Page 23 of My Ruthless Alpha (Alpha Outlaws Club #5)

I had no way of knowing what was up or down…where I was or what was happening.

At first, everything was dark. Then, every jostle of my body slowly started to register little by little until I could feel skin against me, along with solid muscle.

The body was warm and almost soothing, and in my hazy state, I couldn’t help but feel drawn to it like a plant seeking the sun. Through my confusion, I just wanted something to cling to—something that would anchor me and feel more reassuring.

Despite feeling like I was moving, I couldn’t see anything around me. I could only feel that mysterious warmth and the involuntary sway of my limbs, more akin to a rag doll than anything else.

As I regained little pieces of consciousness, it felt like I was opening my eyes despite seeing only darkness. Then, faint blurs moved in and out of my vision.

I heard the rustle of leaves and the shuffle of something disturbing nearby grass, but none of it came fully into view just yet.

That unsure state made me feel like I was merely floating. Like I was no longer in my body, no longer navigating as I should be. As much as I wanted it to feel like a good experience, it wasn’t.

I didn’t feel in control. While my mind was filtering in more awareness, it seemed like my body wasn’t catching up as quickly, and in a way, I felt trapped in my own body. Like a prisoner who couldn’t fully wake up.

My heart should’ve been racing, yet it only seemed to flutter—far too weak to beat like it normally did. It felt almost slow and shallow like my life was barely hanging on by a thread.

As my body continued to move somehow, going in and out of fleeting moments of consciousness, I felt so disconnected and uncomfortable. Between that swaying, the sound of external movement, and the haze in my head, I just wanted to call out. To scream and get someone to help me.

But I didn’t know what I needed help from. I just wanted to feel normal, not like I was stuck in some sluggish, catatonic state.

The dark haze covering my eyes seemed to shift slightly after a while, letting me see fragments of skin and muscle. I could feel the soft material of a shirt against my cheek, along with what seemed like arms under my legs and around my back.

I was being carried. That made the most sense, given how it felt like I was swaying.

As more awareness crept in, I could make out the dark fabric of the shirt and the shifting of muscle beneath the material.

Given the warmth and strength of the individual and how I seemed to melt into them thoughtlessly, the first image that entered my mind was Beau’s face.

He probably found me somewhere and was taking me home…that had to be it.

I didn’t know how I ended up away from him or why, but in that moment, my thoughts only surrounded him. It put me at ease knowing he was carrying me—that I was safe.

Almost feeling like I was smiling, I shifted my head slightly and looked up through my lashes. Everything still seemed blurry, but I could see more shapes and colors at the very least.

The fragments of him came into view, but where I expected to see that dark hair and brown eyes I admired so much, I saw something completely different.

Instead, light brown hair was swept back, leaving green eyes unobstructed. The person’s face looked a bit older, catching me by surprise. And the aura…that menacing aura couldn’t be mistaken for anyone else.

The more I was able to focus despite the exhaustion pulling me down, the more that familiar fear coursed through me.

It wasn’t Beau at all. It was Colton.

That anxiety spiked within me even if I couldn’t move. Everything hit me in a wave, and those images made my stomach clench with every negative feeling that hit me at once.

Him breaking into the house, fighting Miles, Hunter grabbing me, and Colton putting that capsule in my mouth…the mountain ash.

It was the reason I couldn’t move.

My consciousness was returning more and more, but the effects were still keeping me from functioning as I was meant to. As intended, I couldn’t feel my healing abilities kicking in, as the powered mountain ash was stalling it in a sense, which caused even more panic to wash through me.

Of course, everything was unraveling in my mind, but Colton and Hunter didn’t notice. They were too focused on moving forward, unaware of my internal freak-out.

Even if I couldn’t do anything about him carrying me and likely heading back to his grounds, every part of me was screaming to be put down. For it to be Beau carrying me instead.

It felt so wrong being in his arms. His very life source felt wrong to me, almost like we were two repelling forces not meant to come together.

He was the opposite of Beau in nearly every way, and something about that made my body reject him.

Colton wasn’t meant to be my mate, regardless of what he wanted, and even if he somehow managed to keep me away from Beau, I knew my wolf would never accept him. It was a lost cause, but I had the feeling he didn’t care.

Regardless of any opposition or resistance, Colton always did what he wanted. He took and took and always expected to be given whatever he desired.

But I wouldn’t.

Even if I could do nothing physically, I wouldn’t let my mind give in to him. I couldn’t.

I just wanted Beau. I wanted Margo. I wanted to be back home surrounded by the people who cared about me. The friends and family I managed to find in everyone around me. Thanks to Beau, my horizons had been expanded, and it felt like I had a place where I belonged.

I just needed to get back there. How I might accomplish that didn’t matter. I just needed to see it through.

Through the fog in my mind, I registered as Colton stopped suddenly, and the quiet shuffle of Hunter’s feet suggested he did too. They paused before letting go of low growls. The sound reverberated through Colton’s chest and into me.

“Damn it…” Hunter muttered, expression tight with irritation from what I could see. “…they got the others…”

Another snarled sound left Colton as he spoke. “Useless…all of them.”

Everything shifted around me in a blur again, and the distant sound of howling reached me, causing my heart to stir and the invisible bond between us to pull tighter: Beau and the others. There was no doubting it.

“Shit…they’re coming.”

“Shift already!”

With a low growl and a faint crack of bones adjusting, Hunter transformed into a mass of grey fur, his body tense with aggression. He growled and stood his ground, facing the opposite direction.

But even as Colton picked up the pace and kept moving with a determined expression on his face, the other wolves were too fast.

Just barely able to see around his bicep, I watched the blurry sight of a wolf charging at Hunter, who bared his teeth in both anger and fear. But another wolf was on him in a second, snapping and snarling. One of them yelped as they moved in a pile of fur and limbs, and I could only hope Hunter was facing the short end of that deal.

Through my daze, I felt Colton’s movements becoming more frantic, and what had been a mostly smooth ride for me was less so. In that sensitive state, every jostle of my body sent a wave of discomfort through me.

Not long after, he stopped again, and his grip on me tightened.

He cursed again, and before I knew it, I could feel the hard ground beneath me and the rough bark digging into my back. Nestled in the grass, I looked through the fogginess that still clung to the edges of my mind and refused to let go.

Ahead of me, Colton stood while surrounded by shifted wolves. From what I could pull in of their scents, they were Beau’s friends, and even his brothers were there. Even if I could hardly muster the strength to keep my eyes open, the sight of them evoked even more hope in me, and I was more than ready for the situation to be done with.

As the wolves closed in, Colton had no choice but to face Beau as he approached him, fur as black as night while he stalked forward with his teeth bared. His unbridled anger surrounded him, tightening his muzzle while he snarled at the alpha opposite.

Despite having the upper hand at that moment, Beau stopped some distance from Colton, sizing him up without attacking. Silently, it seemed like a warning. The final question is, are you sure you want to do this?

After glancing around, well aware that he had to do something, Colton growled to himself as his fists clenched at his sides, making his muscles clench.

“All of this for a damn woman...can’t take it back now, I guess,” he muttered, allowing his features to slowly change as his teeth and nails elongated first. “You’ll have your fight then.”

As the shift took over completely, his body morphed and popped as a thick fur pelt ripped up his spine and covered his limbs entirely until he was down on all fours and growling at Beau. He walked in a restless circle as the two of them acknowledged the pending fight, sizing each other up again.

My heart clenched, knowing there was no way to escape the conflict. After everything, it came down to that moment, and regardless of what I thought, it had to happen.

To stop Colton once and for all, Beau had to defeat him.

Ever so slowly, while they growled and snarled at each other, I felt as if the fog started to slowly ebb enough for me to be able to move my hands and fingers. Still, the mountain ash in my system felt like sludge moving through my veins, holding me down for the time being.

To my left, I felt a puff of air against my shoulder, followed by a quiet whine.

Glancing over, I found Miles standing over me as he took in my scent. His rich brown fur tousled faintly in the breeze, and his dark eyes seemed to convey more than he could possibly express through words.

His remorseful and apologetic demeanor was palpable, but I didn’t have even a drop of anger toward him. I knew he had done his best to try to stop Colton before; it didn’t matter that he lost the fight. They were all there for me, and that was what mattered the most.

He gave another worried sniff at me, likely detecting the mountain ash in my system.

Forcing out a breath, I swallowed hard and went to test my voice as it came out cracked, “I’ll be fine…”

Understanding me despite my weakness, Miles released another puff of air from his nose, and he stayed by my side, watching over me as the fight began.

I was grateful for the comfort of knowing I was being protected while my body healed.

It was tempting to want to shift and potentially help Beau through the fight, but I knew changing forms would put me at a greater risk. With the remaining mountain ash in my system, interrupting my body’s attempt to filter it out of my bloodstream by forcing it to undergo the strenuous shift could exacerbate the side effects. I could go into shock and stop the healing altogether, which could ultimately be deadly.

I had to sit there and wait, watching as both wolves charged at each other, snapping their jaws and lunging their bodies forward.

My heart clenched while I watched, aware of how brutal Colton could be.

I was afraid for Beau, but at the same time, I had faith in him. He was my mate and the father of my child, and I knew he wouldn’t give either of us up without putting in the fight of his life.