Page 5

Chapter Five

Aswan

I told Hannah I’d show up early for work on Monday morning, but that didn’t explain why I was parked outside her house at six in the morning. Too early? I spent some time ordering a bunch of stuff I thought I might need—car seats, a XXXL baby carrier, etc.—and then pacing a little.

I was just… excited .

Excited to start my new job? Well, yeah, okay. But more than that: I was excited to spend the day with the Woods family.

I’ll admit that on some level, I was thinking of them as mine already.

Little Joshua had stolen my heart with his enthusiasm and drool. Tova was sweet and open-minded and loved with all of her heart. And Ben? On a few levels, Ben reminded me of myself , especially in the years after we crossed into the human world; confused, angry, and lost.

Remembering how he’d helped me with making the pizza on Saturday, and how he’d asked good questions, I pulled out my phone and ordered him Cooking For Teens: How To Make Easy Food That Doesn’t Suck And Will Make Your Parents Respect Your Mad Skillz.

I mean, no idea what that meant, but putting a Z in anything makes it cooler, right? Maybe Ben would enjoy cooking with me, and we could tear down some more of those strange gender norm ideas he had.

What else…?

Oh yeah, the stroller.

Turned out, no one made strollers for orcs to push. Even the ones for “tall fathers” would still have me hunched over. Friday’s experience told me unless I wanted to carry Joshua strapped to me at every moment, I was going to need a stroller solution. I found the largest one online, and snapped a screenshot to send to Tarkhan.

Hey, are you awake?

I am now. Where are you?

At work. Look at this stroller. Could you design something to extend the handle? Make it taller so I don’t have to hunch over to push it?

Tarkan was the handiest of us. When we left Bramblewood Bluff, not only did he leave behind a bevy of heartbroken ladies, but also his extensive workshop. When he didn’t answer right away, I knew he was contemplating the problem.

Finally he responded.

Yeah, I think so, even with the tools I have on hand. Can I do the mods at your place? The apartment is pretty small.

I hurried to type out my response.

No problem. I’ll get clearance. We’ll have to wait until it’s delivered, but that gives you a few days to get the materials together.

Sounds good. Send me the website so I can pull the specs. I’ll stroll down to the hardware store today and see what they have in stock. If I have to buy a miter saw, can I stash it in your car?

I found myself chuckling. Leave it to Tarkhan to use this as an excuse to a) buy himself new goodies and b) try to hide it from Abydos. My twin was the only one who didn’t seem affected by Tarkhan’s charm… and never had been.

Damn, you really need to find your own space with a workshop, huh ?

I’m working on it! Meeting with the realtor next week.

Which would leave Abydos all alone in the apartment when he visited, assuming this position as a live-in nanny turned permanent. He’d be happier alone, anyhow.

It took a moment to realize the frantic scrambling in my chest was my Kteer expressing its approval of the plan and had to shake my head ruefully. This primal part of me was concerned with keeping me alive and happy, and often expressed interest in things that couldn’t happen in the modern world.

Like the urge to rip out another male’s throat if he complained about the dryness of his well-done steak. Or the need to scoop up a pretty female and carry her back to my home, despite knowing nothing about her or her interest in me. Such things might have been useful in our distant evolutionary past, but even the world I grew up in was more civilized than that…and we cooked over fires, for fuck’s sake.

But yeah.

The idea of living permanently with the Woods family not only made my Kteer happy, but me happy as well.

I wanted that. I wanted to be the one Hannah could rely on. I wanted to be the one the kids could turn to when they needed something. I wanted to make their lives better however I could…

By eight thirty, I was calmer and more certain of my ability to tackle this position, but my heart was still pounding as I knocked on the door .

And as soon as Hannah opened it? As soon as I saw the way she smiled in welcome, even while attempting to clasp a necklace around her throat?

Well, let’s just say that everything was going to be alright. I exhaled, my shoulders relaxing.

“Good morning. How can I help?”

Chewing on her lip, she tipped to one side, struggling with the necklace. Was that an attempt to get her hair—thick and luscious and shiny, what product did she use to make it look so touchable?—out of the way? Or was this a dance I was unfamiliar with?

“I think we’re— darn! Sorry, this keeps slipping. I think we’re good.” She cut her eyes toward the kitchen as she tipped even farther to one side. “Nikki has already picked up Tova to take her to the school to keep Emmy occupied. Joshy is working on his cereal and bananas—I’m sorry to say that he’ll make a mess, but I can clean it when I get home?—”

“I am perfectly capable of cleaning the floor, Hannah,” I interrupted gently. “I’m here to be useful.” Since she was staring at me, I took a step closer. “May I help you? You appear to be stuck on something.”

Clucking her tongue, she turned around, and I was met with a strange sight: the back of her neck. Strange in the way it affected me. I told myself it was the way she managed to hold her hair out of the way and fiddle with the necklace clasp that held my attention…not how delicious her skin looked, with the little hairs at the base of her neck calling out for me to test their softness .

“I don’t know if you’ll be able to manage,” she said over her shoulder, offering me the two ends of the necklace. “I can go get a different one…”

And miss this opportunity?

When I took the ends of the necklace from her, a spike of warmth flashed up my arm. I stepped closer, bending over her head and neck, inhaling her sweet scent as I used the tips of my claws to pull back the clasp and slide the other end inside…

In the silence, the click of the metal was unnaturally loud, as was my heartbeat.

I bent closer, struggling to keep from burying my nose in her hair and licking her neck. “All done,” I rasped, digging my claws into my palms to try to control this need .

It’s just your Kteer . It’s just a response to Hannah needing help .

Right.

Except…

When she shot forward and turned back to me, her smile was too brittle, too fake. How could I tell that already? She looked uncomfortable, not with me…but with herself.

And there was that sweet scent of her arousal again.

I had much to think on.

And I was still thinking on it, two hours later, as I explained to Joshua how to use the broom. He struggled with the size, of course, and frankly made more of a mess than if I had just swept the damn cereal…but I thought it important for him to learn. He was almost three, after all, an d maybe if he knew he’d be the one to clean the floor, he’d throw less of his food down there.

“Excellent, Joshua. Now tip it into the trash can like… this .” I guided his small hands in holding the dustpan. “Good job.”

“Uh-oh Doshy!” He grinned toothily up at me, and my heart clenched. Gods below, he was adorable, wasn’t he?

“ Good job , Joshy,” I repeated, then braced my hands on my knees to push myself out of the crouch. But the boy surprised me by, without warning, dropping the dustpan and broom into the garbage and throwing himself at me.

I had no choice but to catch him, which put me off-balance, and I rolled backwards onto my ass, then my back.

The toddler, clutched to my chest, thought this was the most amazing thing in the world, and chortled uproariously.

Well, really, was there anything I could do except tickle his soft little sides and feel his joy as he kicked and squealed?

That’s why I was lying flat on my back, spread eagle on the kitchen tile, when Ben—looking sleep-tousled and grumpy—stepped into the kitchen, scratching his hair. “You two are loud,” he groused. “Why is the broom in the trashcan?”

I grinned up at him. “We had a bit of an accident.”

“Uh-oh, Doshy! Doshy boom and cwean!”

“I see you used the broom,” Ben grumbled, bending to pull the dustpan from the garbage. “Good work. What’s for breakfast? ”

Trying to decide if the boy was angry or just always like this in the morning, I clutched his brother to my shoulder and rolled to my feet. “Well, considering we’re only two hours from lunch, I would say: Whatever you can catch and kill.”

Ben swung on me, eyes wide. “ What ?”

I shrugged, and since Joshua was draped over my shoulder, that sent him into peals of laughter. “I just mean, you slept in past breakfast, so if I had made something, you missed it. Why not get a snack, then you can join us for lunch. We could do pizza again.”

“No, I mean…” He shook his head in disbelief. “ Whatever you can catch and kill ? I’m not eating a squirrel!”

I pretended to eye him speculatively. “Do you honestly think you could catch and kill a squirrel?”

“Skerl!” hooted Joshua happily. “Skerls eat nuts!”

“That’s right,” I told him, patting his bottom distractedly. “Squirrels eat nuts. I suppose your brother could use nuts to bait a trap to?—”

“ I’m not catching and killing a squirrel !” blurted Ben frantically. Then he took a deep breath and cocked his head to one side, considering me. “Do you know how to catch and kill squirrels? Is that what orcs eat for breakfast?”

Ah.

Um, I might have done Orc-Human Cultural Understanding a disservice here.

Shifting Joshua up around the back of my neck, so he could pull on my hair, I considered how to respond. “ Well…not anymore. I eat normal food just like you—I told you I owned a restaurant?”

“Skerl yummy!” hollered the toddler, pounding on my head until I winced.

“Totally normal foods. Burgers, fries, pizzas, steaks, seafood. But…” I met Ben’s eyes and shrugged, sending Joshua laughing again. “When I was younger, before I came to your world, I did used to have to catch and kill animals if I wanted to eat meat.”

Ben’s eyes had gone even wider, and it looked like sleep was a long way from his mind. “Seriously? You like…skinned them and everything?”

“Not squirrels, but…yeah.”

“ Cool .” Before I could register my surprise at such a response, Ben hurried to ask, “Can you teach me?”

I blinked. “You want to know how to catch and kill squirrels? I doubt that’s what your mother had in mind for summer enrichment …”

“Come on , dude!” Ben climbed into the bar stool at the counter, looking far more animated than earlier. “Just tell me about it. Setting traps, how to use a knife. I promise I won’t kill any squirrels.”

“Skerls yummy !” hollered his little brother, and I had to grin ruefully.

Well, I had wanted to bond with the children, hadn’t I?

As Joshua played, Ben and I talked about my life in the orc’s mountains, and how it differed from Colorado, where we’d moved to. Using online videos, I told him about the different animals, and how we caught and butchered them. I was surprised how interested he was, but I supposed it was different than what his friends got up to.

We made sandwiches for lunch, then he taught me—or tried to teach me—how to play some racing video game on the television while Joshua napped. Afterward, we strapped the toddler to my chest and walked to the market, where I let Ben pick out dinner ingredients.

Burgers, thankfully, although Joshua hadn’t let go of the idea of squirrels tasting yummy.

I wasn’t sure if this counted as a successful first day on the job or not. So when we got home, I said to the two boys, “Hey, let’s go pick up your rooms. You can give me a tour.”

After all, I still didn’t know where I was supposed to be sleeping.

Ben was surprisingly enthusiastic about showing off his room to a virtual stranger. Once I saw all his posters from the national parks, I had a little more insight into his earlier questions, and I made a mental note to teach him more about woodlore or campfire cooking. Maybe we could even do a campout in the backyard?

He seemed excited about the suggestion, and I was able to get him to make his bed without complaint. He showed me his sister’s room—which was clearly decorated in the All The Pink In The Entire World And Then Also A Bit More Pink theme—but we didn’t go inside. Joshua’s room was last and surprisingly, the least messy.

There was his little bed, obviously converted from the crib, and a long dresser with a changing pad on top. And under the window…a single bed .

I frowned, looking around.

Was this what Hannah meant when she said she had an extra room? Was this the guest room? There were more toddler toys, and a small bookshelf full of kids’ books, but also an end table with a lamp and…

And a paperback with a half-naked male on the cover.

Frowning now, I bent over the bed and inhaled.

This wasn’t a guest bed.

Despite the neat covers and pillows, this was where Hannah slept.

And not just occasionally; she’d slept here last night. I would recognize her scent anywhere.

I glanced over at the toddler bed. She slept in Joshua’s room? Why? Was she that worried about him? Or did she just not sleep in the larger master bedroom?

And where did she expect me to sleep?

I kept my questions to myself until after dinner—it was delicious, of course, and I spent it listening to Ben and Tova wax enthusiastic about their respective days, which felt good—and bathtime. As the big kids bathed upstairs, I offered to wash Joshua in the kitchen sink, and the look Hannah gave me made me feel like a hero.

She allowed me to participate in the bedtime routine, even if it was just as an observer. I noted the negotiation tactics she took with Joshua, and her firmness with Tova, and how she sat with her daughter and let the girl talk, even though I could tell Hannah wasn’t really listening .

The bedtime routines of three very different children took a long while, and I was impressed that, despite her obvious exhaustion, Hannah made time for each of them.

How could I help? I watched and pondered and took mental notes.

Because I wanted to participate. Not just to make her life easier, but because I wanted to participate . I wanted to be the one Tova prattled on at. I wanted to be the one Joshua snuggled with as I read Billy Bear Goes Swimming for the fourth time. I wanted to see Ben’s shy excitement and do what I could to encourage that.

And I wanted to make Hannah smile at me like a hero again.

“Whew,” she breathed as she closed Ben’s door behind her. Seeing me in the hallway, my arms crossed, leaning against the wall, she smiled. “We haven’t scared you off yet?”

“Far from it.” I straightened and began to move toward her. To my surprise, she met me halfway. “I had fun today, Hannah, and I’m looking forward to tomorrow. I’m glad…” Unbidden, my arms unfolded, one hand raising, the back of my claw going to her temple. “I’m glad you let me help,” I murmured, pushing a strand of hair off her brow as my excuse to touch her.

She’d stilled, and again, I caught a whiff of that sweetness.

There was no denying it; Hannah was aroused. Not completely, but there was something that spiked her interest.

And while my Kteer howled in glee at that, I forced my hand back by my side and reminded myself of the truth: Until Hannah expressed interest, I couldn’t take her body’s responses as permission or approval.

“I…” Her voice caught, and she looked away. “I’m glad. To have you here, I mean. And that you’re enjoying your time with us.”

More than enjoying . I wanted to tell her, but I didn’t. I didn’t want to scare her. I didn’t want to do anything to jeopardize my position here in her life, with her family.

“Well!” she suddenly announced, too brightly, her stretch too big to be real. “I’m off to bed. Let me show you where you’ll be sleeping.”

I followed her…to the master bedroom.

“The sheets are fresh, but of course you’re welcome to do anything you need to make the bed more comfortable. That dresser is empty”—she pointed to one of the two large pieces of furniture— “So you can fill it with whatever. Most of my stuff is out of that one, but I still store some clothes in the closet. I promise not to come in without permission, although it’ll likely take me a few days to completely clear out the bathroom?—”

“Hannah,” I interrupted, capturing her gesturing hand in mine. “This is your room. I’m not sleeping here.”

“Don’t be silly.” She pulled away, already backing toward the door. “I haven’t slept in here in a long time. It’s available for you, Aswan, seriously. Don’t worry about it.”

With that, she turned and fled, leaving me to wonder why she slept in the smallest room in the house, and why this room was available for me to use.