Page 106 of My Roommate Is a Vampire

“But... Naperville? There are vampire dungeons inNaperville?” I thought back to the cookie-cutter suburb I’d visitedonce back in college when my roommate invited me home for Thanksgiving. How could a place like that have avampire dungeon?

“You’d be surprised how many unassuming suburbs have vampire dungeons,” Reginald explained. “Here in Chicago, the Jamesons must have had to make do with the limited options at their disposal. Though honestly, hiding him out there is kind of perfect.” He gave me a sardonic smile. “Nobody expects a vampire dungeon in Naperville.”

He had a point there.

“You know,” he added, shooting a pointed look over his shoulder. “We should probably keep our voices down. The Jamesons have ears everywhere.”

My skin prickled. “Really?” I asked, sotto voce.

He shrugged. “Probably not, but I’ve always wanted to say something like that. Either way, I don’t think it’s a good idea if we’re overheard.”

He had a point there, too. Nothing good would come of Gossamer’s very human clientele overhearing this conversation.

“So that picture I saw on Instagram...” I trailed off, fidgeting with the rim of myWe Are Pulchritudinousas I remembered the image of Frederick being helped into the back seat of a stretch limo by a gorgeous Esmeralda.“You’re saying that he didn’t go into that limo willingly.”

“He couldn’t have.” Reginald’s expression turned even more serious. “That man is head over fangs for you. The past few weeks have been a nightmare for me, personally, with how often I’ve had to listen to that goofball wax poetic about your literally everything. It’s been embarrassing for both of us.” He shook his head. “I have not seen the picture you are talking about, but hewould never have willingly gone anywhere with Esmeralda. Especially now that he has you.”

My heart soared at the confirmation that Frederick had feelings for me, even as my stomach plummeted at the thought of him being in danger.

“So what do we do?”

“We have to get him out of there. If we don’t...” Reginald shook his head and looked over his shoulder again. “He’ll be shipped back to New York and married to a woman he doesn’t love before next week.”

“Can theydothat?” I asked, horrified. “Would a wedding against someone’s will even be legal?”

He snorted. “We don’t do things the way humans do them, Cassandra.”

That had to be the understatement of the century. My fight-or-flight instincts were kicking in, the urge to go out to Naperville right that second and demand they let Frederick go nearly overpowering me. But I still had enough common sense to know that barging into a house full of angry vampires would be a seriously terrible idea.

And then, all at once, the beginnings of a plan came to me.

“I have one idea on what we could do to get him out,” I said. “You may not like it.”

Reginald stared at me. “That sounds ominous.”

“It might be,” I conceded. “Or it might just be legitimately ridiculous.”

“Let’s hear it.”

I spun my mug of coffee around and around, just for something to do with my hands. Some of its contents sloshed onto the table, but I was too keyed up to care about that. I’d clean it up later so whoever was in charge of closing wouldn’t have to.

“How familiar is vampire society with TikTok?”

From: Cassie Greenberg [[email protected]]

To: Edwina D. Fitzwilliam [[email protected]]

Subject: My terms

Dear Mrs. Fitzwilliam,

I will not beat around the bush with you. You have kidnapped someone who means a lot to me. Specifically: your son. I insist you and the Jamesons release him immediately from the Naperville Dungeon. If you do NOT let him go within twenty-four hours, I will be forced to go on TikTok and tell the entire world that vampires are real!!

I look forward to your immediate response.

Cassie Greenberg

I reread my email to Frederick’s mother, trying to work up the nerve to hitsend.