Page 64 of My Roommate Is a Vampire

Was Frederick jealous of a fictional librarian from an episode that aired almost twenty-five years ago? Was that what was happening here?

Impossible.

Stupidly, my heart sped up a few beats at the idea of it all the same.

“What’s wrong with being human, Frederick?”

He muttered something under his breath I couldn’t make out but didn’t otherwise acknowledge he’d heard me.

“To answer your earlier question,” Frederick said eventually, sidestepping the issue of hot librarians, “I have seen this show. Reginald recommended it to me.”

“Really?” That surprised me.

“Yes. Although the version we watched at his home had frequent interruptions from companies wanting to sell things.Commercials.” He shook his head. “Annoying.”

I guess Reginald didn’t spring for commercial-free streaming platforms. “They usually are,” I agreed.

“I couldn’t even tell what I was meant to buy half the time,” he complained. “Though I did enjoy singing along to some of them. The music was often quite good.”

The idea of buttoned-up Frederick singing along to a car insurance ad—or, god, an ad for one of those sexual enhancement meds—was so ridiculous I nearly burst out laughing.

“What... what did you think of the show itself?” I asked, trying to recover.

If Frederick noticed I was on the verge of dissolving into giggles he showed no sign of it. “It’s a bit silly,” he said, thoughtfully. “Though I enjoyed what I saw.”

“How accurate would you say it is?” I was probably crossing a line, but I couldn’t help myself. I’d been wondering this ever since learning he was a vampire.

He hesitated, pondering the question. “The show’s writers got a few things wrong about my kind. For example, I have no penchant for leather jackets, and I don’t burn to ash when exposed to sunlight. Additionally, my face doesn’t change in a cartoonish way before I feed. But they also managed to get a number of details correct.” He paused, then added, “Which is surprising. As far as I know no one on the writing team was a vampire.”

My eyes widened. I hadn’t expected this much honesty when I’d asked the question. Was this my chance to finally get more information about him?

“What did they get right?” I prompted, unable to hide my eagerness.

“I, like Angel, do enjoy a good brooding stare.”

“I’ve noticed that.”

“I’d imagine it would be hard to miss,” he conceded, his eyes twinkling.

“Anything else?”

He considered that. “I require express permission before entering someone’s home. Some vampire legends are nonsense and others are legitimate, and I have to say the show handles that detail quite well. Also, I cannot sweat, I never blush, and my heart hasn’t beat since I turned.” He glanced at me from the corner of his eye. “You likely noticed I had no heartbeat when we... when you touched my shirt at the department store.”

He might not be able to blush anymore, but at the reminder of that moment we shared outside the dressing room I was blushing more than enough for both of us.

“Oh,” I mumbled. “Yes. I... I noticed.”

He nodded, his eyes inscrutable as he held my gaze. “If you ever find yourself lacking in diversion you could do worse thanBuffy the Vampire Slayer. Especially if you wanted to know more about me.” A pause. “Not that you would necessarily want to know more about me, of course. I am... merely stating a hypothetical.”

“I will,” I said, the room feeling suddenly a bit too warm. “I mean... I do want to know more about you.”

On screen, Buffy’s mom was lecturing her about staying out all night again, but I wasn’t paying attention to the show anymore.

I didn’t remember falling asleep on the couch beside him.

One minute Spike and the other monsters from Sunnydale were getting up to their usual antics. I’d been laughing; Frederick had been staring intently at the screen, as if he were watching an important university lecture and didn’t want to miss a word.

The next minute I was blinking up at the side of Frederick’s face from where my head rested on his shoulder.