Page 9 of My Pucking Mates (Pucking Werewolves #4)

Present

“W hen I found him…I made sure he could never come back to hurt you or Mama…”

The words seep into my skin, running straight for my heart.

There shouldn’t be any pain for that monster.

He was no father to Eris and me. He was a horrible mate to our mother.

So why does my soul want to care? Why do I give a flying-fuck what happened to him?

I knew he hated me, and still, there is an inkling of something inside of me that always wondered if he would come back for us.

If he’d change his ways and decide to love us.

Mama and I tried so hard to make him happy, happy enough that he would be like other mates who loved and cared for their family.

“Say something,” Eris very quietly pleads.

I’m not usually at a loss for words, but I find myself searching the recesses of my brain trying to find the right thing to say.

I’m not sure how I feel. Do I congratulate him for slaying the evil villain of our childhood?

Do I thank him for protecting me and Mama?

Can I just nod? I do just that…I just nod.

“Fuck, Dolos. He was a monster. He didn’t deserve you or Mama.

He was a fucking ass to both of you. I couldn’t let him continue to hurt you.

Even though he left, that wouldn’t keep him from popping back in long enough to be an ass and leave…

It wasn’t worth the risk.” His tone is dejected and wary… but he’s absolutely correct.

If I were in his position, I would likely have done the same thing. Maybe not at twelve years old, but eventually…

“You did the right thing,” is initially all I can manage while my brain and heart finally come to an agreement as they remember that Eris has always been built different under the lackadaisical skin he wore. I always knew; I just tucked it away for as long as he had.

“Does Mama know?” is the next thing that comes to mind.

He sadly shakes his head; not for what he did but for our sweet mother. “No, and I don’t want her to. She moved on long ago, and I’d like to keep it that way.”

Nodding to myself, I process the new information. While this is big news…it can’t be the only thing that’s been bothering him.

Our time in the King’s Army was spent doing all levels of vicious things to get information and keep the kingdoms safe.

The man that left us is not the only person to die by his hands.

“What else is bothering you, dear brother?” I ask, pulling my charm back into place and relieving the previous shock of its duties.

Simultaneously, one of his eyebrows furrows, while the other raises. “That’s all you have to say about what I just told you?”

I shake my head at him and offer him a sad smile. He kept this from me for centuries, worried about how I would react. “If I would have been as strong as you were at that age, I would have done the same thing,” I tell him in all honesty.

I wish I would have been as strong as him in our youth.

Maybe if I had been, Pop would have stayed for Mama.

I don’t care about him leaving Eris and me, but Mama deserved to be cherished.

I hate that now that we’re grown and gone, she lives alone.

Granted, we moved her out of our little home in the middle of nowhere.

We got her a new home on the outskirts of a bustling little village in the kingdom, closer to the castle, where she would be safe.

The emotion pouring off my brother is a triad of confusion, relief, and a miniscule amount of regret; surely not at what he’d done, but at not communicating this with me sooner.

“But what else is bothering you?” I press.

He continues scrubbing his hands over his face, his eyes full of a rare show of vulnerability. “What if I’m not a good mate?”

I’m unable to prevent my physical reaction to his words, jerking back in surprise where I sit in front of him. “Why the fuck would you think that?”

He’s visibly searching his brain for the words to describe what he’s feeling. “So many men we know had shit fathers. Shit fathers that were shit mates. What if I’m one of them? What if I’m one of the shit mates and fathers?”

Shaking my head in exasperation at the fact that he could ever think that, I say, “Eris…you’re not. You’re already so far from them.” I try to console him, but it only seems to aggrevate him further.

“You don’t know that! What about anything I’ve ever done in my fucking life says I would be anything more than a good fuck?” he roars.

I shouldn’t laugh, I really shouldn’t, but I can’t help myself…and then I can’t stop. By the time I get myself together, his eyes are full of fury and hurt.

“I’m so glad I can still amuse you,” he rumbles, standing and walking to stare out his window, where he can see the wind move the snowy trees in the December sun.

Standing but not following him to the window, I elaborate, “Yeah, well, when you say dumb shit, there’s a good chance I’m going to laugh at you.

All those awful mates were also awful men.

They didn’t find their mate and magically turn into terrible creatures.

Avram was always power hungry, so much that as a young man he went so far as to obtain an unlawful prophecy that we’re now dealing with.

Khaos’ father came from a long line of lower-level royal douchery, from what I’ve heard.

As for our father, Mama never had a nice family story to tell us about him.

He never looked at her the way you just looked at Runa. ”

I pause to take a deep breath, “Not to mention, a man that was destined to be a shit mate would never have slain his own father to protect his mother and brother from an asshole. A man destined to be a shit mate would never have spent the next four years caring for his mother and brother as the man of the house when he was in fact the same age as his brother. A man who was destined to be a shit mate would not be worried about being a shit mate….and that’s just the beginning of the list of reasons why you don’t have to worry.

I can continue if you like,” I give him my orneriest smirk, but also hope he can see the love I have for him in my eyes, and feel it in our bond.