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Sugar

V elvet was so happy to see us when we got home, she barked and leaped around us.

“She thought I was coming home without you,” Grant said.

“She’s one smart dog.”

Grant cupped my cheek, stroking over it with his thumb. “I thought the same as she did.”

It took us two trips from the garage to the kitchen to unload the groceries plus all the stuff Grant had given me for my move.

I still couldn’t believe I was back in his wonderful, warm cabin. But I kept thinking about my father, and what he might say. Did having Grant count as finding my mate? Was working with him and helping him like a job? Like finding myself?

Christero was a hard Santa to please. If I ended up as a dusty figurine on Grant’s hearth, Grant would go back to the North Pole himself and fight for me. He had promised. I shuddered to think of him facing down the one and only Santa Christero. What if Grant got hurt, too? It worried me, but my happiness at being back at the cabin overrode that.

I spent a lot of time on the floor petting Velvet and letting her know I was staying.

Grant watched us, his eyes bright.

“You know what this means,” he said.

I looked up. “What?”

“You get to come with me to find the perfect Christmas tree.”

I jumped up and threw my arms around him.

That night we cuddled on the couch with cocoa and a roaring fire. He’d lit candles again, though the power wasn’t out. Not this time.

Grant put his arm around my shoulders and held me close. I loved his touch, his scent, his voice. His body. Everything about him. Today was my first kiss and it was perfect because it was him, and because he did it so well.

I had fears, though. I didn’t know what I was doing. What if I screwed up as usual and did things wrong? Maybe my kissing wasn’t so good. And the rest? I was nervous. Would it be tonight that we did more? In his bed? With me on the bottom?

Grant nuzzled my cheek and kissed along my jawline. My head went back, and he kissed my neck. The touch of his lips sent sensations running up and down my body like fire.

He drew back and his free hand touched my chin. “Look at me.”

I turned. He was stunning. Everything I might fantasize in an alpha. I felt drunk gazing at him now that I knew he wanted me. He had said he loved me. I hadn’t said it back, but I did. I’d fallen for him faster than my mind could keep up.

“Tell me what you’re feeling.”

“Good.”

“More than that. Use more words.”

“I just want to feel you more. Not talk.”

“Hmm. What if I want to talk?”

I nodded. Okay. But why did that make me more nervous?

“First,” he said. “Are you okay? It’s been a big day.”

He was delaying. Part of me was grateful, part of me just wanted him to get on with things.

“I’m okay. Glad I don’t have to sleep in that drafty, empty studio.”

“I meant are you okay with me? Sleeping with me?”

“I am.”

“Again, more words.”

“Well, I don’t know what you want me to say.”

“Nothing that would just please me. Tell me, do you want to progress slowly or faster?”

I answered immediately. “Faster.” I bounced once against the cushion.

He smiled. “Maybe not too fast, though?”

“Why are you saying that? Is something wrong?”

“No. Not at all. I think you’re adorable, Sugar. Everything about you has me mesmerized. Never think anything you say or do concerning, um, affection will be wrong. Not with me.”

I let out an abrupt laugh. “Well, I’m not sure I’m as good of a kisser as you are.”

“Why? Because I’m older?”

“Um, it was because it was so good.” I laughed again. “I loved it.”

“Ever been kissed before?”

Slowly, I shook my head.

“Can I ask?”

“What?” I glanced down but his finger tapped my chin. I looked back at him.

“Have you ever been with anyone before?”

I nodded. It wasn’t a lie. “I’m not a virgin if you were thinking that.”

“I wasn’t thinking anything except that I want to know you. And I don’t want to overstep any boundaries you may have.”

I wanted to change the subject. “Did you have other boyfriends? Probably a lot, right?”

“Goodness. Right to the point.” He sighed. “Sometimes. Humans mainly who don’t know anything about me so it couldn’t really go any further than some fun times.”

That made sense. I remembered he said he didn’t know any shifters locally.

“Me, too. I never had a real boyfriend.” I laughed, blurting it out. “Just one time under the Santa’s Village pavilion stage freezing my ass off. The alpha wasn’t nice like you.”

He raised an eyebrow at me. “Not a fun time?”

“I was sixteen and kind of bad and wild, sneaking out at night.” I took a deep breath. “I didn’t like it. It hurt, but,” I waved my hand, “that’s in the past.”

He hugged me tighter to him. “You deserved better. I’m just saying, even if you were sneaking around.”

I shrugged. “I didn’t care. I just didn’t want to do it again.”

“And what about me?”

“You’re different, Grant. I’m not afraid.”

“I don’t want you to be. But if you don’t like something, you also can’t be afraid to tell me. If we’re going to be in a relationship?—”

“Boyfriends?” I interrupted.

He smiled. “Yes, boyfriends. If we’re going to be boyfriends, I want something from you and you can’t argue, you have to give it.”

My insides twisted. “What?”

“Honesty. You have to be honest with me at all times. Including your feelings about when we’re together.”

“In bed?”

“Yes. In bed.” He tickled my chin again. “Do you promise?”

“Yes.”

“I’m alpha, so it’s instinctive for me to take the lead.”

“That’s good. I like that.”

Grant was so good at that. At teaching.

“But you can’t just shut up because it pleases me,” he said. “Because it will most definitely not please me if you don’t like something, or you’re uncomfortable. Or even in pain.”

“Like when I was sixteen.”

“Yes. Like that.”

This was a lot of talking. “Sometimes talking makes me uncomfortable.”

He kissed me on the cheek. “I do understand that. Communication can be the hard part in too many relationships. But those relationships don’t last, either.”

“I like talking to you, Grant. You’re easier to talk to than anyone. Even Sno.”

“Good. Remember that. Because when I ask you questions, you have to be honest or it hurts me, too.”

“I want to be good for you. But I want to be good deep inside, just for me, so I can be more confident. Better.”

“Oh dear. I love hearing that. But, sweetheart, that takes years. It’s called growing up. I’m still on that journey. And probably will be when I’m ninety.”

“You? You seem so confident.”

“Thanks, but everyone in the whole world has their problems. There is no such thing as perpetual smooth sailing in life. Otherwise, it wouldn’t be called life.”

Even if he was still on his journey to growing up, he was so wise. Could I ever aspire to be like that? I realized I had barely just begun. I was still resentful and angry with my father, but a realization I didn’t like hit me. If not for his spell, I would never have met Grant.

Trust my magic.

I didn’t want to think my father had done anything good for me. At the same time, I knew he loved me even when he wasn’t home a lot. He’d been angry when he made the spell. It was punishment.

But now… now Grant was here, and this was exactly where I wanted to be.

Grant still didn’t know I had a Santa for a father. For now, I’d keep that secret until it was the right time to tell him.