Page 30 of My Fake Date With My Childhood Friend (Port Lane Romances #3)

twenty-two

Charlie knocked lightly at my open door. I spun around while finishing putting my second earring in. It was the early evening of Christmas Eve and I was just finishing getting ready for the Rigby’s annual party.

“Hey, Mom’s wondering if you’re almost ready,” Charlie said.

“Yeah, I just need to put my hair up,” I said. I was already dressed in my new dark red dress, with white tights and black boots on. I was wearing a matching set of silver earrings, necklaces, and bracelet.

“Want some help?” He asked.

“Sure.” I spun around to face the mirror and handed him two clips.

He twisted my long dark hair with practiced ease, slipping the clips perfectly into place.

Mom was always busy in the mornings and Dad worked strange hours so he often wasn't awake when I went off to school, so Charlie used to do my hair for me when I was a kid.

“You look great, Penny,” he said. We made eye contact in the mirror and I smiled at him.

“Thank you. So do you.”

He was dressed in the same grey suit he wore every year and his hair was short enough that it wasn't falling in his face like it usually did. My mom probably forced him to cut it before the party.

“Thanks,” he said with a lopsided smile. He turned me around again to face him and smoothed down the sleeves of my dress. “Are you okay? You've been down since the formal.”

“Yeah, I—” I shook my head, my voice suddenly disappearing again. That had been happening a lot lately. “It's just the fight with Alexander. I guess it's been getting me down.”

It had been more than getting me down. It was completely destroying me.

In the days since my conversation with Nikki, I had gone back and forth on my decision to try to win Alexander back.

I couldn't shake the feeling that it was a bad idea.

We'd only embarked on this fake relationship journey because I was so hurt by Joseph cheating on me.

It hadn't occurred to me that by doing this, I would be letting a new boy into my heart to break it again.

Before all of this, Alexander Rigby was just a family friend who had very limited power over my feelings.

Now, he held my heart in his hands. I'd once thought that risk was worth it and that was how I ended up in this situation.

Could I really trust Alexander not to do the same?

“Seems like it's more than that,” Charlie said.

“We need to go, Charlie,” I said. “Mom's waiting for us, right?”

He glanced out the bedroom door. “Eh, she's probably still wrangling up the kids. We have a minute.”

“Charlie—”

“Why did you break up with him?” He interrupted. I crossed my arms and scowled.

“What makes you think I broke with him?” I snapped. Ordinarily, I'd probably be happy that he didn't immediately assume I'd been dumped, but I didn't appreciate what I knew he was suggesting: that I'd broken up with Alexander for some stupid reason and was too proud to try to get him back.

“Because I know you,” he said. “Not to mention that I could see how in love with you he was. There's no way he just broke up with you out of the blue.”

“Except that he did!”

“Don't lie to me, Penny!”

I let out a frustrated groan and buried my face in my hands.

“I don't know what you want me to tell you, Charlie!” I snapped. “He thought that I wasn't over Joseph and he broke up with me, okay?”

“And why did he think that?” Charlie pressed.

“Because Joseph showed up out of the blue and said he was still in love with me!” I took a step back and breathed deeply.

“It's long and complicated, Charlie. But you know what?

It was for the best, anyway. If he was going to break my heart anyway, it's better that he did it before I fell head over heels for him like I did with Joseph.”

Understanding crossed Charlie's face, and he slowly nodded.

“So, that's what this is about,” he said. “You're scared Alexander is going to cheat on you like Joseph did.”

I shook my head. “No.”

But I couldn't deny it any more than that because I knew he was right. What other reason had there been for me to stop Alexander from kissing me? I wanted him and he wanted me, but all I could think about was the thousand ways he could ruin me.

“You can't put that on him, Penny,” Charlie said softly. “You can't just assume that he'll cheat.”

I sank down onto my desk chair. “I don't want to. But how can I not?”

“Because Alexander is his own person.” He sat down on my bed, across from me.

“Look, Penny, everyone is going to make mistakes in their relationships.

There's no getting around it. But you can't anticipate what he's going to do, especially not based on what other boyfriends have done to you in the past. Alexander is his own person — let him make his own mistakes.”

The Rigby’s house was full of cheery people and music. My mom made me go around and greet everyone, even the people I didn’t know who somehow knew me. I was concerned by the sheer number of them who said they used to change my diapers when I was a baby. Like, gross much?

This was one of the few times that I wasn’t too angry about her making me go around, though. It gave me the excuse not to stop anywhere for too long or get dragged into an activity, giving me a chance to look around for Alexander. But just like the last day of school, he was nowhere to be found.

In the end, I circled back around to find Francine. Her blonde hair was pulled back in a nice up-do, and she was wearing a simple black dress.

“Hi, Francine!” I said as I walked up to her.

“Penny!” Francine said in a sing-song voice. She pulled me into a tight hug. She had the familiar scent of apple and cinnamon that made me feel like I was home. “How are you, honey?”

“I’m good,” I said with my face smashed against her shoulder. “Um, Francine?”

She pulled away and held me at arm’s length. I took a deep breath now that I could again.

“Yes?”

“Have you seen Alexander? I can’t find him anywhere.”

Francine's face resting face was kind and gentle, so it was very obvious when she looked concerned. Her brows furrowed, and her dark brown eyes became intense.

“He won't come out of his room,” she sighed. “He’s been so upset the past few days, but I have no idea. Have you talked to him?”

“Me?” I repeated stupidly. I didn’t know what to say. The way she was talking made it seem like Alexander hadn’t told her about our fight for some reason. “Um… no. We haven’t spoken in a few days.”

“Well, maybe you can cheer him up now,” she said. She pushed me towards the stairs. “You know where his room is. Go see if you can get him to come down and see his friends. I’m sure that will make him feel better.”

“Oh, um…” I tried to think of some sort of protest, but she pushed me all the way to the stairs, then wandered off to greet some more guests that were just coming in. “Okay, I guess I’m doing this now.”

It was only then that I realized I hadn’t actually planned out what I was going to say to Alexander once I saw him.

All I knew was that I was going to talk to him once I came to the party, and now that I was here, I was worried.

How was I going to explain everything? Would he even listen to me?

Or would he send me away and not even entertain the idea of hearing me out?

I took a deep breath and started the climb up the stairs. The farther I got, the more scared I became. What if he didn’t want to see me? What if he was already over me?

Alexander's bedroom door was closed, and I didn't see any light seeping out from underneath it. I paused in the hallway for a second and pressed my ear to the door to see if I could hear anything, but it was dead silent. Was he even in there?

I knocked softly, scared that I might be waking him up from a nap or something. My heart was pounding in my chest, and my stomach felt sick as I waited for his response.

“Alexander?” I said. When there was no response, I knocked again a little harder. “Alexander? It's Penny.”

“Go away,” was the only reply.

“Your mom sent me up here,” I said. “She wants you to come down to the party.”

I kicked myself for saying it as soon as the words left my mouth. Telling him his mother sent me to talk to him probably wasn't winning me any points in his books. I wanted him to know that I wanted to come up here.

“Tell her I'm not coming,” he said.

“But—”

“Just go away, Penny,” he said. He sounded so resigned. So defeated. My heart broke at the thought that I had caused him to feel that way.

“All right,” I murmured sadly.

I turned around and started back down the stairs, my steps slow and reluctant. I wanted to call out to him again, to tell him how sorry I was, but I knew it would do no good. He didn't want to hear from me like that.

I paused on the bottom step and considered what I could do now. He probably expected me to just go back to the party and forget about him, but I refused to do that. I'd spent too much time just rolling over and giving up when things got tough, and I refused to do it now.

I squared my shoulders and started walking in the direction of the party again.

Instead of pausing to mingle or join in on any of the activities, though, I passed straight through the house and went to the backyard.

If he wouldn't hear me out through his door, he better be prepared to talk to me through his window instead because I was not going to take no for an answer.

Nikki had told me to make a big gesture, and I was going to do it.

After all, Christmas was the perfect time to woo someone, right?

In the backyard, I dug around for small pebbles that I thought I could throw at his window without breaking it.

To my surprise and annoyance, though, it was incredibly difficult to find pebbles in the snow.

Within minutes, my fingers were frozen, and I was coming up empty.

I would have to go with the next best thing: snowballs.