Page 57 of Nacho Boyfriend

“It doesn’t—”

“Nope. You’re going to have to take off the mask. It’s not working.”

I hear a dramatic sigh on the other end of the line and a moment later, Churro returns to his normal voice.

“Duuuude. It’s not a mask.”

“Much better. Is this Churro?”

“No names over the phone, bro.”

Right. I’m ninety-nine percent sure Churro is not his real name, so what does it matter? Whatever.

“Anyway, as I was saying, I don’t know where Pancho went.”

I hear Churro taking a bite of something and chewing for a long moment. A train goes by in the background. He’s crunching and crunching like he straight up forgot he’s on the phone.

Finally, he says, “Did you know you can use Cheetos to start fires? They’re basically just pure hydrocarbons.”

“I wasn’t aware of that, no.”

He crunches into my ear again. “Look, bromigo. Just because I like you, I’ll tell you something. The other guys in the Posse, they’re not so chill. They don’t like waiting. The clock is ticking, bro. Tick tock.”

He takes another crunchy bite and then the line goes silent. That dirtbag hung up on me. I’d throw my phone across the room if it wasn’t so expensive.

Seriously, are all the psychos out today? Is it some kind of full moon druid holiday?

I’ll have to talk to my dad. He needs to know Pancho Two is back, and I’ll have to tell him the Posse is back, too. I’d hoped I wouldn’t have to drag him into this.

My heart pounds in my chest. I need to let off some steam before I rip someone’s head off. If only Aaron were still here—his head would roll quite nicely. Just the look on his face, and the way it amused Olive, was priceless. I feel like dragging him back into the restaurant just to taunt him some more. But I suppose there’s only so many insults one can throw at a man before it gets old. Best to let it go. Unless…

There is one thing. As long as Olive wants to go along with it, I would get massive pleasure from helping Olive steal back her mezuzah.