Page 25 of Nave (Henchmen MC: Next Generation #14)

Lolly

I would never admit it aloud, but I was bone-deep disappointed when Kit and Ariah said the motorhome was ready again.

I mean, sure, the clubhouse had its drawbacks.

There was no such thing as privacy. Someone was always milling around, interrupting private moments.

And, yeah, it was loud at night. It seemed like the prospects were nocturnal creatures, getting up just in time to do their chores, hit the liquor store to stock up, and party until the sun came up.

Sure, the noise also provided a certain amount of privacy for when Nave’s and my hands started to roam, to tease, to stroke.

I never had to worry about how loud I got when there was no hearing me over the thumping bass beat of the music.

That said, the motorhome, while very private, was really not big enough for the both of us.

I honestly had no idea how Kit and Ariah managed to live in the thing for months at a time. True, they were two smallish women. But still. I felt like I was getting in my own way some days.

Soon, other things would be cluttering up the space: a crib, a swing, plastic containers full of baby clothes and blankets. And whatever the hell else a baby needed.

I felt like I was suffocating just thinking about it.

Then, of course, I immediately felt guilty. I mean, the girls were letting me live on their land for free. Not only that, but they were supplying me with free fruits, veggies, and eggs. They were teaching me new skills. They were inviting me into their friend group.

And here I was being an ingrate about it.

Which was kind of why I insisted on coming back even though Nave told me there was no rush. I didn’t want the girls to think I didn’t appreciate everything they were doing for me.

Watching Nave go that first time had been hard, even though he promised to be back.

I knew that, unless I spent some nights at the clubhouse again, things had kind of regressed for us.

There would be no more sleeping on his chest or waking up with him spooning me.

No shared showers where we got carried away with ourselves. No cooking lessons in the kitchen.

“Everything alright, Loll?” Ria asked. Glancing up, I saw her leaning on her shovel, her long hair piled on top of her head with a scarf, her light-wash overalls smeared with dirt. “You’ve been digging that same hole for about ten minutes.”

“Oh, sorry,” I said, glancing down to where I had the little finger-sized object used to make a hole just big enough to slip a seed into.

“I’m not criticizing you. You’re the only one helping me out. I’m just worried about you.”

Using her elbow, she peeled off one glove, then removed the other, before dropping down a few feet from me. She reached into her pretty pastel pink cooler and drew out two stainless steel bottles. She passed one to me.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“It’s going to make me sound pathetic.”

“Which means a man has to be involved.”

“Yeah, kinda.”

“You’re not going to find judgment from me,” Ria said. “I once took a Greek math class in school because the boy I liked was taking it. Greek math. I barely passed normal math.”

“Did he tutor you?” I asked, loving the way Ariah’s eyes went mischievous.

“Oh, we did a lot of studying, alright. Less math. More anatomy. So, what’s going on? You’re with Nave now, right?”

“We’re that obvious, huh?”

“You can’t keep your hands off each other when he’s here. Which is really sweet. He’s a good guy, if that’s what you’re worried about. I wouldn’t lie to you about that kind of thing just because we’re friends. If he was the kind to make a shitty partner, I’d tell you.”

I believe that. Both she and Kit were straight-talkers and the epitome of girls’ girls. And I imagine a lot of that came from being two young, beautiful, single women on the road for years. They had to look out for each other.

“I just kind of miss how things were when we were at the clubhouse,” I admitted. “We don’t get as much time together here.”

“And there’s no snuggling on a bed that small.”

“That too,” I agreed.

“Did Nave say he doesn’t want you at the clubhouse?”

“No. He just… always comes here.” It had been a week. Ten days, actually, since I moved back in. And as much as I loved his visits, it hurt more each time I had to watch him leave.

Did I worry that those feelings were too needy?

Sure.

But after everything I’d been through, I was choosing to let myself cling to the good. Nave included.

“Well, the answer seems easy, doesn’t it?” When I didn’t immediately answer, Ria shook her head. “Go to him.”

“But I have no reason to go there.”

“You don’t need a reason to go hang out with your man.”

“What if he’s not there?”

“Then you can wait for him. In bed. Naked.”

That wasn’t a bad idea.

“I haven’t really driven since coming to town,” I admitted.

“Babe, you drove for, what, five days straight to get here? I think you can manage ten minutes down the street to the clubhouse.”

“You’re right,” I agreed.

“Of course I am. I’ll even puppy-sit Edith for you, so you guys don’t have to untangle limbs to take her out or feed her.”

“I couldn’t ask you to do that.”

“I think Edith might insist on it,” she said, waving over toward where Edith was tagging along behind her two giant dogs, happy as a clam.

“She’s never been without me.”

“I get that. My girls are my life too. They only had to do without me one night. I fell off a ladder while building the chicken coop, and the doctor insisted on observation for the night. They were fine with Kit. I was much less fine without them. I promise to call Nave if she seems even the least bit uncomfortable or like she’s looking for you. ”

She meant that too.

“Okay then.”

“Now go shower and get yourself an all-night love session.”

With that, she got to her feet and started digging up the old, spent zucchini plants to make room for cold weather crops.

I started back to the motorhome, glancing back to make sure Edith wasn’t looking for me.

She didn’t even know I was gone.

I stripped, showered, shaved, and slathered on the lotion Ariah made for me, then gathered a few things, and made my way to the car.

My belly was doing little flips as I drove down the driveway, pausing to pull on my sunglasses and hat, before turning onto the main road.

I was sure at any moment, red and blue lights would flash, a siren would ring out, and I would be hauled off to jail for driving without a license and having a fake ID.

My palms grew sweaty at just the possibility.

But by the time I turned onto the main street in town, I hadn’t seen a single cop or trooper around.

Being the middle of the day, several bikes were still neatly lined up outside. The vampires weren’t awake yet, it seemed.

Even as I thought it, though, the most vampiric of them all—the tall, dark-haired Spike—made his way out from the side of the building, a hose in his hand.

“Hey, baby,” he called, waving a hand at me.

“Hey, Spike,” I said, approaching.

“You looking for Nave?”

“Yeah.”

“He ran out a little bit ago. But he’s never gone for long. Hang out,” he said, waving toward the clubhouse.

“I think I will,” I agreed, tamping down the urge to run.

These were his people. This was his place. I needed to feel comfortable in and around everyone without Nave as the buffer.

It was moments like this, as my belly wobbled when I entered the clubhouse without an explicit invitation from Nave, that I was reminded of what a different life I’d led for so long.

Maybe, had I never been locked up in the woods with a man bent on controlling everything about me, I would have naturally built a comfort around other people, would feel confident when it came to social interactions with acquaintances and strangers.

But I’d been tucked away from the world. I hadn’t spoken to another human being other than Ben for years.

Even my television was heavily controlled. I got to watch history documentaries and other educational programming. It seemed like a non-problem compared to everything else.

That said, now that I was looking back at it, I was seeing how insidious it was, how it was just another way he removed me from society. I couldn’t even watch people interact for entertainment. I wasn’t given the chance to fantasize about healthy, happy relationships with friends or lovers.

I was as isolated as a human being could be.

And, as I was sure was Ben’s intention, I eventually stopped thinking about things like friends, like life with a kind, supportive, and loving partner.

That was how you kept something captive: you killed its hope of having any other life.

I shuddered to imagine how long I might have stayed with Ben had I not gotten pregnant.

Would my whole life have passed me by?

At what point would Ben no longer want me?

What would happen to me then?

My mind was still on those dark thoughts as I made my way into the clubhouse.

“Lolly,” Cain greeted me from where he was kneeling on the floor with the coffee table turned upward.

“Did someone dance on the table again?”

“And the table finally had enough,” he agreed, reaching for a screwdriver. “Nave ran out. But I figure he will be back soon if you want to wait for him.”

“I think I will.”

“There’s fresh coffee in the kitchen. And leftover pizza in the fridge.”

“Thank you,” I said, giving him a smile.

It was so easy for them. To settle in. To interact. Not overthinking anything.

“You alright?” he asked, head tipped to the side.

“Yeah.”

“Not buying it.”

“I just… how do you settle in so easily?” I asked. “You just got here, but it feels like you’re fully integrated.”

“They make it easy here,” he said, shrugging. “It’s clear from the jump that it’s a family. And they treat you like it from the beginning. Why? You not feeling welcome?”

“I’m just… I’ve been alone a really long time,” I admitted. “I feel really awkward.”

“If it helps, you don’t come off as awkward.”

“That does help, actually.”

“And Nave seems crazy about you. So, you’ve got nothing to feel weird about here.”

“Thank you.”