Page 15 of My Alien Bughead (Supernova Casanovas #4)

Chapter 15

D’Aakh

I’m not religious in any way. I mean, why would I be? Most religions in the galaxy are just hogwash nonsense designed to control the masses, only thriving because people are generally too stupid to see through the ruse. I’m not stupid, and until I get actual scientific proof that a higher power exists, I will remain firmly agnostic.

However, my current situation is quickly testing that resolve because there is no way this torment I’ve found myself in is the real world. I must have died and gone to one of the hundreds of hells sentient creatures have invented throughout the ages just to scare each other shitless.

As if having a human messing with my ship isn’t bad enough, now I have a swarm of bugs following my every move, getting in my way and making a mess of things. What’s worse, Zarkan approved it all, so there’s nothing I can do to make them all leave me alone. I can’t even yell abuse at them because Cai refuses to translate any swear words to the Serramorphs and Lucía merely rolls her eyes and ignores me.

Yes, it’s confirmed. I’m in hell.

And I deserve it.

A shudder runs through me as I recall the kiss I’d shared with Lucía in the cave. She probably thinks my attitude is because I’m disgusted by her appearance, that the mere thought of kissing a human makes me sick. I won’t rush in to correct her on that assumption but she couldn’t be further from the truth.

Kissing her was…everything. I’d never felt so elated, so blissful, so hungry before. Not even when thinking about kissing Mzr. And that’s the problem.

I’m not disgusted with Lucía. I’m disgusted with myself. I’m a filthy traitor, defiling Mzr’s memory just a few short weeks after she died. Perhaps I’m the primitive creature after all, unable to control my emotions around Lucía.

What’s worse, I want more. More kisses, more touches, more everything.

My ahni ache as my overstimulated brain keeps thinking about her, wanting to explore the intricate patterns of her addictive electromagnetic field. My cock aches too. It’s also wanting to explore the warm depths of her pussy. The ball of pent up anguish residing in the place where my heart used to be is furious at me for making Lucía hate me. And she does hate me. Passionately.

Our last few interactions have ended in a fight that only narrowly avoided getting physical. My whole body vibrates from the tension created by overriding my desperate need to slam her against the nearest bulkhead and fuck the attitude out of her.

Every time she opens her mouth to argue with me, or offer me one of those sassy insults she excels at, all I can think about is what sound would she make if I fucked her? Would she moan sweetly? Surrender to me?

Grinning at the thought of Lucía surrendering to me, I chuckle. Lucía surrender? Never. She’d fight for dominance until her last breath. Or at least until my barbs extend and inject her with venom, locking us together in a haze of endless pleasure. Then she’d be mine, truly and eternally mine. Why the hell does that sound like the most desirable thing in the universe?

She’s surly and irritating, and most of the time I want to throttle her. Why should I want her to be mine?

Yet, I do, which adds an extra layer of self-loathing to the disgust I already feel for myself.

I need to do something about Lucía. Get her off this ship, permanently. When she’s gone, I’ll stop feeling like this and perhaps I’ll finally be able to focus. Because as it stands, I’m barely holding it together.

I haven’t so much as taken a nap in the two days since Lucía came on board and the Serramorphs started “helping” us with the ship. How can I? Those creatures are a fucking disaster and I’m certain that the moment I turn my back on them, they’ll damage something critical. They haven’t yet, and we’re actually making good progress on the repairs but that’s only because I’ve been constantly monitoring them.

I’m not sure when the last time I ate something was, either. Or drank water. I survive solely on stimsticks and sheer willpower. It’s working just fine. If only I could remove that infuriatingly distracting human from the equation, everything would be perfect.

Hearing Lucía’s voice somewhere nearby, my mind blanks. “Great job, guys!” she praises the stupid bugs. “One more power converter then we can restart the fusion reactor. Then we’ll have enough power for all of your environmentals to run smoothly. You’ll have the perfect home for your youngling before it hatches.”

I snort. As if we need more bugs on board. For some reason, though, the rest of the crew is enchanted by the idea of having a “baby” around, even if it is a Serramorph baby with claws and pincers sharp enough to tear through flesh.

At this point, the Serramorphs staying on board the Supernova and keeping their ridiculous biosphere operational is a done deal. No one cares about my objections. Especially after I was forced to admit that, despite the removed bulkheads, their makeshift biosphere doesn’t threaten the structural integrity of the ship and the power required to run it is miniscule given our reactor’s output.

It might all be true but, still. Why the fuck do we need a waterfall or a pond and grass and trees and universe knows what else on a freaking spaceship?

Sucking in a deep breath from my inhaler, I notice that the stimstick inside it is almost empty.Frowning at the end of yet another stimstick, I wonder, how many do I have left?

There aren’t any more in the ship’s infirmary, I made sure of that. They probably have some in the station’s infirmary but it’s not like I can casually break in there.

A cargo ship arrived yesterday, carrying supplies for the station and some of the parts we need to fix the ship. I curse myself for not adding stimsticks to our order. I could have done it without anyone noticing but I really thought the ones I took would last me longer.

When did I use this one up? The last I remember, it was nearly full. This…morning? I check my wrist-mounted comm, surprised to find out it’s evening already. What did I do all day? I fixed stuff, of course, but…

No matter how hard I rake my brain, I can’t recall any details. I look down at the tools in my hands, then check the corridor identification number on the wall before me, mildly confused. What am I even doing here? This corridor wasn’t on the roster today, was it?

Lucía’s voice rings from somewhere below again. “Alright, guys. I don’t know where the jerk in charge is but we can handle a test run on our own, right? Tink, have you finished those relays? Groot, Yoda, Alf, you’re on wiring check. Spock and Chewie, you two monitor any power fluctuation from that panel down the corridor. We’ll only use five percent of the normal charge, just to check the circuits’ integrity. Everyone ready?”

Like a moth to the flame, I’m drawn closer to the sound of Lucía’s voice. Quietly, I descend the ladder to the lower levels and peek around the corner, my breath catching.

The corridor is far from hot, yet sweat beads on Lucía’s forehead and chest. Her practically bare chest. She’s stripped off the top half of her coveralls, tying the sleeves around her waist and now all that covers her chest is a thin white tank top, soaked with sweat and covered in black smudges.

As my eyes lock onto her nipples, clearly visible through the semi see-through fabric, I swallow around a lump forming in my throat. My cock hardening, I want to step back or look away but my body refuses to put more distance between me and the human. If anything, it wants to move closer to her.

With her attention fixed on the panel in front of her, Lucía doesn’t notice me ogling. As soon as Cai translates the Serramorphs’ chirps as affirmatives, Lucía nods, then flips a switch.

My ahni detect the sudden change in the electromagnetic field surrounding us as a soft wave, running through the walls and filling the dead corridor with life again. The charge is weak, just a fraction of the usual power coursing through the conduits but it’s a welcome change.

Until a dangerous spike starts building up inside the relay station immediately behind Lucía’s back. My heart nearly stops as I feel it coming, growing to dangerous levels and searching for a place to discharge.

My body doesn’t wait for conscious thought. I’m running before I even realize what I am doing.

Lucía cries out as I collide with her, sending us both sprawling onto the metal floor. I do my best to roll us mid-air and absorb the brunt of the impact, but her elbow still slams into the wall as we fall.

She opens her mouth to scream at me, no doubt, but before she makes a sound, an arc of lightning surges between the two panels above our heads, right through the spot where she was standing just a second ago.

Sparks fly from both panels, and a sharp stench of burning wires reaches my nostrils. I jump up to check on the panel, but Lucía shoves me away. “Get the fuck away from that,” she snarls.

I just saved her life, yet there’s not an ounce of gratitude in her voice.

“You’re welcome,” I snarl back at her before pushing her shoulder out of my way. “Let me see. We need to cut off the—”

“I know!” she snaps, flipping the switch, the sparks dying immediately. Smoke continues to billow from the hatch on the other side of the corridor, but Lucía pays it no mind, glaring at me instead. “I know you hate me but what the fuck, D’Aakh? Are you trying to kill me now?!”

I step back, confused by her outburst. “Kill you? I just saved your life!”

“Saved my life?! You were the one to put me in danger in the first place!” Before I can react, she strides over to the burning panel, a thick cloud of smoke wafting from it as she yanks it open. “Just as I thought,” she spits out. “So, are you trying to kill me, or are you just an incompetent idiot?”

“What the fuck are you talking about, female?” Surreptitiously, I check her head for signs of blood. Perhaps she has a concussion?

Furious, Lucía gestures inside the panel. “This! None of these circuits were supposed to be live yet. These corridors weren’t on the repair roster for days. They were supposed to be cut off from the main grid until we could assess the damage. They can’t hold the level of charge we just tried to put through them!”

“Oh, so you made a mistake and nearly killed yourself in the process.” I scoff. “Why doesn’t that surprise me?”

“ I made a mistake?!” Lucía shrieks. “ Me ? I haven’t touched this panel all day and neither did the Serramorphs!”

Her words finally register. “Are you suggesting it was me?” I retort incredulously. Never in my life have I made such a rookie mistake as connecting an unverified circuit to a live one. How dare she even suggest that?

“No, bughead. I’m not suggesting it because there’s nothing to suggest. I know it was you. All I’m wondering is whether it was on purpose or whether you just fucked up.”

“I do not ‘fuck up’! And I didn’t touch this fucking panel.”

Lucía scoffs. “Really? So where were you all day? Because it sure as hell wasn’t down that corridor, where you were actually supposed to be! I saw you in the upper levels, messing with shit that wasn’t on the roster. Admit it!”

“I have nothing to admit,” I reply icily, ignoring a thought niggling at the back of my mind. I was in the upper levels, wasn’t I? Still, I don’t make mistakes. Ever. “This was all your fault! You’re merely looking for someone else to blame. In fact,” I continue as I realize this is the perfect opportunity to get rid of Lucía once and for all, “your negligence and lack of skill put lives in danger and caused further damage. You’re out.”

“I’m what now?! This wasn’t my fault!”

I ball my trembling hands into fists and lock emotions from my expression as I hold her gaze. “You’re fired. And before you run crying to the captain, remember, I’ve known him for years and while he might be benevolent with lower intelligence creatures like yourself, he won’t stand for anyone putting his crew in danger.”

She glares at me with such loathing I can physically feel it prickling over my skin. I expect her to scream and rage at me, try to assault me, even. Instead, she merely shakes her head. “You’re slipping, D’Aakh, and you damn well know it. This,” she jabs her finger toward the still smoldering panel, “was not your first fuck up. It was just the first I didn’t manage to fix in time. It’s just a matter of time before someone gets hurt because of you but that will be on your conscience. I’m leaving. I won’t work with someone who’s a danger to himself and everyone around him. Especially one who doesn’t even have the balls to admit his own mistake.”

Calmly, she collects her tools, sliding each one into its respective place on her tool belt with a grace that speaks of years of experience. Without a word, she turns to the ladder, leaving me without so much as an argument.

I need an argument. A fight. I need her to fight me, to scream at me, to show any emotion but the cold dismissal that seeps from her right now.

“Good,” I sneer. “Go. You were doing more damage than good, anyway.”

Only my years of training with special ops allow me the speed to duck the wrench aimed at my head. Baring her ridiculously flat teeth in a snarl, Lucía reaches for another tool to throw at me, then changes her mind. “Do us all a favor and die, bughead,” she shouts before climbing up the ladder and disappearing from my sight.

A wave of emotions assaults me. Surprisingly, none of them is relief. I should be relieved. I finally got what I wanted. Lucía is gone, and she isn’t coming back. Then why the fuck do I feel grief and anguish almost as heavily as when I lost Mzr?

Picking up the wrench Lucía just threw at me, like a total idiot, I bring it up to my nose. It smells like engine grease, sweat, and her.

Fuck. What have I done?

I eye the smoking panel with unease. I didn’t lie when I said I don’t remember touching it. However, I also don’t remember not touching it. I don’t actually remember what I did for most of the day.

Shaken, I bring the inhaler to my mouth, frowning when the stimstick clicks empty. How many times did I use it today? What have I been working on all day? Did I really mess with the wrong panel?

Did I put Lucía’s life in danger?

A chill creeps down my spine. What the fuck have I done?