Page 11 of Mr. Edwards

I barely know him, but I inch in his direction because he makes me feel safe. I’m usually on the receiving end of my mother’s cruelty, so I know the moment she notices I’m here, her rage will be redirected toward me. If someone, or even something upsets her, I’m the person she lashes out at. It’s always my fault.

“You ruin everything.”

“I should’ve got rid of you when I had the chance.”

“You’re my biggest regret.”

“I hate you.”

I’ve heard it all before, but the last one hurts the most.

I try to act like her words don’t cut me to the bone, but they do. I didn’t ask to be born into this shithole of a life. I try to be good and stay out of her way. I do everything she asks of me, but it’s never enough.

“Who the fuck…” she shrieks, snapping her head in our direction, but her words die out the moment her eyes narrow on me. “You!”

Instinctively, I take another step backward. Frank still has a tight grip on her arm, but it doesn’t stop her from trying to lunge for me.

“I don’t think so,” Reece says, maneuvering me behind him and stepping into Roxy’s path to block her attack.

“Get out of my way,” she yells.

“Calm down.” Reece holds his hands up in front of him as he speaks. “She’s just a kid.”

“She’s a little cunt. I warned you to stay away from here, Carlee. I’m gonna beat your sorry ass when I get my hands on you.”

I can no longer see her because I’m shielded behind Reece’s tank of a body, but even that doesn’t stop the fear from surging through me. She terrifies me when she’s like this.

“Well, you’ll have to get through me first,” Reece retorts, making my mouth gape open. Nobody has ever stood up for me before.Nobody.

“Are you okay, kid?” Reece asks as we travel down the main street in the direction of the trailer park.

It took close to half an hour for Reece to get my irate mother in the back of his vehicle, all the while shielding me from her outbursts. Thankfully, within minutes of being sprawled out in the back seat, she passed out cold. The patience he’d shown her despite the awful things that spewed from her mouth surprised me. At one point, she even spat in his face, it was awful. He kept his cool though. Numerous times Frank suggested calling the cops or throwing her in a cab, and he probably meant literally after the way she acted, but Reece refused, saying there was no way he was letting me go home with her on my own. Even our neighbors at the trailer park turn a blind eye when Roxy is on one of her tirades.

“I’m okay,” I whisper as my gaze moves toward the passenger side window. I’m ashamed of the way my mom acted just now. I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve seen her like that, or worse, but I feel horrible for the way she treated Reece. I’ve known him for less than an hour, yet I can already tell he’s a good guy. He didn’t deserve any of this. It was all my fault. I should’ve just stayed home.

“Can I ask you something?”

“Sure,” I reply, turning my head in his direction.

“What are those marks on your arms? They look like small burns.”

Again, I just shrug, not wanting to elaborate any further. I’m like an abused puppy, loyal despite the neglect.

He’s right though, they are burns. Sometimes when my mom is drunk, she puts her cigarettes out on me. The ones I have now are fresh, but I still carry scars from theothers. The kids at school say I have scabies. It’s just another thing they pick on me for.

Although this life is all I’ve known, I’m also aware of the consequences that come with speaking out. I’ve witnessed a few kids in the trailer park being removed from their families. The last thing I want is to be taken away from my mother. She needs me, and in a way, I need her too. We’re all each other have. I’ve heard stories about what happens to kids in the system. I don’t want to be another statistic. My circumstances may not be ideal, but it’s better the devil you know. She’s a different person when she’s sober, so I can’t hold it against her.

I turn my head away from him when he raises an eyebrow, but thankfully he doesn’t push it any further.

“Is your mom violent with you often?”

“What? No, why would you ask that?” I lie.

“I saw how she acted toward you tonight.”

“She was just upset that I came here is all. She’s warned me not to.”

“Then why did you come?”