Page 29

Chapter 28

Deirdre

“Either the memory of past bliss is the anguish of today, or the agonies which have their origin in the ecstasies which might have been.” Edgar Allan Poe

W ednesday arrives with unforgiving speed. Claire and I spent two sleepless nights beforehand cramming as much literature into our brains as we possibly could. The only hope for me now is a prayer and the steaming Starbucks in my hand to wake up my last few functioning brain cells. Kieran may be my unofficial boyfriend, but I am still going to earn every bit of my academic success.

Claire is rambling. Something about how nervous she is, how she was convinced she’ll mix up Gothic themes and Romanticism, and will somehow manage to fail the exam miserably. Normally, I’d reassure her, but her words barely registered.

Because as Claire and I step out of the dorm into the crisp air, I feel someone’s eyes on me. The feeling reminds me of the first few weeks into the semester when I practically chased what I now assume was a ghost across the courtyard because I was sure someone was there.

My gaze flicks to the trees on the edge of the lawn.

This time it is unmistakable. There is someone there.

At first glance, he looks like any other student, hoodie pulled up over his head, hands stuffed into the pockets of a dark jacket. But there is something about the way he is standing, motionless amidst the flow of students hurrying to class, that causes my stomach to tighten.

And then our eyes meet.

My breath hitches.

His stare, his face, it’s familiar.

I blink twice, thinking it will make him disappear, but it doesn’t. My heart begins picking up speed. But just as quickly as I notice him, a group of students passes between us, and when they move out of my line of sight, he’s gone.

I exhale, forcing myself to shake off the weird feeling crawling up my spine. It was probably nothing. Just a student.

It’s not Brandon. It’s not Trevor. It’s just your stupid jitters from exam stress and sleep deprivation.

My phone buzzes in my hand.

Professor McKnight: Apply for the TA position.

I chew on my bottom lip, my fingers hovering over my screen.

Deirdre: Are you sure that’s a good idea?

The reply is almost immediate.

Professor McKnight: I want you to be near me as much as possible, so yes.

Heat curls in my stomach, pushing away the unease from earlier. My fingers start to type something teasing back, but Claire’s voice snaps me out of my thoughts.

“Hello? Earth to Deirdre?” Claire waves a hand in front of my face. “Did you hear anything I just said?”

I force a smile. “Something about failing miserably?”

“Exactly,” she huffs. “And you’re supposed to reassure me that I won’t.”

I finally give her my full attention as we cross the courtyard toward the auditorium. “Claire, you could’ve written that exam in your sleep. You’ll be fine.”

Claire doesn’t look convinced, but she lets it slide, instead linking her arm through mine. “So…” she drawls, glancing at me out of the corner of her eye. “Are you going to take the TA position?”

I sigh. “I don’t know.”

Claire scoffs. “Bullshit. You so know.”

I bite my lip.

I told Claire about what transpired after class on Monday night while we were studying for the final exam. It was our last-ditch effort to cram in as much information as possible. But after hours of scouring over textbooks and entirely too much caffeine, I had to tell her. She thinks me being Kieran’s teaching assistant is the best idea since sliced bread.

She said, “Wow. President Sheridan practically sat you on McKnight’s dick, didn’t he?” Which was followed up by relentless giggling and concluded any productivity for the rest of the night.

I hesitate, lowering my voice. “It’s already so hard to keep this quiet when I’m around him. How am I going to do it working under him? Sheridan will find out for sure.”

Claire rolls her eyes. “Pfft. That pompous old man couldn’t figure out your secret even if y’all were banging in front of him.”

I choke on a laugh. “Claire!”

“I mean, seriously. The man sees what he wants to see, and I highly doubt he expects his broody, unapproachable professor to be secretly screwing his student.” She smirks. “Which, by the way, is still hot as hell.”

I shake my head, unable to stop the grin tugging at my lips. Claire has a way of making everything feel lighter, even the nerve-wracking, potentially reputation-ruining aspects of my life.

The moment we step out of the auditorium, Claire throws her hands in the air and lets out the most relieved sigh I’ve ever heard.

“ Thank God that’s over! I swear, if I had to analyze one more Gothic death scene, I was going to fake my own and disappear into the night.”

I huff out a laugh, stretching my arms overhead, feeling the tension from the exam slowly melt away. “I know. I feel like my brain has been wrung out. But at least it’s done. The semester is done .”

Claire nods vigorously as she swings her bag over her shoulder. “Done, finished, dead and buried. Speaking of which…” She pauses. “I gotta jet. Gabe’s waiting for me.”

I shoot her a questioning look. “Oh? And what exactly does Gabe have planned for your post-exam celebration?”

She arches her eyebrows. “What do you think?”

I groan, covering my face. “Nevermind. Don’t tell me.”

“ What? ” she laughs. “Some people drink to celebrate. Others take a vacation. I prefer celebratory sex.” She flips her hair dramatically. “And I intend to be very, very celebratory.”

I roll my eyes, trying not to laugh. “You’re unbelievable.”

Claire grins wickedly, taking a step back toward the exit. “Oh, please. As if you and McDreamy aren’t about to bang yourselves into oblivion the second you’re alone.”

Heat creeps up my neck, and I look around. “Claire!”

She cackles, pointing at me. “Uh-huh. That’s what I thought.” She gave me a cheeky little wave. “Have fun in that empty dorm room tonight. Try not to break anything.”

And with that, she spins on her heels and saunters off, leaving me standing there, half-mortified, half-biting back a laugh.

I shake my head, exhaling deeply.

The semester is finally over.

And I am about to spend the night with Kieran.

The excitement is almost unbearable.

I bounce on the balls of my feet as I pace my dorm room, glancing at my phone every two minutes as if that will somehow make time move faster. The final exam is over, Claire has rushed off to Gabe’s, and now, for the first time, Keiran and I are going to have a whole night together.

A real night together. No rushed moments behind locked doors. No sneaking around. Just us.

When my phone finally buzzes, my stomach flutters as I grab it from the desk.

Professor McKnight: Change of plans. Pack a bag. You’re staying at my house tonight, Miss Ravencroft.

I bite my lip, fingers flying over the keyboard. The butterflies in my stomach begin whirring around.

Deirdre: So bossy.

The response came almost immediately.

Professor McKnight: I’ll show you bossy soon. Now be a good girl. I’ll be up there in fifteen minutes.

Butterflies form low in my stomach, and I can already feel the ache between my legs grow.

Deirdre: Yes, Professor.

Sliding my phone into my back pocket, I look around the room, suddenly nervous.

What the hell am I supposed to pack?

It’s just Kieran. I’ve been alone with him plenty of times. I’ve had him in ways I’d never had anyone before. So why are my hands shaking as I grab my overnight bag?

Maybe because this feels different.

Like something is shifting between us.

I grab some essentials, leggings, an oversized sweater, a few toiletries, and throw them in my bag. But as I rummage around for something to sleep in, I let out a sigh. I know Claire has better options than some of the raggedy night clothes I own. She wouldn’t mind if I borrowed something.

I step over to her dresser, flipping through the soft fabrics of her sleep shirts, before pulling out a silky purple tank top. This is perfect.

Just as I am about to turn back toward my bag sitting on the bed, the door opens and the floor creaks behind me. The butterflies in my stomach begin to flit around.

My lips curl up as I turn. “You’re early…”

A searing pain explodes throughout my skull.

A sickening crack rings through the room as something heavy slams into the side of my head. White-hot agony splits my vision, and before I can process what’s happening, I’m falling to the ground. My body crumples against the dresser, the impact sending Claire’s things scattering across the floor.

The room begins to go black with little stars peppering my vision.

A dark, hooded figure is standing over me.

Not Kieran.

Before my brain can connect the pieces, the figure’s hands tangle in my hair, yanking me upright. A whimper slips from my lips as my knees scrape against the old carpet. My body is too stunned to react. I try to fight back, but my muscles won’t cooperate.

My head is throbbing. My vision begins to tunnel.

It’s not until I feel the cold floor of the hallway that I realize I am being dragged.

Out of the dorm. Into the back stairwell.

The door slams shut behind us with a loud echo.

My sluggish limbs attempt to free my hair from the man’s grasp, but I’m too dizzy. A voice, low and filled with venom, whispers against my ear.

“If I can’t have you, then no one can.”

My head slams into the cold, hard concrete of the wall. Another blinding wave of pain sends sharp shocks of electricity through my skull.

His hands let go of my hair, and I can feel myself falling.

It feels like I am floating for an eternity before my body collides with the stairs, tumbling down, my limbs twisting and bones grinding against the unyielding surface.

I try to scream, but it’s cut off as my head smacks the landing below. A tiny moan escapes my lips, and the figure steps over me. I hear the footsteps fade down the stairs as I writhe around on the ground in pain.

A warm, sticky wetness pools beneath my head and drips down my temple into my eyes.

Blood.

Before the world fades to black, I feel the faint, persistent buzzing of my phone in my pocket.

Kieran.