Page 98 of My Girl

I lungefor the front door. My hand twists the handle. Crave yanks me back. I stumble to the ground.

The door opens.

Ned’s eyes widen.

Help,I want to say.Run away.

I stay silent on the ground.

Ned stares at Crave, his gaze seething. He steps inside of the apartment and broadens his shoulders, taking up as much space as possible.

I should warn him.

Crave will kill you,I should say.You’ll die.

“You hurt her,” Ned growls.

Crave’s lips pull into the smile I know so well. When his mask was unzipped, it revealed this small glimpse of the real him.

I never saw Officer Gaines smile. Would I have seen the resemblance then? Or would I have denied that truth?

“I fucked her, you mean,” Crave says.

“I’m calling the police,” Ned shouts.

Crave bellows with laughter so hard, he holds his stomach. The clamor crashes through the apartment.

Ned and I gawk at him.

“What’s so funny?” Ned asks.

A tingling sensation crawls from my stomach to the back of my neck.

This isn’t good.

Crave cracks his neck. “I’ve got a better idea.”

Crave barrels into Ned, his body slamming into the wall. The two of them pummel each other on the ground. Punching. Kicking. Grunts. Pain. A fist in a cheekbone. Blood spit on the ground.

I should do something.

I should call the police.

Crave’s gun is on the floor, right outside of the bathroom. I could get it. They wouldn’t even notice.

I should shoot Crave.

He’s killed so many people.

Crave punches, his fists railing into Ned’s face, a predator mashing his rival into the ground.

Crave has done so many horrible things. I know that.

But he hasn’t killed me.

You’re fucking crazy,my brain argues.He’s brainwashed you. Made you think you’re special. You’re not. He’ll kill you too.

I imagine a bullet colliding with Ned’s head. The explosion of brain and bone and blood. The goodness of the world dripped onto a blank canvas. The meaninglessness of it all.