.

I frown but dismiss it as I put my car in park and slide out of the driver’s seat. Maybe she is still packing.

From where I am parked, I can see through the front windows that the Resident Advisor is still sitting at their desk.

Fuck. I’m still her professor. I can’t just waltz up there. She’s going to have to meet me around the back.

Impatient and becoming frustrated, I dial her number.

One ring. Two. Three. Voicemail.

Something cold slithers across my arms. Goosebumps form.

I call again. No answer.

A sharp pang of anxiety shoots through my chest.

Without a second thought, I hurry across the parking lot. Striding into the building, I pass the RA’s desk and head straight for the elevator. I must have shocked them into speechlessness because they barely acknowledge my presence.

The ride up to her floor is agonizingly slow, my pulse racing harder with every second that ticks by.

Something isn’t right.

The moment the doors whoosh open, I step into the hall, my body moving faster now. When I reach her door, it’s cracked. I push it open, calling her name calmly, attempting to keep my composure.

“Deirdre.”

No response.

The second I step inside, my stomach drops.

The room is a wreck.

A shattered lamp lies on the floor, broken glass glittering against the carpet. Clothes are scattered everywhere, like she had been packing before…

My breath stops.

That’s when I see it.

Small drops of blood pepper the old carpet.

My body goes rigid.

No.

I follow the crimson trail with slow, methodical steps, my heartbeat hammering against my ribs. It leads to the back of the hallway. Toward the fire escape stairwell.

My fingers tremble as I reach for the door handle, pushing it open. The moment I step inside, my world comes to a shattering halt.

Blood.

On the wall. On the floor. A smeared handprint staining the concrete. And at the base of the stairs, I see her, and time stops.

Deirdre.

Crumbled. Unmoving. A dark pool of blood seeping from her head.

My chest tightens, and my breathing halts.

“ No… ”

My knees hit the floor before I even realize I’ve bolted down the steps.

“ Deirdre! ”

Nothing.

I cup her face, my hands instantly becoming covered in her blood. Her skin is too pale, too still. My fingers brush against her pulse point in her neck, desperate for something, anything.

Please. Please.

There’s nothing but the sickening stillness of her skin.

A raw, broken sob tears itself from my chest.

“No, no, no…baby, please. Stay with me. Stay with me.”

I pull her into my arms, cradling her lifeless body against me, rocking her.

“Wake up. Come back to me. Come back to me. ”

Silence.

Her blood soaks through my clothes, warm and sticky against my skin. It stains my hands, my arms, seeps into every crack and crevice like it’s claiming me too.

And suddenly—

I’m there again.

The twisted metal. The mangled wreck of my car wrapped around a telephone pole, smoke billowing into the frozen night air. The smell of gasoline, burnt rubber, and blood. The screech of distant sirens. The cold slap of rain against my face as I crawled across broken glass toward her.

Alexis.

Slumped over the center console. Head lolling.

Blood pouring from a gash at her temple, mixing with the rain.

I had screamed her name then, just like I’m screaming Deirdre’s now.

I couldn’t pull her from the wreckage with my bloodied hands; I was helpless to save her, just feeling her grow colder and colder against my fingertips, helpless to stop it.

Not again.

The stairwell spins. The air around me thickens, suffocating me, pressing against my chest until I can barely suck in a breath.

I press my forehead against Deirdre’s, my tears mixing with her blood.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry,” I whisper against her skin, rocking her harder, clinging to her like she’s the only thing tethering me to this world.

“Please wake up,” I beg, my voice breaking apart. “Please don’t leave me.”

But she doesn’t move.

She doesn’t even stir.

Just like Alexis. Just like before. All I have is blood on my hands. All I have is the echo of my own shattered cries ricocheting off the walls, swallowed by the heavy silence.

I bury my face in her hair, breathing her in, desperate to memorize her before she slips away forever.

Through my broken sobs, through the unbearable ripping ache inside me, I whisper the only word that still exists for me, the only word that ever meant anything.

“Nevermore. Nevermore.”

“The death of a beautiful woman is unquestionably the most poetical topic in the world.” Edgar Allan Poe