Page 12

Jessica

“ C ome dear, let’s go have some tea. This trial is over. There’s no need to loiter here.” I hear Amelia’s voice in the distance. My heart is racing far too fast, my stomach churning sickeningly as a million horror stories swarm through my mind.

I’m pulled into the abyss of my nightmares, my mind flitting to a young Scarlett.

Years Earlier

“Mama.”

I force my eyes open, unable to move from the violent beating I suffered at Zidane’s hand last night.

“Baby…” I croak, looking down at Indigo, her straight black hair limp as it falls over her eyes.

“Mama, Scarlett is gone.”

Terror floods me as I look around. “Wh-where?”

“I don’t know, Mama. Papa took her, and she didn’t come back all night,” she sobs, her entire body trembling.

No! No!

I roll my body over, forcing myself to the side. I manage to fall off the bed, my body screaming with agony, but the resolve to find my baby is more important.

“I’m going to go find her, go hide,” I whisper, wrapping my broken arm around her shoulders. She nods, sobbing before she runs away, and I take a deep breath as I drag my body to the door. I’m not healing because he’s filled me with wolfsbane.

“Scarlett, baby, where are you!” I make it to the top of the stairs, dragging my body across the ground, leaving a trail of blood in my wake. I push my body forward, using my unbroken arm as support, but I’m barely three steps down when my body lurches forward and I roll down the stairs, pain searing through me. I let out an anguished cry as my vision darkens. I need to find Scarlett!

The very thought of what may happen to her fills me with anger and fear. I should be strong enough to protect her, to protect my babies! I’m the worst mama ever!

“L-luna…” someone whispers. I look up. It’s one of the guards, but his face is ashen, and my stomach drops when I sense the evil presence of the monster himself.

“Ah, now look at you Jess, out of bed so soon?”

I look up as the guard backs away, and I am met with black, shiny boots approaching me. My heart lurches in fear, not wanting to trigger him. My aim is to find my baby girl.

“I was looking for Scarlett, Alpha,” I say, lowering my head to him.

“Oh, were you? I’m sure I saw her around,” he chuckles darkly, making my heart drop.

“May I see her?” I ask, trying not to let my voice shake.

“Of course! Go find her.” He kicks my head, pain explodes in my head, my ears ringing, and I can’t tell what he’s saying as he steps on my back, causing me to cry out as my vision darkens.

His footsteps recede, and I don’t move until I know he’s gone.

“Someone find me my daughter!” I command hoarsely.

“Mama! What happened?!”

My heart leaps as I look up to hear my precious baby’s voice, but my blood runs cold when I realise she’s wearing a dress I don’t recognise. What has he done to her?

“Baby, where is your other dress?” I drag myself up as I run my hands down her arms and legs, trying to see if she’s hurt. She tilts her head.

“Papa got it for me.”

My stomach twists. “Di-did he hurt you?” I ask, sick thoughts making me tremble as I pray nothing happened to her. I search her body for any mark, any sign that he hurt her or- or raped her. I can’t put anything past him. I drag myself to my knees, my heart thudding. “Did he touch you? Tell me if he did something to you?” I whisper, cupping her face. “If he- if he…” I sob in fear as I caress her face. There are no bruises, but what if he did something else?

She glances up the stairs as if he might appear before she smiles at me. “No, Mama, don’t worry, he didn’t touch me.”

“Did he hurt you?” I ask fearfully.

She observes me before she shakes her head, reaching up and wipes my tears tenderly. I don’t flinch despite the burning pain in my cheeks from the cuts I have. “No, Mama, he is training me to be strong. So my other clothes got ruined. I’m ok. You don’t need to worry about me.”

“No, I don’t believe that. Let me check your legs, may I?” I whisper.

“Yes, Mama, but I told you I’m ok, look,” she answers, pulling up her skirt to show me her legs and holding out her arms. “See?”

I stare at her. Can it really be possible that he’s decided to train her to be his heir?

“Ok… but remember, if he ever hurts you, you tell Mama, ok?”

“Ok!”

“Promise me, Scarlett,” I whisper with urgency. I need her to understand. She nods vigorously.

“I pinky promise, Mama.”

I pull away from Amelia the moment we reach home, the snap of the door yanking me from my thoughts. She lied to protect me! What kind of mother am I?

“Jessica! Oh dearie…” I raise my arms warning Amelia to stay back as I run up the stairs and into my bedroom and lock the door rushing to the bathroom before I drop to my knees, twisting my fingers into my hair as I break into gut-wrenching sobs.

I failed her; I failed her!

My entire body hurts from the revelation. All my life I believed that only Indigo suffered, and because I knew she’d suffered and thought Scarlett didn’t, I was harder on Scarlett, wanting her to be mindful of Indigo’s trauma. Oh, how stupid I was?

I wrap my arms around myself, digging my nails into my waist, drawing blood as my claws come out as I fight against the onslaught of a panic attack that is just waiting to happen.

Why did you not tell me, Scarlett?

I asked her, every single time she went to this so-called training, but she never let on that something was happening. I checked her for bruises every single time, to make sure she was ok. Even worried why there were no bruises on her, and she’d reassure me it was because she wore protective gear.

If there had even been a sign, I would have realised – no, I should have realised!

“I’m not worthy of being her mother. I should have been the one to suffer. The one to protect them, but she instead protected me and suffered all alone!” I cry in agony.

It’s becoming harder to breathe, but it doesn’t matter. I don’t deserve to live, not after my failures. Oh, how I wish I could turn back time.

“I want him dead!” I scream, choking on my tears. “I hate you! I hate you Zidane for what you did to her! I hate you!”

“Jessica!” The door opens, and I scream at Amelia not to come closer.

“Stay away!”

“Child, this is not your fault.”

“It is! She suffered in silence! Alone! She’s been through Goddess knows what!” I scream, my stomach churning as I lurch forward and vomit.

“Oh, this is not on you dear.” Amelia tries to soothe me, but it is. It is all my fault!

My hands are braced on the floor, covered in my own blood, as I empty the contents of my stomach onto the bathroom floor.

“Sleep child…” Amelia murmurs, and I suddenly feel myself losing consciousness before everything goes dark.

Amelia

I sigh heavily as I look at the woman who has ripped out strands of her own hair. She’s clawed open her sides too.

A mother’s guilt. Oh, how I can relate to it. I blink away the tears that threaten to fall, refusing to think about my own past. My own failure as a mother.

I brush my hands over her wounds.

“Jessica! Amelia, what happened to her?!” Jackson’s voice comes and I quickly wipe my eyes.

“She’s…” For once I don’t know what to say as Jackson scoops her up, panic in his eyes as he carries her to the bed.

“Get me the first aid kid!” he orders. “I felt her in physical pain.” He curses seeing her wounds.

I remain silent as he removes her top and bandages her up. I get a towel and a bowl of water to wipe her mouth and hands. I then silently head to the bathroom to clean up the sickness.

When I finish, I return to the bedroom, stopping when I see him sitting slumped over, holding her hand in his lap.

“I don’t understand,” he whispers. “Why would she harm herself? She hasn’t regressed like this in years.”

“Well, she put two and two together. It seems Zidane surely abused Scarlett, and she’s always been a little harder on Scarlett, thinking she had not suffered the same level of trauma as her and Indigo,” I explain, sighing heavily. “As a mother, it’s understandable.”

He’s silent, his heart thudding as we both fall quiet, simply looking at the woman on the bed. “I’m sure it is. You probably understand it more than I ever will,” he says quietly.

I remain silent. Oh, I truly do…

“Is that why you don’t like me, because of Jonah?”

My eyes widen as I look at the man whose words were barely spoken above a whisper, almost as if he didn’t want me to hear them. Guilt rushes through me and I shake my head even though he can’t see.

“Oh no, no, I could never blame you for Jonah. I was the one who said he had to go because you were needed here. It’s how the hierarchy works,” I say softly.

Sure, he could have become Alpha, but an alpha given a title, and a true alpha, are miles apart. My Jonah did his part. He died protecting his Alpha.

“Yet I anger you. Just the mere sight of me annoys you.”

I approach my nephew, who even sitting is not that much shorter than me. “I tease you because it makes you angry, and tell me, Jackson, when you are angry, what colour are your eyes when your wolf surfaces?”

He frowns slightly before his expression turns to one of shock. “Teal.” Understanding dawns in his eyes as they meet mine. “Jonah’s eyes were teal.”

I nod, smiling despite the sadness that surrounds me. “Yes, and in those moments when your anger pulls your wolf forward and your eyes turns teal, I see my Jonah in you.” I look away, this time unable to stop my eyes filling with tears.

“Am… Aunt… I’m sorry,” he says quietly as he stands, and to my surprise, wraps his arms around me tightly. “I know I’m not Jonah, but I am still your son, right? You are my mother’s sister. An aunt is also like a mother.”

“Yes, yes, she is.” I wrap my arms around him tightly, not sure why I told him, but at that moment, he looked near broken. I don’t want to see him like that again.

Never again, and most certainly not because of me.

“Well now, let’s not get so tearful. I think you need to speak to the children, don’t you think?” I ask, moving back and wiping my tears briskly.

He nods, looking down at me, my heart skipping a beat as I find myself looking into teal eyes. For the first time, they are not full of anger but warmth, understanding and sadness. A small smile on his face.

Just how my Jonah would have looked if he was alive today.