Page 25 of My Alien Bughead (Supernova Casanovas #4)

Chapter 25

D’Aakh

I wake up to the sound of hushed conversation.

“I know you have to go,” Z’Ree says, “but I’m worried. Don’t they have their own doctor?”

“I’m sorry, my jewel,” Nikolai replies. “There is a doctor on the station, but if a fight breaks out, they’ll have their hands full. I have to help them.”

I’m overcome with relief. Zarkan must have decided to help the station. Watching Z’Ree and Nikolai, my demand to be released from my restraints dies on my tongue as I see Nikolai lovingly caressing her stomach. It’s still flat but then again, they’ve only been together for a few days. It looks like they didn’t waste any time getting knocked up.

“I’ll be back,” Nikolai says. “I promise.”

Z’Ree’s tears make a tinkling sound as they fall to the infirmary floor. Kissing Nikolai desperately, she then pulls back and demands, “You’d better. Now go, before I change my mind and tie you to the bed like D’Aakh.”

Nikolai chuckles as he heads for the door. “That sounds like a plan for later. Love you.”

As the door swooshes closed behind him, Z’Ree sighs deeply. “Love you too,” she whispers.

She turns just in time to catch me staring at her. I feel like a creep for listening in to their conversation but since I’m still tied to the damned bed, it’s not like I could have walked away to give them privacy.

“How are you feeling?” she asks. This time only a single crystalline tear rolls down her cheek before it clinks to the floor. “Still in pain? You should rest some more.”

Yeah, like I’m about to rest while the rest of the crew fights. “I’m fine,” I say. Z’Ree cocks an eyebrow, piercing me with her unnerving purple stare, so I amend, “Alright, I’m not entirely fine. But I can fight.” Probably. Right now, I’m not even sure I’ll be able to stand up but I’ll find a way to get to Lucía even if I have to crawl.

“D’Aakh, you really should stay here. You are anything but fine. The stimulants are still wreaking havoc in your nervous system and we can’t even give you any pain killers. Not to mention, your energy levels are completely drained through lack of nutrition. You have no reserves to take from anymore. You’ll just collapse again.”

She’s not entirely right. I still have one place to draw energy from, a new place I’ve only recently discovered. My feelings for Lucía. “Z’Ree, please.” I try to reach for her but the wretched cuff on my wrist holds me back. “I love her.”

Z’Ree’s eyes widen. “Lucía?”

“Yes. And she’s in danger. Please, I have to be with her. I know you’d do the same for your mate if you weren’t pregnant. Congratulations, by the way.”

She smiles absently as she caresses her stomach. “Thank you.” Her smile falters as she looks at me again. “I know how you feel, D’Aakh, trust me. But you’re not well enough to leave here. This is how you’ll feel if you leave this room.”

The soft, nearly imperceptible humming coming from her stops. Pain hits me like a hammer to the face, my whole body screaming in agony. Gritting my teeth, I push through it. “It’s…fine.” I grunt, inhaling a few deep breaths to stabilize my voice. Stabilizing my voice is about all I can manage right now but I'm determined to push through the pain. “I’m fine. I will be fine. The pain is nothing. I can live with it. What I can’t live with is Lucía getting hurt or…” Mzr’s lifeless eyes flash in front of my own causing me to clench my fists, wincing at the sudden bout of pain coming from my finger joints.

“D’Aakh…”

“Z’Ree, please. Please, I need to be with Lucía.”

Z’Ree sighs. Then, to my immense relief, she starts undoing the restraints on my ankles. “You’ll get me in trouble.”

“Nonsense. You’re the hero who saved us all from that neutron star. No one will say a thing against you.”

She rolls her eyes. “I think I liked you better when you were a jerk. This nice version of you is dangerously devious. Now, take it slow. I’m not picking you up if you collapse and smash your head open.”

Despite being eager to run to Lucía, I heed Z’Ree’s advice and sit up slowly. My vision swims so violently I nearly pass out but I dig my aching fingers into the mattress and focus on them. One step at a time.

Once my vision somewhat stabilizes, I stand up, still leaning against the bed for support. Head spinning, I try putting more weight onto my feet. As the dizziness fades, I manage to let go of the mattress and now I’m standing on my own. It hurts like hell but it seems my feet will carry me, so at least I won’t have to crawl out of here. It’s the small victories, right?

Taking a cautious first step, followed by another one, I decide that yes, this will work. It will be painful but it will work. I’ll have to stop by the armory to pick up a rifle though, because hand-to-hand combat is completely out of the question. As weak as I am right now, a newborn could beat me up.

Aside from the pain in my spasming muscles and aching joints, there’s an overwhelming need letting itself be known. A craving so strong that it nearly suffocates me.

For the third time in under a minute, I reach for my inhaler. For the third time in that same minute, violent shudders run through me when I remember I don’t have it anymore.

My body craves the drug on a deep, physical level that I honestly have no way to control and I know that if there was a stimstick in front of me right now, I’d use it without a second’s hesitation, even knowing that it would probably kill me. Whatever’s left of the rational part of my brain would be silenced by the purely desperate, physical need. It scares the shit out of me.

The soft hand on my shoulder pulls me out of those thoughts. “Are you okay?” Z’Ree asks.

Not wanting her to second-guess her decision, I force out a smile. “Never better.”

She smacks the back of my head. “You’re an idiot. Do you want me to help you get to the hangar? The others left in the larger shuttle already but the smaller one is still there.”

“We’re not docked at the station? Wait, of course not. The Supernova will be their first line of defense, shooting at anything that dares to approach. The team will take care of whoever makes it through to the station.” It’s a standard tactic and I should have realized it earlier. It’s a good thing we have two shuttles or I’d be stuck on the ship. “I have to stop by the armory.”

“The armory is empty,” Z’Ree objects. “Zarkan gave out the guns to the people on the station.”

Of course he did. “My room, then. But…” I freeze as I think about the few stimsticks stashed in the secret compartment in my bedroom. Did Zarkan find them? Or are they still there? The temptation to ditch Z’Ree and go check myself is overwhelming but I resist. For Mzr. For Lucía. For myself. “Z’Ree, would you please come with me? I need your help with something.”

“Of course. Just try not to die, okay? And…” She hesitates. “When you get to the station, keep an eye on Nikolai for me, please? I know he’s a good fighter and a great medic and everything but I just… I can’t lose him.”

There it is, the reason she’s letting me go despite both her orders and her better judgment. I don’t blame her. The desire to protect one’s mate is the strongest feeling there is. Then my eyes trace to her hand gently rubbing over her stomach. Except for maybe the desire to protect one’s children.

An image of a youngling with tiny ahni and Lucía’s eyes engulfs me but I chase it away. That’s never going to happen. Lucía hates me, for good reason. The best I can hope for now is to keep her safe. If I die achieving that, it will be a good death.