Page 18 of Neptune

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CASSIE

L ater in the afternoon, I lie on my bed, staring at Aiden's painting hung on my bedroom wall—I asked the housemaids to frame it and hang it there yesterday.

Gazing at his beautiful and heartwarming creation brightens me up when I feel lonely.

But then the thought of what Morgan did today makes my mind restless again. I can't help but think that she really wants to kick me out of her life.

After all, I've kicked her first, even though I did it only in terms of her profession.

What did I expect? She didn't even come to my wedding.

My eyes dart to my phone lying on my nightstand. I haven't gathered the courage to check all the voice messages she left when I didn't answer any of her calls before my wedding.

Taking a deep breath, I grab my phone and decide to check them now. I press the button to hear them, putting my phone on my ear. But what I hear makes me regret my decision in an instant.

" What the fuck are you doing ?" Her harsh tone echoes in my ear. " Did you think that you could just kick me out like this? Is this what you do to me after I made you who you are ?"

My hand shakes as I hold the phone. I should end this message, but I just can't bring myself to do so.

" You think you're so smart, huh ?" she hisses, her voice laced with venom. " No matter how great you think you are, you'll never overpower me. You're nothing without me, Cassie. Nothing . "

My head is spinning. I shouldn't let her words dictate who I am. However, it sounds so true that I feel nauseated.

" Did you think firing me was your best decision? " she hollers. " Fuck you. This is the worst decision that has ever crossed your fucking stupid brain ."

The lump in my throat is getting bigger.

" Mark my words, Cassie ," Morgan threatens. " You will regret this. You will lose everything you've been working hard for. Because without me, you're just trash. And people throw trash away. The world will trash you in no time ."

My trembling hand can't hold the phone anymore, and it drops onto my bed, her voice still echoing, fading out.

I stare blankly at the wall ahead, feeling the same amount of heartbreak and fear consuming me. I don't know how many voice messages Morgan has left for me, but the more I listen to them, the further my sanity leaves me.

My insecurity consumes me. Morgan's voice messages have ended, but her words keep echoing in my ears.

I'm nothing without her. I'm just trash.

My heart beats fast as I stare again at my phone, now lying on the bed. No, it isn't true, is it? I shouldn't let her words get through to me. The world sees me because I've shown them that I'm worth it, not because of her.

Sighing, I decide to check my phone again to catch up with work so that I can get my mind off her. I haven't read people's responses about my latest paid partnership deals, and that makes me drawn to Instagram.

I log into my account and tap my latest picture. There, I see tons and tons of comments. Some of them say really good things, but I don't know why I keep scrolling down, as if I'm trying to find something else.

And just as I expected, some other comments are liked by many people too, but there's nothing good about what they say.

So my favorite brand of shoes now uses a slut to promote their products? ?

She's not even pretty. Disgusting.

Meh. After seeing this picture, I won't buy their products anymore.

I'm here for these comments. LOL. It's true. Cassie = temporary. Even men know that.

I take a deep breath, but it feels like the air in my lungs is being sucked. My chest heaves up and down.

No, Cassie. Stay sane. Remember what Oscar said. Haters are gonna hate.

This isn't real. Remember what Paul said.

Those are just empty words. They're not real. Once you put your phone down, they're gone.

Still, I can't put my phone down, my eyes drinking every word, because deep down in my heart, I believe them.

The nausea I'm feeling gets worse. All the horrible feelings stir inside me, and I feel something kick up my stomach to the point that I have to throw up.

I shoot my hand to cover my mouth and run to the bathroom. I can't even wait until I reach the toilet so I throw up in the sink instead.

???

For the rest of the day, I stay in my room. The idea of making new music or playing with Aidan has vanished into thin air.

I didn't take my lunch, and right now, as I glance at the clock, it has passed dinner time.

Ms. Langston has visited my room countless times today to remind me to eat, but I decline her offer every time she comes here.

She has placed the food on my nightstand instead, which I haven't touched at all.

Based on what she said earlier, Luke works overtime today and he still hasn't come back from his office. She said that he would be very much pissed with this situation.

It seems like Ms. Langston has run out of ideas to force me to eat because I caught her calling Luke after she left my room.

The night goes by, and I'm still glued on my bed, curled into a ball. I've skipped two meals, not to mention that I threw up my breakfast. I'm doing this again. I don't eat every time Morgan lashes out at me, every time I feel worthless.

And when Luke barges into my room suddenly, still in his office suit, I startle. Just like Ms. Langston predicted, he looks very angry. He pants, like he just hurried here. I see the fire in his eyes as he stands in my doorway.

"What the hell are you doing?" he bites out.

The tone of his voice ticks me to fight back, but I just don't have any more energy to argue with him—I'm too weak to do so.

"None of your business," I say. Indeed, my voice sounds so weak.

Luke's jaw tightens as he strides toward me, and my instinct to protect myself makes me retreat so my back knocks the headboard behind me.

I gulp as he reaches my bed. He glances at my food tray lying on my nightstand and glares at me.

"Eat," he commands with implacable authority.

I shake my head, refusing his idea, looking away from him. "I don't have any appetite." I'm saying the truth.

"Stop being unreasonable and just fucking eat, Cassie," he says. His harsh tone makes me snap my head up toward him.

I shoot him the same glare. "I don't want to. It's not like I'm going to die in your house. Just leave me alone."

He doesn't even know anything about me, and now he's saying that I'm being unreasonable? He doesn't even know my struggles, my miseries.

"Just eat the damn food," he snaps.

I wonder why he's so mad. But then I get the idea.

He has to take care of another child in this house, aside from Aiden.

Even I myself believe that Aiden is a better child.

Better behaviour and better looks, of course.

Gosh, he's an angel, while I look nothing less than a corpse now.

I remember how pale I looked when I stared into the mirror today.

"Just leave me alone," I insist.

It's surprising that although I feel like all the energy has been drained out of my body, I still can talk back to him. Luke's face hardens before he grabs the food tray. However, before he can shove it to me, I feel extreme nausea attack me again.

I gag, covering my mouth in my hands, and rush toward the bathroom. I can feel Luke following suit, and I hate that he can see this, making me even more embarrassed.

Again, I throw up into the sink. There's nothing left from my insides to throw up—it's just fluid. Luke holds my arm, his other hand on my back as I cough.

I want to scream and yell at him to just leave. "Don't," I rasp between my nonstop coughs. "It's gross."

Why does he have to be here when I throw up again? Starving myself has made my nausea even worse. This is the third time that I’ve thrown up today.

But Luke doesn't listen to me and pats my back instead. I turn on the water and wipe my mouth. Luke helps me walk back into my room and makes me sit on my bed.

"Goddammit, Cassie, you have to eat. I won't tolerate this." His once angered voice now softens, shaking. "Why the fuck did you starve yourself?" His piercing hazel eyes bore into mine, forcing me to not tell him a single lie.

"It's..." I falter, breaking our eye contact. "It's just the way I punish myself," I whisper, feeling ashamed.

Luke holds my shoulders gently to make me look at him again, and I see the worry in his eyes.

"You will not do it again,” he says. “What kind of nonsense caused you to have that stupid idea? Did you just believe some shit?"

Yes , I want to answer him that. Yes, I did believe what Morgan and my haters said on social media. But no sound leaves my mouth, and I guess that my silence makes him realize that it's true.

His jaw tightens, and for a split second, pain flashes in his eyes. He pulls away and takes the plate from the tray. "Eat," he says again before his eyes soften. “Do you want me to feed you?”

I look at the food and then back at his face. I swallow. Does he really want to feed me right now?

My mind begins to consider what he said earlier because this looks beyond ridiculous, and embarrassing.

However, I still don't move an inch, and that’s when he scoops one spoon.

"Stop." I push against the headboard. "Stop. I get it. I will eat."

Without waiting for his response, I snatch the plate from him and begin eating, starting with the garlic bread. I do it so abruptly that I almost choke myself with the food.

Luke sits on my bed and stares at me without blinking, watching my every move as I swallow the food. "Eat slowly. You don't want to upset your stomach," he says in a soft tone.

And I do as he told. Luke doesn't take his eyes off me the entire time I eat, as if he has to make sure that I stick to my words and that I finish my dinner. It feels so uncomfortable.

In the end, I finish it without leaving anything on the plate.

A small smile tugs at the corner of Luke's lips, and that cocky expression is back again on his face. He takes the tray, stands up and heads to the door. Once he reaches it, he turns to me with an annoying smirk.

"That went well. Now, have a good rest and sleep," he says before closing the door with a soft thud.