Page 7 of Nave (Henchmen MC: Next Generation #14)

Lolly

It was an honest question for someone who knew what a complete germaphobe Ben was.

His aversion to touch was actually one of the few comforts I had in the latter years of our so-called ‘relationship.’ I didn’t have to suffer Ben’s attentions often.

In the early stages, it had been a source of intense insecurity for me. In my past experiences with men, the physical connection had been important to them. In turn, I found a source of security in that interest.

Then there was Ben.

Who didn’t want to hold my hand, let alone kiss me. And even when he did force himself to, it was a quick peck on the lips, not anything lingering or passionate.

It wasn’t until I moved in with him—and submitted to all his many requests and demands on how to and how often to bathe (three times a day)—that he finally decided to consummate the relationship.

It had been the most awkward, cold, unfeeling encounter of my life.

I’d come out of the shower, all squeaky clean, and he’d invited me over to the bed where he’d set up a picnic mat layered with—I kid you not—paper towels.

Then I’d been carefully placed on it, bare naked.

While he stood there fully dressed and poured lube down the center of me.

I’d just lain there in shock and confusion as he freed himself—but only his erection—then slid on a condom, moved in, and, well. Everyone knew what happened next.

As one can imagine, there was no actual pleasure in the act. It was weird and mechanical and over very, very quickly.

Then when it was over, Ben had used rubber gloves to remove the condom and clean up the paper towels and picnic blanket, tossing them all in the bathroom and demanding I take another shower.

Which I’d been glad to do. I needed privacy to alternate between laughing and wanting to cry. Because… what the hell was that, right?

By the time I was clean again, I had myself convinced that it was just new intimacy jitters. Just the awkwardness you sometimes felt with a new partner. That it was a good sign that Ben wanted me that way. Even if the whole act did nothing for me.

Maybe this is the part where other women would have cut and run. But, well, it wasn’t the first time I’d been with a man who had no interest in my pleasure, who didn’t do foreplay, who didn’t last long enough for the sensations to really build.

So it wasn’t completely new to me.

I’d climbed back into my bed alone. I always slept alone. Ben refused to share a bed, muttering about drool and sweat. And I’d been something, you know, close to happy.

The thing was, it wasn’t just new intimacy jitters.

Every single encounter with Ben from that point on went down exactly the same way. It became, I don’t know, routine. Something you went through the motions of. Like brushing your teeth or shaving your legs.

As the years stretched on and my feelings for Ben went from confusion to disgust, to outright hatred, I became increasingly glad that his sex drive was much lower than an average man’s.

It meant I only had to endure him maybe once or twice a month.

Less, even, when I learned that I could rebel by refusing to bathe on his personal schedule.

Even cutting down to once a day was ‘revolting.’ So you could imagine his dismay if I deigned to skip a day.

He didn’t even want to be in the same room with me.

Of course, the appearance of Edith made it impossible to keep engaging in those little rebellions, lest I put her comfort or life at risk.

So, I’d needed to start enduring Ben’s attentions again.

But not only was it safe, in that Ben would never let some part of him touch a woman bare like that, but I’d also had an implant placed right when we’d started dating.

The odds of getting pregnant were next to nothing.

Except that, over time, implants became less effective. And condoms had a ten to fifteen percent failure rate.

The universe was a bitch sometimes.

Or maybe it had divine insight.

Knowing the only thing that would have made me brave enough to find a way out was to never, ever want my child to have to live the way I did.

I let out a huff of a laugh.

“Well,” I told Nave, “it involved as little touching as humanly possible,” I admitted. “And it was always, you know, safe. But…”

Nave watched me for a second, seemingly at a loss for what to say. “Have another donut,” he settled on.

The laugh burst out of me at that.

“Sorry,” he said, shaking his head. “My father always shows understanding and concern with food.”

“That’s sweet.” And I really did want a jelly donut.

“Does Ben know?”

“God, no,” I said over a big bite, powdered sugar puffing up in the air around me.

“But you’re sure? You don’t want to grab a test?”

“I’m sure. I had to fake periods so he didn’t suspect anything. And I’ve been lucky enough not to have morning sickness.”

“You’re not showing.”

My hand went to my belly, which felt stretched to bursting. So much sugar and so many carbs. I was going to crash hard once the adrenaline wore off.

“No. My math says I’m only maybe nine weeks, give or take a few days.”

He nodded at that.

“Okay. Look, I think I might have an idea for somewhere you can stay where you won’t have to worry about being caught on any cameras. But I’m going to need to call my cousins and discuss it. As for work, you don’t have to worry about that.”

“Except I kind of do.”

“You’re not going to have rent or anything like that.”

That sounded way too good to be true. But I wasn’t going to argue with him about it.

“But I still need to work. Babies cost money. And not to mention the fact that I don’t have medical coverage and having babies costs, what, like fifteen grand?”

“Like I said, you don’t gotta worry about it.”

“I can’t ask—”

“I’m offering.” I opened my mouth to object, but Nave held up a hand and gave me an understanding nod. “Look, there are a lot of kinks to iron out moving forward. Let’s just focus on the next step ahead right now, okay?”

“Okay,” I agreed, shoulders relaxing. “I can do that.”

“So the next step is letting you go steal my room to wash the road off of you. Maybe get some sleep if you can over the racket. The door locks from the inside. There are no cameras.”

“That’s almost a foreign concept,” I admitted.

“You’re gonna get used to it. Privacy. Sheets that don’t gotta get cleaned every single day. Shoes in the house if you want. A second cup of coffee. Baked goods and junk food…”

The moisture gathered in my eyes too quickly to blink away before he saw it.

“Hey,” he said, head falling to the side. “It’s going to be alright, okay?” he asked, reaching out an arm, offering a hug without forcing one on me.

As if I would turn that down.

I hadn’t had a hug in too many years to remember.

I all but fell into his arms, feeling him wrap me up tight enough to squeeze the air from my lungs. And all I did was press closer, wrapping my own arms around him. Like if I held on tightly enough, maybe I wouldn’t feel so unmoored, so adrift.

I turned my face into his neck, relieved to find something other than bleach and antiseptic soap.

Nave smelled a little spicy, from his soap or deodorant, but underneath that, just a little salty. Human. Real.

“Everything’s gonna be okay now, Loll,” Nave said, and I could feel his lips moving on my hair even as his hands drifted up and down my back.

I might have stayed just that way forever. But there was a collective cheer from somewhere in the backyard that had me jumping and Edith barking.

We both pulled away, and I reached for Edith’s leash as I shushed her.

“You picked a noisy night to drop in,” Nave said, tone apologetic.

“Honestly, I kind of like it. Everything the last few years has been so quiet.”

“Except those fucking HEPA filters. Those things would drive me up a wall.” Nave flipped the lid of the donuts closed and picked the box up. “Come on. I’ll give you the nickel tour.”

We moved back past the pool and hot tub, then inside the building where the sounds of the party seemed to be reaching a fever pitch.

Nave led me past the bar and down a long hallway full of doors.

“This is me,” he explained, knocking once on the door before reaching to open it.

He stepped inside, placing the donuts on the dresser just inside, with a large TV hung above it.

“You should bring them back out for everyone else.”

“There are other boxes. And there are only two left. What if you wake up hungry?” he asked, shrugging. “Alright, it isn’t much. Bedroom. No windows. Which is gonna be weird for you.”

“Maybe refreshing,” I said.

“Through here is the bathroom. There are towels and washcloths, but I will go and scrounge you up a toothbrush and hairbrush. If you want, you can steal something of mine to wear.”

I had nothing left that was clean.

“Hey, you alright?” Nave asked, ducking his head to catch my gaze.

“A little overwhelmed, I think.”

“Why don’t you sit for a second while I grab that stuff for you?” he suggested, waving over toward the little chair in the corner of the small room.

There wasn’t much to write home about with the space. A queen-sized bed, a dresser, a TV. Though the comforter on the bed was a plush green linen that looked like a dream to sleep under. And nicer than anything I’d ever seen a man have before.

And on the wall alongside the bed, there were several framed photographs.

They were all nice, but it was one that caught my eye, one that had my stomach dropping.

“Wait… is that…?”

“The woods where you lived? Yeah.”

“But why?”

“I don’t know. I took a lot of pictures over the years when I was traveling.

I picked some of my favorites. Which all happened to be the ones with wildlife in them.

The iguana in Florida,” he said, waving toward the photo.

“The armadillo in Texas. Red wolf in North Carolina. And the deer in your woods.”

“The wildlife was maybe the only thing I did love about the woods,” I admitted, reaching down to lift a sleepy-looking Edith into my lap.

She’d been a real trooper with all the changes in her life. But she was clearly a little overwhelmed.

“I’m gonna go grab your stuff so you can get changed, and the two of you can get some rest.”

With that, he did, coming back with the brushes, a razor, shaving cream, lip balm, lotion, and a chew for Edith to gnaw on while I showered.

“You are free to come out anytime you want. I’ll be kicking around if you need me. But I won’t come in here unless you call for me, okay?”

I offered him a smile, appreciating how he was giving me all the power. After so many years without it.

“Thank you, really, Nave. For everything.”

“It’s nothing.”

It was my life.

My freedom.

My future.

It was everything.

But he was gone before I could find the words to tell him.