Page 30 of Neptune

The car is already waiting for us at the back of the building. After we get inside, the driver starts the journey back home. Uncomfortable silence falls between us.

Throughout the journey, Luke doesn't even spare me a glance. He throws his gaze out of the window, and it's breaking my heart.

"It's not what you think, "I say, my voice shaking.

But he cares not.

Once we arrive at our house, Luke heads to his room with full strides, and I follow him, trying to keep up with his pace. When we step into his room, and after I close the door behind me, he finally snaps his body around, making my breath catch in my throat at his painfully cold stare.

"Reuniting with your old fucking flame, huh?" His tone is unbearably harsh, cutting me.

I stare at him in disbelief. "What are you talking about?"

He scoffs, but it isn't anywhere near playful. The sarcasm he's throwing at me is killing me. "Goddammit, Cassie, you know damn well what I mean."

"No, I don't," I say defiantly. "I don't understand at all why you're making such a stupid accusation."

Luke's jaw tightens, and I know that I just made his blood boil even more.

"What I fucking saw back there was more than enough," he hisses.

I feel my body shaking with anger. Did he really see everything from the wrong perspective?

Did I really give him the impression that I wanted that kiss with Jude?

Well, our position back there might have caused a misunderstanding to anyone who saw it. It might have looked like I was cupping his cheeks to deepen the kiss, whereas I was trying to push him away.

But Luke isn't just anyone . He’ll listen to me, won’t he?

"You're wrong," I say in a firm tone. "I didn't want that kiss. He forced me," I shout .

He eyes me indifferently, and I feel like there's no air for me to breathe anymore, as if it has been sucked out of my lungs.

Oh, God. He doesn't believe it. At all.

Tears start to pool in my eyes, and I don't remember when I become so weak for him. Why does his indifference hurt me so much to the point that I feel like breaking apart?

Am I not used to people accusing me and not believing in me?

"Are you being serious right now?" I ask in disbelief. "If I had wanted to cheat, I wouldn't even have told you that he was there with me. Are you that blind?"

He scoffs again, more bitter.

"Come on. You knew that I was going to figure it out even if you didn't tell me about it.

That was why you decided to text me, right?

So that I wouldn't just barge into your workplace like what happened in Jamie's studio.

" Every word coming out of his mouth slices my heart.

"In the end, you knew that I was coming nonetheless, but you didn't calculate the time accurately," he pauses, his eyes cold.

"Or maybe you both just lost track of time. "

My mouth drops open. Does he really think that I'm that kind of woman?

"I didn't want it," I say, my voice shaking due to all the emotions building up inside me.

How can I make him believe that I wasn't trying to stab him in his back?

"I know that our marriage is just a fucking piece of paper for you, but I didn't expect that you would be that stupid," he keeps going, creating more scars in my heart.

No, please, stop it. Don't say anything anymore.

"You might be a good singer, but you're the worst actress," he deadpans.

"Luke!" I shout.

I stare into his eyes, but the look I saw in them these past few days is now gone, replaced by death. He's a different man, one that I don't know at all .

"I didn't cheat on you," I whisper brokenly, my voice soft, begging him to believe my words.

He stays silent for a few seconds before saying in a cold voice, "Liar."

I choke, the lump in my throat hurting me to the core. My heart breaks into pieces as I watch Luke walk out of the room with his fist clenched angrily at his side.

???

After I go back to my room, I can only cry on my bed, hugging my knees. My heart still breaks every time I remember Luke walking away.

Why are we like this?

Why can't he believe me?

Tears are streaming down my cheeks. My sobs break, and it's becoming uncontrollable. Everything around me becomes blurry as I break down.

I can't erase the image of his angry face as he accused me of betraying him, how he didn't even want to listen to me even though I was begging him to believe me, how he didn't think twice about me being a cheater.

It hurts to know that the only man whose opinion matters to me right now isn't on my side when I need him the most.

I'm starting to doubt whether I can trust him or not, whether he's my safe haven or not. How stupid I was to think that he was.

What hurts the most is that he thought that I was that kind of woman . The one who wouldn't think twice to throw herself at another man.

I thought that he was different. I thought that he could be the one I turn to when the rest of the world is against me.

But I'm wrong.

A soft cry of frustration leaves my lips. Now that I stare down at my bedsheet, I don't know why my tears won't stop flowing .

Why does Luke's opinion matter so much to me?

Why is the way he sees me as a woman so important to me?

Why do I think that nothing else matters as long as he believes me?

Why did my heart shatter into a million pieces the last time he looked at me with such coldness in his eyes?

Those are the questions that I have no idea how to answer.

One thing for sure is that tonight is going to be a long night while I'm breaking apart.

It’s so different from the other night when I was crying in his embrace, when I thought that I'd never been so safe in my whole life, when his warmth made all of my problems vanish into thin air.