Page 27 of My Fake Date With My Childhood Friend (Port Lane Romances #3)

nineteen

The formal was on the evening of the second last day before the break, so Friday morning was my last chance to talk to Alexander before Christmas Eve.

The last day at my school was just a half day without any real classes.

We had to go to our homeroom for about twenty minutes, then we had the Holiday Assembly, which was really just a talent show.

Technically speaking, it wasn’t optional, but so few people showed up that it might as well have been.

I pulled my scarf up over my mouth and nose to protect my skin from the icy wind and tilted my head down as I power-walked to the school.

Why did the weather have to take another turn for the worse again on the last day of school?

The normally ten-minute walk had turned into a good twenty minutes today.

And to make my bad day worse, I was stuck behind the slowest walkers in the world — Ryan and Ella — who were too busy holding hands and staring into each other’s eyes to realize they were blocking the main doors into the school.

It was like they were in their own little world.

Somebody crashed into me from behind, barely muttering an apology as he swerved to get around Ryan and Ella.

He didn’t quite make it, though — there was now a large bottleneck of foot traffic as students desperately tried to get inside.

There were people on all sides of me, giving me no space to get away from the love-sick couple.

My lip curled as they started kissing, right there on the school porch, of all places.

Gosh, at least find an empty classroom or something.

“Will you two move?” I finally snapped. They both jerked back instinctively. Ella stared at me with wide eyes, looking remarkably like a lost puppy. I gestured at everything around us. “You’re blocking the door, and we’re trying to get inside.”

“Oh.” Ella blinked as if she was only now realizing where she was. “Sorry.”

Painfully slowly, she grabbed Brandon’s hand and started walking inside.

There was a mad rush as people started pouring through the doors and into the school.

I let myself be pushed along with it, resisting the urge to glare at Ryan and Ella, who were now making out against a wall featuring the House Crest of the family who used to own the manor that was converted into our school.

Honestly, it felt a little disrespectful to be kissing right there, but I supposed it was better than in the stupid doorway.

A sense of déjà vu crashed into me so hard that I had to stop walking for a second.

This was exactly how I’d been before Alexander, and I started this fake relationship — hating the world and all couples.

I hadn’t realized how much he pulled me out of that funk.

But why did the idea of him being mad at me to make me feel this way again?

That definitely didn’t make any sense. He and I were never dating, so I shouldn’t have been feeling like I’d just been broken up with all over again.

I shook my head. Clearly, I was just in a weird mood today. Seeing Joseph on my doorstep like that had just messed me up, and that was why I was so upset. It was also the reason Alexander was upset with me, though, so I needed to go find him.

Alexander came to the Holiday Assembly every year, but I didn’t see him anywhere when I got to school.

After checking his locker, I stopped by his homeroom, but it wasn’t in either spot.

I couldn’t shake the feeling in my heart that he was avoiding me.

I couldn’t blame them at all — I could only imagine how embarrassing it would be to confess my feelings to someone, only for her ex-boyfriend to show up and do the same.

And he left too soon to hear me tell Joseph to screw off.

When I got to the assembly, I tried looking for him, just in case I’d somehow missed him earlier. I spotted Kyle in the fourth row, so I walked over to join him. He was a few seats down the row, like he was waiting for multiple people to come to sit with him.

“Hey,” I said. “Is this seat taken?”

“Go ahead,” he said. I sat down, then looked around again, just in case. “He’s not here.”

“What?”

“Alexander’s not coming today,” Kyle said. “He told me he was sick.”

“Sick?” I repeated. What were the chances of that being true?

Kyle shrugged. “Pretty sure he was lying, but maybe he was just trying to convince his mom to let him stay home.”

I shook my head. “No, she wouldn’t care if he didn’t come for this.”

I’d skipped it last year and ended up going over to Alexander’s house with my mom instead.

I was surprised when I didn’t find Alexander there, but his mom told me that he always went to the Holiday Assembly.

He even used to skip school when he was younger and sneak in here with his older brother, Rhys.

It was one of his favourite traditions. It felt awful to think that I made him miss it this year.

Liv came running down the aisle and sat down next to me.

“Hey, guys!” She said. She held a pack of Twizzlers out to me. “I brought snacks.”

“Thanks, Liv,” I said hollowly. I took one from the pack but didn’t take a bite as I stared straight ahead. Alexander shouldn’t have had to skip this. If I’d known he wanted to avoid me so badly, I would have skipped so he could come instead.

“Penny?” Liv asked. She waved a hand in front of my face. “Are you okay?”

I snapped out of my thoughts. “Oh. Yeah. I’m fine.”

“Are you sure?” Liv asked in concern.

“Does this have something to do with Alexander?” Kyle asked.

“A little,” I admitted. “Something, uh... happened between us last night.”

Liv frowned. “Like a fight?”

I wasn't sure if what happened could be constituted as a fight, but I didn’t know how else to explain it to them.

“Yes,” I said. I stared at my hands. “And I’m not sure if we’re going to be able to work things out.”

“What happened?” Liv asked.

I took a deep breath. “He… might be under the impression that I want to get back together with Joseph.”

Liv's jaw dropped, and Kyle looked at me in horror.

“Oh,” Kyle said.

“How...” Liv trailed off and shook her head.

“Uh, well…” I cleared my throat and thought about the best way to tell this story.

I didn’t want to admit to her that the whole relationship had been fake.

I didn't want to betray Alexander's trust by telling them that we were pretending to be in a relationship.

“Alexander was over here after the formal yesterday when Joseph showed up. And when Joseph confessed his love for me, Alexander asked me if I still had feelings for him and I just froze.” I shook my head.

“He thought that meant that I did, and he left.”

“Oh, gosh,” Liv whispered. “I know this is probably a stupid question, but I have to ask: do you still love him?”

“Of course not!” I said immediately. It was the first time I’d said that and genuinely meant it. “But it doesn’t matter if I do or not, because he won’t talk to me.”

I could tell the news was disappointing to them, and I felt a little bad.

Maybe, Alexander, I shouldn’t have played up our relationship as much as we had.

Just like with my family, I hadn’t thought about how upset other people would be when we ended everything.

They exchanged a look, then Liv spoke up.

“Well, that sucks,” she said softly. “But I'm sure you'll figure it out. He just needs some time to process everything, and then you can explain it all to him.”

“Yeah,” I murmured. “Maybe.”

As much as I did want to figure this out, I wasn't sure if Alexander would want to. We were supposed to "break up" over the holidays, anyway. Would he just want to go back to the way things were before we started this whole thing?

Only talking when our families got together and barely acknowledging each other outside of that? I couldn't blame him if he did.

Liv wrapped her arm around me and leaned her head on my shoulder.

“I’m sorry, Penny,” she whispered. I tried to blink back the tears that were suddenly springing up. “Hey, why don’t we go out or something after the assembly? We can get your mind off him.”

“Really?” I asked. I looked at her face for any hint of deceit, but she was looking at me with big, sincere eyes. “You still want to be friends with me? Even if Alexander and I aren’t together?”

Liv’s eyebrows pulled together in confusion. “Of course. Why wouldn’t I?”

“I just thought that...” I swallowed thickly. “I thought that you were just friends with me because I'm dating Alexander. And now that we might be over...”

Liv looked hurt. “Is that why you were friends with me? Just because I was friends with your boyfriend?”

“Of course not!”

“Then why would you assume I am?” Liv asked.

I sighed and wrapped my arm around her. “I don't know. I guess after Nikki, I'm just not used to people wanting me around.”

“I still want to be your friend,” Liv said. “Even if Alexander is gone.”

I felt a weight lift off my chest. “Thank you, Liv.”

Kyle nodded. “We're your friends no matter what, Penny.”

I smiled gratefully at them and rubbed my arm where Liv had hugged me. It felt nice to know that even though Alexander and I were over, they still wanted me as a friend. Even if we weren't together, we could still be okay.

I spent the rest of the assembly trying to focus on what was being said, but my mind kept drifting back to Alexander and what might be going on with him. What was he doing? Was he okay? I hoped that everything was okay and that he wasn't too upset with me.

When the assembly finally ended, we were officially on Christmas Break, but it didn't feel as good as I thought it would. I'd finally been in the Christmas spirit, but with everything going on now, I had no interest in it anymore.

“Do you want to go out for coffee?” Liv asked as we walked out of the school. I checked the time on my phone and sighed.

“I can’t,” I said sadly. “I have a family thing.”

“Okay.” Liv squeezed my hand. “Call me later, yeah?”

I nodded. “Thanks. I will.”

Things weren’t perfect right now, that much was obvious. But at least I had friends by my side to help me through it.

The family thing was welcoming my brother Elliot home from college.

When Mom told us we all had to be here for it, Charlie pointed out that she didn’t do anything like that for his home-coming, but Mom said this was different because the whole family was being reunited for the first time since Labour Day.

Personally, I didn’t see the big deal. Elliot had been going away for college for four years now, and we were all very used to it.

Mom made us line up beside the door in Christmas sweaters. It was like we were the Van Trapp’s or something.

“This sweater is itchy,” I said. I pulled at the neck, where it was actually sitting against my bare skin.

“So is mine,” Florence said.

“Mine's too small!” Benjamin complained.

“I know, baby,” Mom said. “But it's tradition.”

“Tradition, my foot,” I said. “We've never done this!”

“Well, traditions have to start somewhere, don't they?” Mom said. Benjamin tried to run out of the line, but she calmly grabbed him and put him back in his spot as if nothing had happened.

“This is stupid.” I sighed and crossed my arms. I wasn't in the mood for this.

“Everyone, quiet!” Mom said. She looked out the window. “They're walking up the driveway now!”

We all quieted down. I could see Elliot's Jeep in the driveway. The front door opened, and everyone started yelling and cheering. My siblings immediately broke the perfect line by running to hug him.

“I'm so glad you're home!”

“We missed you!”

Mom stepped in, hugged Elliot, and patted him on the back. “I'm so glad you're here,” Mom said, hugging Elliot. “It's been so lonely without you.”

Elliot laughed and hugged her back. “As if it could ever get lonely around here.”

I snorted. “You’ve got that right.”

Elliot turned, saw me, and grinned.

“Hey, sis!” he said, giving me a hug. As much as I complained about my siblings, it was nice to have all of us home again.

“Come to the kitchen,” Mom said. “We have cookies and hot cocoa.”

The smile slipped off my face again. The mention of hot chocolate only served to remind me of last night and everything that had gone down between Alexander and me.

“Actually, I'm not feeling too great,” I said as everyone started walking into the house. “I think I'll just go lie down.”

“Are you sure, sweetie?” Dad asked.

“Yeah,” I said. I backed up towards the stairs. “Late night, you know? With the formal and everything.”

“You were home before us,” Charlie said.

“Well, you were out late, I guess,” I said. “Anyway, I?—”

“Does this have something to do with Alexander?” Mom asked. “Did you two have a fight or something? You did seem quiet this morning...”

“Alexander Rigby?” Elliot asked in surprise. “Why would you have a fight with him? You barely even talk.”

“Oh, I guess nobody told you,” Mom said. “Penny and Alexander are dating now.”

Elliot’s eyes widened, and he asked in total shock, “You’re dating Alexander?”

Why did they have to go and bring up Alexander? I’d had the perfect excuse not to want to hang out with my family right now. I didn’t want to talk about this — not now, not ever. Couldn’t she see I was upset?

“Not anymore,” I snapped. I stomped upstairs and slammed my door behind me. Why had I agreed to this stupid and ridiculous plan, anyway? Sure, it got people at school to stop talking about me, but was it really worth all these consequences?

I couldn’t deny it anymore. Fake dating Alexander Rigby had caused me to fall in love with him — and made me break both of our hearts.