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9

Sugar

O utside Grant’s cabin, the snow from the blizzard had created deep swells like frozen waves of a white sea. In some places, those waves were shallow, where the wind had blown it up and around over and over, or where the firs were thick enough to create a canopy that protected the ground. But the trees themselves were like frost giants, completely dressed in early winter’s cloaks.

When Velvet ran out that morning with a happy yelp, her body flew off the porch and disappeared into the white powder. I saw her leaping through the waves, only to get lost again every time she landed.

The air was ice. This snow wasn’t going to melt any time soon.

I waited for Velvet to come back, shivering my ass off, then gathered more wood from the stash on the porch and headed inside.

The aroma of pancakes filled the air, along with eggs and bacon. My stomach gave a loud growl.

I’d slept so well in Grant’s bed. It didn’t feel weird or strange. It was more like I fit. And breathing him in next to me all night was a dream I still hadn’t awakened from.

When I opened my eyes first thing this morning, I was snuggled against his broad shoulder. He was wearing a tank shirt, so there was a lot of bare skin there against my cheek and forehead. He was so warm. Any shivers I felt being in contact with him weren’t from the cold.

I had been having thoughts since my second day here. I wasn’t completely oblivious. What if Grant was the one who was supposed to find me? What if this was where I was supposed to land? Trust my magic.

But Father had also said I needed to find myself and my mate and become responsible. Grant had everything I needed here. It felt like cheating to accept that this was it. It was supposed to be harder, right?

I wasn’t sure my father would approve of a man who did things for me and gave so much. What did that have anything to do with me learning to live, to date, to hold down a job? I needed to learn how to live my life.

But at least I could enjoy myself here in this cabin for the time being.

I walked into the kitchen. “Pancakes. Yum.”

The feast was laid out on the small table. I sat down and immediately dug in.

“I thought maybe today we could go snowshoeing. Ever done it?”

“Nope.” I gulped down my huge mouthful of food before speaking. “I’ve never really traveled or hiked or anything except walking around Santa’s Village.”

“I’ve got an extra pair. It will be fun.”

“And cold.” I pretended to shiver, wrapping my arms around myself.

“Oh, you’ll work up a sweat. Don’t worry.”

Once we were outside, the glare of the sun off the snow was blinding. Every crystal of every wave twinkled. Grant had two pairs of tinted goggles and gave me one. Velvet had to stay behind. Grant said she’d get too cold, too fast.

“We’re not going too far, though, right?”

“Just around the yard at first. This is a beginner friendly sport. You might like it.”

“So I balance with these sticks.”

“They are called poles. And yes.”

Grant was very patient with me. I fell a couple of times, totally buried in snow. My mind went right back to landing in the drift and losing consciousness before Grant found me. But he was there right away, helping me up, giving balancing tips. The shaky feeling went away within a minute.

Soon, I was walking around on the snow like a pro.

“Look, Grant,” I shouted. “I can do it.”

“Looking good, Sugar.”

Everything was so easy with Grant. I got things right. I wanted to do more.

We went partway into the woods, and with all the snow, everything was so silent and pristine. The beauty took my breath.

No more flakes fell from the sky, but fir branches heavy with the powder bent until snow fell from them all around us in soft clumps.

I never complained about the heavy exercise or the cold or wanting to go back. It was too much fun.

When we finally returned to the cabin, I realized almost three hours had passed. My face felt pinched from the air, my feet were cold. And the rest of me had broken out in a sweat, as Grant had said would happen. I was exuberant.

“When can we do it again?”

Grant laughed. “I’m glad you enjoyed yourself.”

Grant had a damn good life here. But he had to get lonely. He’d told me he had acquaintances in Pawtree and sometimes went into town for lunch or dinner. I was glad to hear it. He probably had contacts online, too. Business ones, of course. And as I watched him, he seemed happy. It seemed like he knew everything.

Though he didn’t hunt, he knew about tracking. He knew every kind of animal that lived in the woods. He knew the names of plants and trees. I loved listening to him talk.

“Hey, look. The power’s back on,” I said, looking at the digital lights in the kitchen. We’d turned the gennie off to save fuel before we went out. The fridge was softly humming. The clock on the microwave was flashing.

“Yep. We’re good to go until the next blizzard. And some years they do come often.”

A sharp yearning tightened in my gut. I wanted to know what that was like, see the blizzards come and go, learn the forest and its ways. I wanted to walk in the silence on my snowshoes and think about why I was here and how I should live. The world Grant lived in offered that.

But again, I felt like the spell had been made to push me to get a job, go to the city.

I’d translated that as, “Do your duty.”

Those words never meant “have fun.”

But now as I watched Grant build up the fire, I had a thought. What if it was about more than duty? What if it was simply about fitting in and doing what was needed to be my better self, a better elf?

“We can start shoveling the driveway later, if you want. The snowplow should be through today.”

I lowered my head. Grant was going to send me away. I’d asked him to, but now it felt different. I’d just had such a good time learning something new.

“Sure.” My answer came out soft.

I felt Grant glance at me from the fireplace. I couldn’t look back.

If today was going to be my last day here, then I wouldn’t get to go snowshoeing again. I wouldn’t get to hear Grant breathing in the winter dark and know I was safe. I wouldn’t get to chop more wood or pet Velvet or go with him into the forest to find the perfect Christmas tree.

It seemed I’d been here so much longer than four nights.

After lunch, we were both so tired from snowshoeing we put off shoveling the drive until tomorrow.

“There’s plenty of time,” Grant said.

I wasn’t sure what I should do when bedtime came around again. We had lights. We had heat. There was no mean storm unsettling things. For the moment.

Grant headed to his bedroom.

When I didn’t move, he turned and said over his shoulder, “Coming?”

It was very casually spoken. As if he expected me to take up mattress space and put my cold feet next to his warm ones.

I hurried toward him.

In his bedroom, he fumbled about at his dresser and closet, then came to me with a clean shirt and some shorts.

“We should do laundry again for you before you go.”

I could only nod. My throat closed up every time he referenced me leaving.

But I still had this one night to bask in his presence.

I changed in the bathroom, then left my clothes on top of the washer for tomorrow.

Once I was all snuggled in bed, Grant began to talk.

“If you had stayed a little longer, there was so much more I wanted to show you like the river further into the woods where there’s a beaver dam. Or how to make maple sugar candy in the snow. And all that snow out by the porch just begs to be made into a snowman.”

The corners of my eyes began to sting. I kept my breaths shallow so my emotions didn’t show.

Grant continued to talk about how the season affected the land, how the summers were short but the days so long. He saw the northern lights almost every night in winter. And when he felt like having a treat, he’d have a huge steak at the only steakhouse in Pawtree which also had amazing beer-battered fries and onion rings.

Maybe I could try for a job there. Then I’d get to see Grant at least once in a while.

I lay back in the warmth, my mind swirling to the sound of his voice, and made a wish that this night could last forever, me next to him, my body soaking him up, the rest of the world blowing right by us until it was just us and Velvet in a cabin floating far away into the stars.

The next morning, I woke as if no time had passed.

Grant was gone from the bed.

I put on the sweats he’d loaned me when I’d first arrived. They were folded and clean at the edge of the bed. When I went out into the kitchen, breakfast was ready.

“The snowplow was out this morning,” Grant commented.

No sadder words were ever spoken.

“Good thing,” Grant continued. “I need more eggs and bread and milk. And some other things. Now we just need to clear the driveway. The plow did the part down below the concrete edge, bless him. The driver’s name is Dan. Nice guy.”

When we went outside, the air was crisp, the world still a frozen wonderland. Velvet came with us, bounding through the deep drifts.

We started with our shovels at the top of the driveway by the garage door. Only minutes into it, I realized what hard work it was. I hoped we wouldn’t get it all done by today. I felt like I was betraying both Grant and the spell with my thought, but I deliberately slowed down, leaning against the shovel more often than digging. I felt grumpy and bad. I wanted to run away again like I had when I was a kid. But there was no Sno waiting for me at home with a soft hug and warm cookies.

I gave a few more half-hearted shoves with the shovel, then set it aside.

Grant looked up. “What’s wrong?”

“I’m taking a little break. I’m going to sit on the porch with Velvet.”

Grant said nothing but kept shoveling.

I was being unfair, and I knew it, watching my rescuer do all the hard work to get me to town like I’d asked. But I didn’t want to go to town. Town was just another chore, a sense of duty, nothing else.

“Want to know a secret, Velvet?”

She perked up her ears and looked at me with total trust.

I petted her head and said, “I don’t want to go. I love it here. But I have things to do and I have to leave.”

She rested her chin on my thigh. I almost broke down right then, but I had to be strong. I had to break this spell. I couldn’t become an ugly figurine forever. My father had made an awful spell, more like a curse, but just because it was awful and unfair and wrong didn’t mean I could do anything about it.

I watched Grant, in his super alpha efficiency, finish shoveling the drive by himself. He was so strong and powerful. Damn him. Now there was nothing to keep us from town.