Page 16

Chapter 15

Kieran

“I became insane, with long intervals of horrible sanity.” Edgar Allan Poe

T he moment I step out of my car, I rush across the courtyard toward the social district where rows of fraternity and sorority houses line the streets.

I was already on edge when I arrived, knowing I had no business being here. After she sent me that picture, I thought about all the wandering eyes in that room. It made me sick. I couldn’t stop thinking about my hands on her. I craved her. I became a man obsessed. I had to be inside her tonight.

Fuck the rules.

As soon as I get within earshot, I can hear the shouting and start running.

As the night wore on with no response from her, something told me I needed to come. Now, standing in the shadows in front of the thrumming house, I hear Brandon’s voice, cutting through the night, sharp and full of malice.

“You think you can just walk away like that?”

I move fast, my pulse hammering. My eyes lock onto the scene unfolding on the front lawn of the frat house. Deirdre stands rigid, her arms crossed over her chest, and there’s tension in her stance, like she’s fighting the urge to bolt. Brandon is towering over her, his stance aggressive, his face twisted in a sneer.

I hear the next words leave his mouth, and a sharp, cold fury rips through me.

“You’d rather spread your legs for McKnight, huh?”

I don’t remember crossing the distance, only the blinding rage in my chest and the way my body moves on instinct. One second, Brandon is standing there, running his mouth. Next, I grabbed him by the collar of his stupid, overpriced button-down and shove him backward.

His drunken stumble barely registers before I slam him against the porch railing.

“What the fuck did you just say?” My voice is low and seething with venom.

Brandon lets out a breathless laugh, despite the fact that my fist is pressing against his chest. “Oh, look. Right on cue. The knight in shining armor.” His lip curls, and he sneers, “Guess I was right then, huh? Pretty little teacher’s pet…”

I don’t let him finish. My fist connects with his jaw before the words are fully formed.

Brandon goes down hard. The dull crack of knuckles against bone is muffled by the sound of the party still raging behind us. He lands in the grass, groaning, one hand clutching his face.

I step forward, looming over him. The crowd that’s gathered is hushed, just watching.

I crouch slightly, lowering my voice to something only he can hear. “Listen to me, you entitled little shit. You ever so much as look at her again, I’ll make sure you never breathe the same air as her again.”

Brandon glares up at me, attempting to mask the fear I’ve now put in him.

I straighten, stepping back, raising my voice for the crowd to hear. “Don’t bother showing your face in my class again. Or near her .”

My gaze flicks toward Deirdre, who’s standing motionless a few feet away, her expression shocked.

The murmurs of onlookers start to grow louder, and before I can process it, Claire bursts through the crowd.

“What the hell is going on?” Her wide eyes dart from me to Deirdre, then to Brandon, who’s still groaning on the ground. Then, she looks back at me. “Professor McKnight?”

There’s an unspoken question in her voice.

Deirdre doesn’t answer. She looks at Claire, then at the guy standing next to her, Tyler, one of Brandon’s fraternity brothers.

Deirdre takes a slow breath. “Claire, I’m so sorry, but I’m going back to the dorm.”

Claire frowns. “D…” she says as she steps toward her friend, shivering in the night air, more from her anxiety than the temperature.

“I’m fine.” But I can see the slight tremble in her hands. She is most certainly not fine.

Claire’s eyes flick back to me. Then, she exhales and nods. “Professor, can you make sure she makes it back to our dorm hall?”

“Of course, Miss. Thompson,” I respond. My gaze shifts to Tyler, “Tyler, ensure that Miss Thompson makes it safely back to her room. Understand?”

Tyler looks at his friend still rolling on the ground, and back at me. “Y-Yes, sir.”

Deirdre hesitates for half a second before I step forward, shrugging out of my coat. Gently, I drape it over her shoulders. She doesn’t protest.

Without another word, we turn away from the party, leaving the chaos behind us.

The dimly lit courtyard is eerily quiet for a Friday night. Looking around, I don’t see a single student in sight. I decide after tonight’s incident that that may be a good thing.

The cold air cuts against my skin as we walk, but I barely feel it. My hands are clenched into fists at my sides, still stinging from the aftermath of hitting that little shit. My pulse hasn’t settled; my mind is still replaying the way he looked at her…the words that dripped from his mouth like poison.

I wanted to kill him.

I glance at Deirdre. She’s quiet, wrapped in my coat, her arms pulled tightly around herself. She hasn’t spoken since we left the party, and I can’t tell if it’s because she’s processing what happened or because she’s furious with me for getting involved.

My phone buzzes in my pocket.

I retrieve it, my body filling with dread when I see the name that is brightly lit up on the screen.

That was fast.

I sigh and hit the green button. “This is McKnight.”

President Sheridan’s voice is steady, controlled. “There’s a rumor you were assaulted at the fraternity party.”

My jaw tenses as he pauses. I don't think he is waiting for me to respond, so I remain quiet.

“Kieran, I’m not sure what you were doing at a fraternity party in the first place, but most of the students have posted to their social media that you responded in self-defense after Miss Ravencroft was also reportedly assaulted by Mr. Danforth.”

My jaw relaxes. I expected a fallout, not for anyone to say I acted in self-defense. Before I can speak, Sheridan continues.

“I’ve never liked that kid, and it appears that neither do most of his fraternity brothers. I guess Daddy’s money and entitlement can’t buy you friends or loyalty.”

Another pause. “I want you in my office on Monday so we can discuss how we can keep this story clean, considering you’re my most valuable professor here at Cornelia.”

I exhale slowly, forcing my voice to remain steady. “Yes, sir. Understood.”

The call ends, and I slip the phone back into my pocket.

Deirdre is watching me now, her expression is full of concern in the dim glow of the courtyard lights. She stops walking, and I follow suit.

“Who was that?” she asks, her voice is quiet but edged with something I can’t quite place.

“President Sheridan.”

“What did he say? Why did you show up tonight?” she presses.

I should lie. I should tell her I happened to be in the area. But I don’t.

I can’t. I can’t tell her that my possessiveness led me to show up at the party.

Instead, I hold her gaze and say nothing.

Her arms tighten around herself. “Do you realize how much trouble you could possibly be in? Everyone saw you defend me. There was no hiding that.”

The concern in her voice makes me soften. My hand twitches at my side, so I reach out to her, pulling her closer to me.

“Deirdre, President Sheridan and I will figure it out,” I say, my voice even. “Luckily, everyone is posting against Danforth. No one knows about us.”

She huffs out a breath, a bitter laugh escaping her lips. “Except Claire, now.”

That catches me off guard. “Haven’t you told her?”

She shakes her head. “Not outright, no.” A beat of silence. Then, barely above a whisper, “There’s no way I can deny it to her now, though.”

I study her, the way her hair catches the light, the way her hands grip my coat like it’s the only thing keeping her steady. “She seems trustworthy,” I say finally.

“She is,” Deirdre murmurs.

“I think you should tell her. You need to have someone to talk to other than me.”

She nods.

We start walking along the path again, but my mind is still caught on the way Brandon looked at her, the way he spoke to her. I force myself to take a breath, to push down the anger that’s still simmering beneath my skin.

Then, her shaky voice cuts through the quiet.

“Thank you.”

I stop, turning to face her. Her eyes meet mine, wide and vulnerable, and for a second, all I want to do is pull her into me, to promise her that she’ll never have to deal with assholes like Brandon again.

Instead, I let the truth slip from my lips.

“I came tonight because I was going insane sitting at home, knowing you were wearing that and other men’s eyes would be on you. I shouldn’t be this possessive of you, but just the thought of Brandon being even in the same vicinity as you…it made me sick.”

A soft smile plays across her face in the dim light. “I’m glad you were there. No one else was in their right mind to stop him, and they probably didn’t care to do so.”

Despite wearing my coat, her body begins to tremble again, and her eyes are filled with sadness.

I know that look.

I’ve seen it before. Hell, I’ve worn it before. The heavy burden of a pain that’s been trapped inside for too long, eating away at your soul.

She takes a breath, deep and shaky, before exhaling through her nose.

“I never told you why I came here,” she finally says. Her voice is small, cautious, like she’s testing the weight of the words before setting them free.

I don’t move. I don’t press her. I just wait.

She swallows hard. “My dad was sick for a long time. Cancer.” She presses her lips together before continuing. “Before he passed, he made me promise that I’d leave. That I’d get away from…” Her throat bobs. “Trevor.”

My entire body tenses at the name.

She looks down at her hands, twisting the fabric of my coat sleeves. “I thought I loved him. When we first started dating, he was charming. Attentive. He said all the right things.” Her voice hardens, and when she speaks again, it’s laced with bitterness. “It started small. A little shove when he was angry. A bruising grip on my wrist when I upset him.”

A feeling of rage begins to boil inside me.

She drags a hand through her hair, exhaling bitterly. “But I still stayed. Because he always apologized. He always swore he didn’t mean it. And I wanted to believe him. I gave him everything, all of me, despite the things he did. I thought it would make him love me, ya know? Fix things, I guess.” She shakes her head, almost like she’s angry at herself. “But it got worse. The first time he hit me, really hit me, he cried afterward. He told me he loved me and that he had just lost control because he cared so much.”

My stomach turns.

She keeps going. “And I was stupid enough to believe him. Again.”

I clench my fists so tightly my nails dig into my palms.

Deirdre lets out a breath, her gaze distant. “My dad knew. I tried to hide it, but he wasn’t blind. I’ll never forget the night I came home with another busted lip. The cancer had taken over, there was nothing left to be done. He begged and pleaded. He told me if I didn’t leave, he would turn him in.”

Her voice wavers. “So I did. I packed a bag that night and never looked back. I left before my dad passed. I wasn’t even there for his funeral. I’ve never even been to his grave. It’s been a year.” Her soft sobs break through her words, and her tears flow slowly down her cheeks. She closes her eyes and tilts her head down to the ground.

Silence stretches between us, thick and heavy. Tonight catapulted her back into some of her darkest memories, and she stood up for herself.

She doesn’t see just how strong she is.

I don’t even realize I’ve moved until I’m in front of her, pulling her into me. My hands find her face, and my thumbs swipe away her tears as they continue to fall.

I lift her face up, and she opens her eyes to gaze into mine. What I see there wrecks me.

Pain.

“Are you going to say anything?” Her voice cracks. “Judge the meek little girl standing in front of you?”

Judgment?

That’s the last thing I feel. All I feel is rage coursing through me. Not at her, but at them, Trevor and Brandon. Two little boys who thought they could tear down this beautiful woman standing in front of me. And at every single person who had the chance to protect her and didn’t.

I exhale sharply through my nose, my voice a low, controlled growl.

“I will kill him.”

Her breath hitches, but I don’t stop.

“If he ever comes near you again, Deirdre, I will stop at nothing to make sure he never lays a fucking hand on you.” I hold her gaze, my voice steady, unwavering. “Do you hear me?”

A single tear slips down her cheek, but she nods.

I slide my hands down her face and gently take her hands in mine. She doesn’t pull away.

“I don’t need you to fight my battles, Kieran,” she whispers.

I shake my head. “I know. But I will, anyway.”

She exhales a shaky breath, her fingers tightening around mine.

For the first time since she started speaking, I see it, the tiniest flicker of relief. Like she finally knows she can let go of the weight she’s carried for far too long.

Just how I felt the night I confessed about Alexis’ death.

And I vow, right then and there, that I’ll never let her carry this pain alone again.

We continue our steps toward the hall in silence until she stops under one of the many large maple trees that line the stone pathway. When she turns to look at me, instead of seeing the pain I saw earlier, I notice a hint of desire mixed with a mischievous smirk playing across her lips.

Turning toward her, I stand tall. “Miss Ravencroft?”

She looks around and steps backward further underneath the tree. “You know, Professor…We probably should just go our separate ways now. The dorm is just over there.” She points down the walkway.

I take a step toward her as she tilts her chin up to meet my stare. “Is that what you want? Do you want me to leave right now?”

The grin on her face widens, and her eyes are twinkling despite the darkness. She’s daring me to do something, to touch her.

The space between us is charged, thick with desire. Deirdre stands before me, her chest rising and falling with every quick breath she takes.

I’m not sure who moves first, her or me. But suddenly, the distance between us is gone.

I reach for her, my hands framing her face, tilting her chin up to meet mine. She inhales sharply, her lips parting slightly, and that’s all it takes.

I melt into her. When our lips meet, our bodies fumble backward, and her back slams against the tree.

The rough contact of the wooden bark against her thin sweater elicits a moan from her lips.

The kiss is deep, urgent, all restraint snapping like a tension wire pulled too tight for too long. She tastes like the stale beer from the party and delicious temptation. I know what we’re doing is wrong, but fuck the rules. Fuck Cornelia Heights.

Her fingers knot in my shirt, gripping me like she’s afraid I’ll pull away. As if I would.

I press my body firmly into her. She gasps against my mouth when she feels the growing length in my slacks. Her body molds to mine like we were made to fit this way. My hands roam, sliding down her sides, memorizing every curve, every sharp inhale she takes as my lips leave hers, only to drag down her jaw to her throat.

“Kieran,” she breathes shakily, her voice a plea and a warning. “We shouldn’t…”

I groan against her skin, my control hanging on by a fraying thread. “Tell me to stop.”

She doesn’t.

Instead, she tugs me back to her, kissing me harder, fiercer, like she’s trying to drown in me the way I’m drowning in her.

My hands tighten on her hips, anchoring her against me, and she arches into my touch, pressing impossibly closer.

The alarm in my head is screaming. This is dangerous! Anyone could walk by and see us.

Everything that has transpired over the last two weeks is everything I said I wouldn’t allow to happen when I saw her walk into my classroom. I knew that the attraction I felt for her at Salvation could never come to fruition with her being my student.

Well, I sure fucked that right to hell. Literally.

But right now, with her body against mine, her lips swollen from my kisses, her breath mingling with mine in the electric space between us, I know one thing is certain.

I am so fucking lost in her.

And I don’t want to be found.