Page 20

Scarlett

L eave them, I’ll do those.”

I glance over at Mama, who comes over to me just as I am about to put on the washing-up gloves, “Er, why? I always wash the evening dishes.” I cock a brow, putting the rubber gloves on.

“I know, but you should go do something else, maybe finish that book you were reading?”

I frown slightly, taking the sponge and bottle of washing-up liquid from her. “Mama…”

She smiles gently at me, trying to usher me aside, but I don’t move. She’s been doing this since everything came out, and it’s the same way she treats Indigo, never wanting to upset her and trying to make her happy or something.

“Mama, I think we need to talk,” I say firmly, placing the sponge and liquid in the sink.

“No really, I have nothing to do.”

I glance at the bags of cake supplies. I’m sure she has an anniversary and a birthday order to work on…

“Then let’s talk, you have time for that,” I say, taking her by the elbow and guiding her to the table.

“Is everything ok?” she asks me worriedly.

“Yeah, it’s good.” I make her sit down before I go around and take a seat opposite her.

“Hear me out, alright?” She nods, and I look around the kitchen. I’m not the kind of person who’s good with their words, but here goes nothing. “Look, I know you feel bad for the shit in our past. Honestly, I get it, but I don’t want you to treat me like you do Indy-”

“I’ve been so hard on you. I’ve always been hard on you, believing what she went through and not you. But I-”

“Mama! It’s not your fault, but seriously, you shouldn’t even treat Indigo like that. Yeah, we had a traumatic childhood, but we can’t live our lives being treated like china dolls in fear we might break. Let’s talk about it. Let’s express how we feel when we’re having a bad day. Talk. When one of us is feeling down, let’s talk. Pampering us isn’t the way.”

Her heart is racing, and I reach over the table, taking her hands in my gloved ones. I don’t like talking about stuff, but I realise Mama and Indigo need me to do just that. “Let’s work on our triggers. Let’s overcome them. Let’s be there for one another and not have to walk on eggshells around one another in fear the other might break. We can do this. .”

She looks at me before closing her eyes and taking a shaky breath. “See, once again you’re looking out for us when I should be the one-”

“Mama, you went through hell too, not everyone is made the same way. We all have our strengths and weaknesses.”

“I was too weak-”

“Mama, sometimes people look at a woman in a toxic relationship and call her weak for not just leaving. It’s never that easy. And it definitely doesn’t mean you’re weak.” The silence in the kitchen is somehow soothing, the drip of the tap and the occasional sounds the fridge makes fill it. The sound of a dog barking or a cat meowing in the distance occasionally fills the quiet.

“But I feel otherwise. My strength was you girls. It was the two of you who gave me the willpower to leave. To try to escape him, but I still failed.” She squeezes my hand. “And for years, I was firmer with you.”

“No, you were just trying your best. I really don’t hold you accountable. I mean, I could have told you too,” I answer. She nods.

I know you would have believed me, Mama. I just wanted to protect you. Because you are still broken...

But once again, I’m unable to say it out loud.

“I wish you did honey, but you did it to protect me, when you didn’t need to, you were so little. I’ll always blame myself for what happened. I should have done better. I loved you from the moment you were born. I thought maybe you would be the one to thaw his heart. But a monster can’t change. When I found out I was pregnant with Indigo, I was terrified he’d do something, and as much as I didn’t want to bring another child into his world, I had no option. He controlled everything.” Her eyes are hollow, and I stand up, walking around the table and wrap my arms around her shoulders.

“And you did the bravest thing you could to protect us by walking away.”

The kitchen door opens, and Indigo stands there. “What are you two doing?” she asks, narrowing her eyes.

I smirk. “Jealous?”

“Oh please, no. I mean, you stole my brother already,” she adds slyly.

“He’s still your brother.”

“Yeah, true.” She grins at me. I move back as Mama motions her over and takes hold of my wrist, motioning for me to sit beside her. Indigo comes over and sits on the table on Mama’s other side.

“What is it? I just came for biscuits.” She crosses her arms.

“Well, nothing really. I just want the both of you to know that I love you both equally. And yes, even when I was harder on you, Scarlett, it didn’t mean I loved you less,” Mama says softly. Our eyes meet and her eyes say it as clearly as they possibly could. She’s telling the truth.

“Yeah, yeah, we know,” Indigo answers, wrinkling her nose.

“I know you do,” I reply, hugging Mama again. She rests her head on my shoulder, and we fall silent. She holds Indigo’s hand, the other one resting on my arm.

“Wow, did I miss some intense heart-to-heart?” Indigo asks.

“Not really. It kinda starts now; so tell us, anything on your mind that you want to share?”

Her smile drops at my question, her heartbeat quickening. She pulls free from Mama’s hold, twisting her sleeve between her fingers.

“Well… some memories came back…” she whispers, her eyes full of fear and guilt.

“From your childhood?” I ask quietly.

She nods. “I’m sorry. So damn sorry.”

I cock a brow; she was a little child when we came to this pack. “What are you sorry about?”

“I remember you being dragged away. You begging to be let go, and he started kicking you and I kept crying and you told me to-”

“To go and hide…”

She nods, her eyes glistening with tears. “Yeah… I somehow blocked it out just like most of my memories, but the other day it came back. If I hadn’t shut it out and told Mama then-”

“Nothing would have been different; Zidane wasn’t going to stop. He didn’t care,” I answer softly, hoping she understands.

“But I also have these memories of you always telling me to hide or run. You took my share of beatings,” she whispers her voice cracking.

“Because I could handle it. It’s in the past, come on, let’s just forget it and promise we’ll talk about stuff going forward,” I suggest offering her my hand.

She looks at it before she nods, placing her hand against mine before threading her fingers with mine and giving it a squeeze. “Sure, but doesn’t mean I’m going to stop picking on you,” she adds.

I smirk. “Glad to hear it, brat.”

“Witch.”

We smile at one another as Mama shakes her head. “Just promise me, even when I’m gone, that you two will always look out for one another.”

“I promise,” we both say in unison before Indigo shudders.

“Ok guys, this is too gross and mushy.”

“Yeah, totally agree,” I answer as Mama chuckles, taking our hands and giving mine a kiss and then Indigo’s.

“I love you both,” she says just as her phone rings. “Oh Goddess, that’s going to be Tiffany McLay. Her son Rick’s birthday is coming up, and she wants me to bake her some cupcakes.”

“Well, you better get that, and I’ll go wash up,” I say. Mama smiles at me and thanks me as she hurries from the room to grab her phone, leaving me and Indigo alone.

“So, you know, I knew about you and Elijah since I saw you two in the bathroom. I’m not dumb.”

I stare at her shocked. “Wait, what?”

“Yeah,” she answers smugly.

“Right, I’m impressed you didn’t try to blackmail me.”

“It involved Elijah,” she shrugs, and I smirk. I’m grateful that she didn’t make it harder for me.

“So will you dry?” I ask as I walk over to the sink, motioning at the drying cloth.

She nods. “Sure, why not?”

“So, how’s Daniel doing?” I ask.

“Oh, he’s great. We’re going to watch a movie later.”

“Mhmm, make sure you’re careful. You know we’re not allowed to leave pack grounds.”

“Yeah, yeah, don’t worry, we’re just watching a movie at the packhouse. That’s the closest thing to a cinema we have right now,” she grumbles.

“Honestly, I wish we didn’t have to, but Dad isn’t overreacting. He’s strong. Really strong.”

She nods, and I don’t need to say who I’m talking about. She knows.

“Well how about we watch a movie, and call Daniel over? That’s something the four of us haven’t done in a while,” Elijah says from behind. I glance over my shoulder as I sponge the bowl I’m holding.

He looks effortlessly good as he gives us both a smile, unwrapping the chocolate he’s holding. Indigo drops the cloth and rushes over to him, snatching it from him. “Sure, let’s do it.”

“Oi, Pixie, you better share,” he says as he tries to grab the chocolate.

“I’ll think about it. Did you go into town? That’s so unfair that you older guys can go,” Indigo grumbles.

I watch them, smiling slightly. It’s crazy, but they really do get on so well, just like siblings do. Elijah grabs the bar, managing to take a chunk before Indigo takes it back, cackling at her victory.

Elijah looks up, his hair tumbling over his forehead as his cerulean eyes meet mine, causing my heart to skip a beat.

In a way, only he can make me feel.